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User Topic: My dad died.
Member # 8283
Default  Posted: 2:51 AM, July 27th (Saturday)

He's the last parent I had.

I need advice. I need it so bad I don't known what advice I need, even.

It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.

Posts: 14226 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Florida
Member # 27454
Default  Posted: 3:32 AM, July 27th (Saturday)

I am so sorry to hear of your huge loss.

I don't know what advice to offer.....

Grief is a path and journey. A long hard one. You can only take it one step at a time.

Hugs to you tonight .....

Me = BS aged 43
2 boys, 13 and 9
DDay 1/19/10
Confronted him 2/16/10
Finally Divorced 8/29/12

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.”

Posts: 726 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Expats in Europe
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 3:51 AM, July 27th (Saturday)

I don't think there really is any advice possible, at least none that is helpful.

ETA: After some time to think on this, I still have no advice. I find that even 15 years later, the loss of my father is still painful, and I wouldn't change that. Every painful thought reminds me of what I was fortunate to have in the first place.

[This message edited by aesir at 7:45 AM, July 27th (Saturday)]

Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.

Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
Member # 8271
Default  Posted: 4:41 AM, July 27th (Saturday)

So very sorry for your loss.

"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand." ~Homer Simpson

Posts: 4160 | Registered: Sep 2005
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 4:57 AM, July 27th (Saturday)

I'm so sorry Lady V.

Even though I had my own family, and my sibs, when both Mom and Dad were gone, I felt so alone in the world.

Do you have siblings? Or are you an only child?

We are here for you.

((((Lady V))))

me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1:
Episode 2:

Posts: 7113 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 5:24 AM, July 27th (Saturday)

Oh, I'm so so sorry! ((((HUGS))))

Do you have people who can come to you IRL and walk with you through this?

Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011

Posts: 9856 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Member # 2766
Default  Posted: 5:45 AM, July 27th (Saturday)

I'm so sorry to hear that. I've lost both of my parents too, I have a brother and that helps. Do you have a sibling? This is a time when you can bond with them if you are not close. In my case that is what happened.

Lean on friends....esp. if you have friends who knew your Dad.

I understand that "lost" feeling. I believe he is watching over you...and he's with your mother now.

Time will make it easier. You will always miss him.

Posts: 2596 | Registered: Nov 2003 | From: Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canada
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 5:57 AM, July 27th (Saturday)

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I have no advice, just hugs (((((LadyV))))).

Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."

Posts: 38203 | Registered: Sep 2007
Member # 25643
Default  Posted: 6:01 AM, July 27th (Saturday)

((((ladyV))). I am so sorry


Posts: 1109 | Registered: Sep 2009
Member # 24261
Default  Posted: 6:13 AM, July 27th (Saturday)

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

Do you have other family members/close friends who can help you through this very difficult time?


DDay - April 2008
Me - 54 and doing great. Found myself again and loving life
Him - who??

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone (Johnny Nash)

Those who stir the shit soup get to lick the spoon!

Posts: 4965 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: UK
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 6:18 AM, July 27th (Saturday)

LadyV, I’m so sorry. My Dad died just before Christmas 2011 and my Mum died the day after her birthday on 22nd May this year, 9wks ago. My Godmother died 3wks ago and the funeral was Thursday just gone. It was the shock of my Mum dying.

I think one of the hardest things (apart from having to deal with all the personal effects) is not being able to just pick up the phone and give them a call. My Dad was full of sound, sage advice and my Mum able to give me help with why my jam won’t set.

I feel for you. It’s a very sad time. You don’t need advice, you need someone to give you lots of hugs and understanding. Wrap yourself in the love your Dad had for you and know the memories will always be there. Hugs.

D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 57 y/o Him, WS, 58 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 19 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3470 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
Member # 99
Default  Posted: 6:27 AM, July 27th (Saturday)

Oh ladyv,

I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I lost my father in 1998, and my mother this year on Mother's Day. Losing your last parent is quite unsettling. It's like I don't know how to "be" without a parent.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Huge hugs.

