Do you think I poked the tiger and ruined any chance that we may have had at R? I just felt so powerless and the more angrier he was becoming the more desperate I was to make sure I had the money to protect myself.
You have not ruined any chance at R.
He has rejected your offer of R. Repeatedly (lying about A's, acting like a victim, blame shifting, calling you selfish for asking questions, bullying, draining the checking acct in order to make checks bounce).
So there was never a chance of him being in R.
A normal remorseful man would be devastated to realize he had made his wife feel that threatened and insecure.
Your WH wants you to behave on HIS terms, thus the bullying.
He has no intentions, at this point, of changing himself. Considering his Dday was 4.5 months ago, it is unlikely he will suddenly decide to change.
Go see the lawyer again and get yourself protected.