User Topic: Do I use the "D" word?
Member # 40076
Default  Posted: 10:46 AM, July 28th (Sunday)

I just recently (a few days ago) found proof of my husband's infidelity (I've been wondering for weeks). It involves an online/ phone affair with another woman, as well as Craigslist ads for casual sex. I can't deal with it anymore, and I need to confront his ASAP. Just wondering, should I tell him I want a divorce (I don't, but I feel like it may be the only option for us), or do I just tell him what I know and find out what he wants? Honestly, I don't give a f*ck what he wants right now, but I want to know where his head is. Is he remorseful, or is divorce his way out so he can continue his disgusting behavior without is pesky wife looking over his shoulder...

me: BW, 30
him: WH, 25
us: edging closer to R every day

married 2y, together 2.5y
1 beautiful daughter, 23m

"Someday soon, I'm going to put my life together; Win or lose, I'm starting over again."

Posts: 368 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Texas
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 10:58 AM, July 28th (Sunday)

My opinion is that you don't use the D word. You don't want to put an ultimatum out there or a state a direction that you don't believe in. When dealing with a wayward spouse, you don't want to minimize moments of being wishy washy. If you say you want a D and then don't follow through you might just show your WS that you can be talked out of things. When you want to establish expectations and boundaries. It is best to stick to things that you know that ou will follow through.


Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.

Posts: 52766 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
Topic Posts: 2