"Anyone perfect must be lying; anything easy has its cost. Anyone plain can be lovely; anyone loved can be lost." Barenaked Ladies

Posts: 2483 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: North Carolina
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 6:33 AM, July 27th (Saturday)


I'm so sorry for your loss.

"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

Posts: 11235 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Just a fool in limbo
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 6:44 AM, July 27th (Saturday)

One step at a time. My Dad died 6 years ago and it still takes my breath away.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings

Posts: 4187 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
Member # 17890
Default  Posted: 7:10 AM, July 27th (Saturday)

So sorry for your loss.

what did I ever do to deserve this?

Me:47 BS
Him: X, 51 PA SA NPD?
2 kids; DD14, DD8 divorced

Posts: 1043 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: east coast
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 7:13 AM, July 27th (Saturday)

(((((((Lady V)))))))

Sorry for your loss

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie

Posts: 3435 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 7:36 AM, July 27th (Saturday)

Big hugs


I have no advice. Just compassion.

DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid

Posts: 15325 | Registered: Jun 2006
Deeply Scared
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 7:39 AM, July 27th (Saturday)


I'm so sorry, I completely understand...I lost both my parents too..

I'm too young to go through the rest of my life not hearing their voices

I need advice. I need it so bad I don't known what advice I need, even.

It's especially hard when exciting things (good or bad) are happening in my life...I don't have either of them to pick up the phone and tell. So, I make sure to 'talk' to them on a daily basis. I keep their memories very much alive in my heart and mind. It also helps that MH loved my mother very much (my dad died in '82) so he has wonderful memories and stories of her as well.

Again, I'm really sorry for your loss.

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.

Posts: 198445 | Registered: May 2002
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 8:05 AM, July 27th (Saturday)

I'm sorry for your loss LadyV


Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.

Posts: 52737 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
Member # 24786
Default  Posted: 8:05 AM, July 27th (Saturday)

((( ladyv)))

I cannot offer advice as I've only lost one parent so don't know what it feels like to lose both.

All I can say (from personal grief when I lost my dad ) is to cry and don't bottle your emotions up and find someone with big shoulders who can just hug you and be a strong presence for you -both now and in the future.

I am so sorry that you have to grieve for someone once more.
(((Huge hugs)))

BS(Me) FWH(Him) DDay 05.09
A went underground. True R 02.10
I won't let another woman reap the benefit of enjoying the man my H has now become†

Posts: 1584 | Registered: Jul 2009
Member # 22478
Default  Posted: 8:28 AM, July 27th (Saturday)

I'm so sorry LadyV. I too am parentless. Although nothing really fills that space, I have made it a point reach out to a couple of older people on holidays, etc. One woman, in particular, was very close with my mother and it makes her day when she hears from me.

May your pain soon be replaced with all the wonderful memories.


Married 10 years at DDay
Me: 53 Him: 52 - Desperately trying to unfuck the donkey.
DDay: July 16, 2008
FWH Epiphany: Aug.23, 2008 NC: Aug. 28, 2008

Posts: 5624 | Registered: Jan 2009
Member # 17243
Default  Posted: 9:15 AM, July 27th (Saturday)


I am so sorry for your loss.

Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead....Adele

Posts: 960 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Upstate NY
little turtle
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 9:26 AM, July 27th (Saturday)

((((Lady V))))

Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4212 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
Member # 12802
Default  Posted: 9:30 AM, July 27th (Saturday)

I'm so so sorry LadyV

From time to time, I do consider that I might be mad. Like any self-respecting lunatic, however, I am always quick to dismiss any doubts about my sanity. DK

Posts: 14861 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: mercury's underboob
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 9:34 AM, July 27th (Saturday)

You are in my prayers

BS 40
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2647 | Registered: Aug 2012
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 9:35 AM, July 27th (Saturday)

I am so very sorry for your loss.

Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24601 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
Member # 36072
Default  Posted: 9:39 AM, July 27th (Saturday)

I'm so sorry for your loss.


