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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Choices
Lola2kids
Member
Member # 32789
Default  Posted: 8:20 AM, July 26th (Friday)

Some recent posts have me thinking about choices.

His choices:
-to answer the first e-mail from her
-to send her his cell phone number on the 2nd email and ask her to call
-to begin the EA 2 weeks after the first contact
-to meet face to face in another city and lie to me about it
-to lie about the next trip as well
-to lie to me when I found out
-to continue the affair with no remorse while still living in the house
-to finally move out of the house because I was too nosy and into his business
-to live his life since he does not have to answer to anyone but himself
-to separate financially
-to not have a formal visitation schedule in order to have more time to himself and to travel to see MOW
-to be away for 2 Christmases in a row to visit MOW
-to stop coming in the morning to take them to school
-to never call the kids when he was away with MOW or when she was here visiting
-to not ask about their lives or school or how they were feeling
-to call only about once a week and speak to each DD for about 5 minutes
-to spend 4% of his time visiting them since the beginning of this year.
-to get engaged really soon after her divorce became final
-to decide that now is the time to introduce them to the OW/fiance

Now he is telling me that he thinks he has been more than accomodating to me and he doesn't know why I object to them meeting her.
I guess he sees the above choices as "accomodating".

My choices
-to be their only parent 24/7...oh, sorry, that wasn't a choice. It was a necessity.
He doesn't see his kids by his choice. As a result of his choices. When he is with them I miss out on seeing them through no fault of my own.

"The fact that I have to suffer for his actions makes me have such a hard time having sympathy for his complaints. Because some of us are suffering and will continue to do so, even though we had no choice in the matter. He did."
(^^paraphrased from another poster)

So true. It's sad, but it's so true.


BS: (Me) 47
Kids: twins DD(10)
WS: Him 49 (Together 12 years)
D-Day April 18, 2011, Him:out Sept. 11, 2011..moved June 27, 2014.
"They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder but I am growing more and more fond of his absence"

Posts: 1321 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Ontario, Canada
MovingUpward
Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 11:19 AM, July 26th (Friday)

(((Lola)))

Keep being a super mom and don't budge on letting OW meet the kids.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 51567 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
Topic Posts: 2