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Reconciliation
User Topic: The "new normal" sucks.
TryingEveryday
New Member
Member # 39429
Default  Posted: 7:01 PM, July 26th (Friday)

Our R is going exactly the way it should. My wife is doing everything she can/should. Her efforts/love/patience/compassion are endless. She is remorseful and completely open. We've been through IC and MC. Seven months out now. And I gotta say, the new normal day-to-day life sucks. Up one minute, down the next. Triggers. Rollercoasters. I hate this. I know we're gonna get through it, but I seriously hate it.


Me - BS - 46
Her - WW - 38 (2 ONS)
Five kids:
DD20, DD18, DD17, DS16, DS16
D Day - Dec 24, 2012 -
R - 20 months and going extremely well.

Posts: 37 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Montana
somanyyears
Member
Member # 26970
Default  Posted: 7:10 PM, July 26th (Friday)


..

..i'm hearing you brother.. 4+ years out and there continues to be 'bad' days..

..not too many folks here who"DON'T" hate it..

..peace and prayers to you.

smy


trust no other human- love only your pets
She isn't and never was who I thought..I can't believe who I married and what she did to us.
Me 67
Her 63
Married 42 yrs (together 47)
18 yr LTA with bf


Posts: 4129 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: the sad state of affairs
SadFlower
Member
Member # 37725
Default  Posted: 7:18 PM, July 26th (Friday)

I also hate the roller coaster. At 11 months out, though, the ups are far more frequent than the downs. Hang in the, Trying--it sounds as though your FWW is doing everything possible. In time, your downs will become less frequent, too.

But I do get it--the triggers and the roller coaster are pretty awful.


Me: BW, age 66
Him: WH, age 64
Married 19 years
In R.

D-Day: August 14, 2012
9 year LTA with former co-worker and family "friend"/7 years EA+PA, 2 more years EA


Posts: 408 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Connecticut
AFrayedKnot
Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 10:55 PM, July 26th (Friday)

The roller coaster does suck. It does get better though.

Are there any new and fun things you can plan to do together to break up the day to day?


BS 40
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2636 | Registered: Aug 2012
still-living
Member
Member # 30434
Default  Posted: 5:03 AM, July 27th (Saturday)

Like Chicho says, it gets better. It's like a diminishing sine wave, with some randomness, and it levels out lower than what you lived with before.


BH(me)47
WW 47 FOO Issues
DDay 11/09 Coworker
High School Sweethearts
Married 06/91
8 months TT
Sons 19 and 14
Recovery is constructing a pyramid of inference from which to see clearer.
The process involves using the reflexive loop.

Posts: 779 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Ches
Topic Posts: 5