Me: BS
D-Day: 7/7/12

Trust is like paper. Once it's crumpled it can never be perfect again.

Posts: 1179 | Registered: Jul 2012
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, July 27th (Saturday)

Oh, honey. I am so very sorry. (((((LadyV))))) Holding you and your family in my thoughts.

You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 25842 | Registered: Aug 2011
Sad in AZ
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 9:49 AM, July 27th (Saturday)

I'm so sorry Lady V.

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20317 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
booger bear
Member # 26584
Default  Posted: 10:27 AM, July 27th (Saturday)


Hugs and to you and yours. I'm so sorry I wish I knew what to say.

I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18813 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: OK - Hot as hell here !!!!!!
Member # 6850
Default  Posted: 10:30 AM, July 27th (Saturday)

So sorry to hear of your Dad's passing....take care of, sleep, steer clear of excessive alcohol, and let yourself grieve...cry when you need to, talk about him, remember the good times and the bad....HUGS

You can't reach for anything new if your hands are still full of yesterday's junk.......Louise Smith

Posts: 4845 | Registered: Apr 2005 | From: Ontario
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 10:35 AM, July 27th (Saturday)

((LadyV)) I'm so sorry for your loss. There really isn't any advice. You'll always miss him and wish you'd had more time. Try to focus on positive memories. It really helps to be with other people that knew and loved him and reminisce about happy things together. Please remember to take care of yourself during this difficult time. ((LadyV))

"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5298 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 10:45 AM, July 27th (Saturday)


I am so sorry. If you need a IRL hug. I think we are nearby.

More hugs.

I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5327 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Member # 16590
Default  Posted: 10:58 AM, July 27th (Saturday)

I am so, so sorry for your loss.


Me: BW - I'm much too young to feel this damn old
Him: FWH - Midlife crisis with a pathetic porn wannabe
D-Day: August 2004; Lots of false R until February 2005.

It takes all kinds of kinds....Miranda Lambert

Posts: 3247 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: So Calif
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 11:08 AM, July 27th (Saturday)

I'm so sorry (((ladyV)))

Posts: 6674 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 11:32 AM, July 27th (Saturday)


I talk to my mom every day, she has been "gone" since 2010. Still very much alive in my DNA.

Big hugs.

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17589 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Member # 25395
Default  Posted: 11:50 AM, July 27th (Saturday)

Oh, Lady V, I am so very sorry.

Me: BS/39
Him: WS/37
DDay: August 23, 2009
Together 14 years.

Posts: 1684 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: not toronto anymore
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 12:04 PM, July 27th (Saturday)

I am so sorry for your loss.


Posts: 36043 | Registered: Mar 2011
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 12:18 PM, July 27th (Saturday)


So sorry to hear about your loss.

Posts: 7635 | Registered: Dec 2010
Member # 30803
Default  Posted: 12:36 PM, July 27th (Saturday)

I am so sorry for your loss, LadyV.

Me ($39.95 plus S & H)
DS1(17), DS2(15)

Enjoying this chapter in my life.
Learning that being alone does not mean being lonely.
Discovering that where I've been is not as important as where I'm going.

Posts: 355 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Right Here, Canada
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 12:40 PM, July 27th (Saturday)

I am sorry LadyV. Feel free to talk to us if you need to

“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 45032 | Registered: Sep 2006
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 12:43 PM, July 27th (Saturday)


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4693 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Member # 32943
Default  Posted: 12:50 PM, July 27th (Saturday)

Adding my hugs and prayers, Lady V.

Do you have any siblings?

Me: BS, 40's.

Posts: 1797 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: West Coast
Member # 34353
Default  Posted: 1:16 PM, July 27th (Saturday)

I am sorry for your loss

Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA
Trying to reconcile

Posts: 1649 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: midwest now.
Member # 26651
Default  Posted: 1:32 PM, July 27th (Saturday)

So sorry for your loss, LadyV


Me: FBW/30 Him: FWH/33 The kidlets: DS13, DS10, and DD8 The hounds: Four Shih Tzu's
Finally, completely R'd
Clothed in strength and dignity, with nothing to fear, she smiles when she thinks about the future.~Proverbs 31:25

Posts: 11586 | Registered: Dec 2009
Member # 18179
Default  Posted: 1:40 PM, July 27th (Saturday)


I'm sorry for your loss; I think when you have a child (or children) you mourn not only for the loss of your parent but also for the loss of your child's grandparent. It's a disorienting, sad time. My thoughts are with you.

