h has finally been reading with me. telling me how it is helping him, helping us.
How can I forgive you is the book.
I have been having some hope.
today he did nothing, nothing.
tonight I asked to read he said no he is going to be lazy.
this is after me telling him this morning how much this means to me. How looking forward to this gets me through my days. how I want him to initiate the reading.
right now I am so angry I feel like I am going to expolode!!! I actually threw a pot outside and smashed it.
I have been holding so much in trying to be so careful.
doesn't he see how he hurts me? Doesn't he care?
He knows right now how upset I am and he walked away and is watching tv.
It is almost a year since this crap started.
I want effort or I want to give up. I feel like I cant take this pain anymore.
tonight I just want to run away.
I hate this, I hate that I feel so much pain. I hate that I am not his first priority, I hate that he can still hurt me.
I don't want to cry anymore, pleaseLife is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.
I would now like to be known as Can!
dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
attempted R, it was all a lie