New Beginnings
User Topic: Poofers
Member # 30341
Angry  Posted: 3:52 PM, July 26th (Friday)

I thought I was immune to it, had built up a tolerance, was able to get to the "thank you for eliminating yourself from my pool of potential dates" place pretty quickly and then today once again I am sad and mad and feeling unlovable and unlucky and undesirable just because "It's a date Friday" message on Wednesday and casual superficial flirting yesterday, didn't result in a "let's meet at this time at this place" message that a normal conversation with a normal person would have resulted in, but was instead replaced by a "poof" and silence. We had established a "where", had established that Friday would be good for both of us, but hadn't settled on a specific time. And when I asked "Are we still on for Friday night?" I was met with silence...

Really? Why do people do this? What is wrong with them? What sick and twisted game are they playing?? And if it isn't sick or twisted what is it??

I do realize it has NOTHING to do with me, and as Baggage Reclaim would say "He's not that special" so why does it hurt me so much? fuckityfuckfuck

DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52

Posts: 3209 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
Member # 18437
Default  Posted: 4:31 PM, July 26th (Friday)

(((Better4me))) I have no answers. I can't figure people out either. You are not alone.

Me - BS 42
Kids 12 and 9

Posts: 1846 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: NY
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 4:35 PM, July 26th (Friday)


I dunno. I had one guy cancel an hour before the date, but at least he cancelled. I've had "poofers galore" these last few weeks.

I've learned to never get my hopes up until I meet someone. The "leading up to the date" is very much in the "might be a poofer" grey area.

I have, dangerously or not, learned to be very detached from the entire OLD arena. Why I'm now taking a break...

me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings

Posts: 4186 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
Member # 33440
Default  Posted: 5:16 PM, July 26th (Friday)

I will never understand why people act like they're into you and then suddenly disappear. Before we've met is bad enough, but when it happens after the meet n greet, or even after a few dates, it's like wtf? Why waste everyone's time?

I agree with cmego. There has to be a level of detachment particularly when OLD. It's the only way to preserve even a bit of sanity lol.

Me (BS): 32, Mommy to J: 2 1/2 Divorced: 4/10/13
Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself

Posts: 485 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: NY
Topic Posts: 4