You can't fill a cup with no bottom.

Posts: 3893 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: a new start together
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 1:55 PM, July 27th (Saturday)

I'm so very sorry for your loss, LadyV. Both my parents and my darling more-like-a-mother Nana, as well. The feeling of being an orphan hits one pretty hard. Be kind to yourself for however long it takes to feel like yourself again. (((LadyV)))

Age: 64..ummmmmmm,, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks

Posts: 7305 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 3:08 PM, July 27th (Saturday)

Oh no ((((Lady V))))

I'm so sorry for your loss, I am aching for you.

Be easy on yourself now, I hope you have a lot of irl support for you in your grief.

My deepest condolences.

((((Lady V))))

Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 25 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 30
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2625 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 3:55 PM, July 27th (Saturday)


Posts: 11776 | Registered: Mar 2008
Member # 25560
Default  Posted: 4:02 PM, July 27th (Saturday)

One step at a time. One foot in front of the other, all those platitudes are all too true. For me, I found the pain was truly eased by time, and the painful memories were quickly(!) replaced by happy ones.

Allow yourself time to grieve. Do the crying you need to, without apologies. Take time for you and lean on whoever you can, IRL and here.

Hugs. SK

Damn autocorrect is responsible for the silly errors, sorry!

Posts: 3692 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: In my head
Member # 26970
Default  Posted: 4:47 PM, July 27th (Saturday)

..sorry LadyV... ((((hugs))))


trust no other human- love only your pets
She isn't and never was who I thought..I can't believe who I married and what she did to us.
Me 67
Her 63
Married 42 yrs (together 47)
18 yr LTA with bf

Posts: 4129 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: the sad state of affairs
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 4:52 PM, July 27th (Saturday)

I'm so sorry for your loss LadyV !
I have lost both parents and I will always miss them as you will your Dad.

ETA: Hold on to the precious memories. I have started to write down many of them for my DD40. My Dad has been gone 19 yrs and Mom for 7 yrs. When writing, the tears flow, I laugh out loud, and just feel so lucky I had the parents I did.
Big Hugs

[This message edited by gma56 at 4:57 PM, July 27th (Saturday)]

It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20384 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Closer to where I want to be..
Member # 20563
Default  Posted: 7:25 PM, July 27th (Saturday)

Lady V, hold on tight to Lord V and Baby V. I remember a lot of your story. Are your cousins an issue at ths point?

You were good to your father, do not doubt that.

Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

Posts: 6605 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Not Oz
Member # 13813
Default  Posted: 8:54 PM, July 27th (Saturday)

I am so sorry for your loss. (((LadyV)))

Married 18 yrs, together 25+.
D-day: 2/18/07.
1 child
The story doesn't really matter anymore. Time is a great healer. Life is good.

Posts: 2432 | Registered: Mar 2007
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 7:50 AM, July 28th (Sunday)

I'm so sorry to hear this.

Another parentless person here. There really is nothing like that kind of void.

My heart breaks for you.



Fidelity isn't a's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!

Posts: 21076 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
solus sto
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 8:22 PM, July 28th (Sunday)

Oh, Lady V, I am so very sorry.

BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 53, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8887 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 8:38 AM, July 29th (Monday)


May you find peace and strength during this time.

Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8744 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Member # 6449
Default  Posted: 9:03 AM, July 29th (Monday)

((((LadyV)))) My deepest sympathies in your loss. Both of my parents have gone on and I know the lost feeling that goes with their passing. Sending you good thoughts.

~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"

Posts: 9768 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: Texas
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 11:11 AM, July 29th (Monday)

I'm so sorry for your loss..

Posts: 3423 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
Member # 3031
Default  Posted: 12:43 PM, July 29th (Monday)


"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."

Posts: 21322 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Hell and back, way back :o)
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 10:09 PM, July 29th (Monday)

(((Lady V)))

Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15417 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
Member # 39902
Default  Posted: 10:51 PM, July 29th (Monday)

I am so sorry for your loss. Sending hugs to you. I know this can make you feel so alone in the world.

I lost my grandma in May .My grandparents practically raised me.My kids are the only blood family I have left . It's hard & scary at times .
Allow yourself to grieve. And remember no one can ever take away the memories you & your father made together .

Posts: 86 | Registered: Jul 2013
Member # 16737
Default  Posted: 11:13 PM, July 29th (Monday)

I am so so sorry for your loss. (((Lady V))

me: BW, now 52;
DD now 16 (adopted by me as single mom, so XWH was "Dad")
married: June, 2005, together since July, 2002
d-day: 10/21/07;
Divorced July, 2008 and he never looked back...

Posts: 1214 | Registered: Oct 2007
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 11:20 PM, July 29th (Monday)

Lady V..I'm SO very sorry for your loss. Sending you lots of strength and hugs during this difficult time. Lean on us as much as you need to.


Me: 42
Two boys: 17 and 14
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?

Posts: 25628 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
Member # 34835
Default  Posted: 10:32 AM, July 30th (Tuesday)

I'm so very sorry to hear this. My father died when I was in high school and it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do.
I know it's even harder since he was your last parent.

Grieve all you want and as long as you want. Do not let anyone tell you how long it takes. It took me many years. It doesn't get better but you just learn it gets easier to handle you loss. Also, talk about it. You may not want to but talk. I didn't want to and finally I was forced. I hated every second of it but then I realized I was less emotional and I felt better.

Remember that he is always near. Even if you can't see him, you will know he's there. I am witness to that

Hugs and prayers to you!

Posts: 234 | Registered: Feb 2012
Member # 24849
Default  Posted: 11:01 AM, July 30th (Tuesday)

(((LadyV))) I'm so sorry.

FWW - 41
"Don't think first about the risks of speaking up. Think first about the risks of not speaking up." ~ Kerry Patterson

Posts: 5989 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal.....
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 3:31 PM, July 30th (Tuesday)

I'm so sorry.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3623 | Registered: Oct 2011
Member # 16305
Default  Posted: 5:26 PM, July 30th (Tuesday)

((Lady V)). Im sorry.

People tell you exactly who they are...why expect them to be what they are not ....will be divorcing the selfish creep.

Posts: 8413 | Registered: Sep 2007
exhausted lady
Member # 30217
Default  Posted: 11:12 PM, July 30th (Tuesday)


I so understand how you feel. My father passed away on July 9th. We had his Celebration of Life at my house on our family farm on Saturday the 27th.

I still have my mom, but she has dementia and will be coming to live with me when I get her out of rehab on Friday. She's my mom....but not really my mom anymore, if you know what I mean.

I don't know if you have any siblings, (I'm an only child), but don't be afraid to ask for a shoulder to lean on right now.

The grief of losing a parent is huge. Just.....huge. My cousins and friends have really come through for me during this time. All I had to do was swallow my pride and ask for help. They were just waiting for a clue from me on how exactly they COULD help.

My heart goes out to you. Even though we know this is something that was coming, there is truly no way to prepare yourself for the unexpected meltdowns you find yourself having.

I broke down in tears in the grocery store today. I was shopping along, picked up a package of honey-stung wings (my dad's favorite), and then it hit me all over again that he isn't here to eat them. I had to leave the store.

I wish I was there to give you a big, huge, real-life hug. This stuff is so much harder than I thought it would be. I'm a strong woman, and this has brought me to my knees more times than I care to think about.

Blessings to you LadyV. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Sometimes the hardest part of finally seeing through someone is accepting what you see...

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to
change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.
-Reinhold Neibuhr

Posts: 3168 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: Colorado
Topic Posts: 69