SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
General
User Topic: Petty me
still confounded
Member
Member # 7826
Default  Posted: 11:29 AM, July 29th (Monday)

OK, so I have a really pissy attitude about something, and on the one hand I know my feelings are accurate, but on the other hand I know I should just a) let it go and b) appreciate the benign result even if questioning the twisted motivation.
The ex and the OW-wife keep making generous donations,listed in both their names, to a charity that is "mine," i.e., it is something that I supported a long time but that my now-ex-husband went along with supporting during our marriage. But now that we are divorced, suddenly he and she have been donating to that same charity every year, and always in the next-higher category of amounts donated. Neither of them is in any way associated with the church or even the denomination, as far as I know. So what I feel is that it, the donation, is a sort of fuck-you to not only me ("See? I am still a good guy!") but also to the charity, because it's associated with the church where the ex used to be a deacon (uh huh).
When the affair was first revealed, one of the higher-ups at the church called my then-husband in for counseling. His expressed reaction was intense anger: "Those goddam hypocrites!"
So I was surprised and hurt and pissed off when the NEW Mr. and Mrs.'names appeared on the donors list a year or two later.
I realize that he is probably trying to tell the world that "our love is real, we are good people, I am still a loving, giving holy man." But it bugs me, y'know?
I just wanted to write this down to help me release it. Thanks, gang.


"Sometimes, the rest of your life starts with goodbye."
D-day April 2005
(Married 33 years, together 35)
Divorced Dec. '05
Life is good, but it took a long time to heal.

Posts: 1302 | Registered: Aug 2005 | From: up the river, NY
wanttogoforward
Member
Member # 29912
Default  Posted: 11:53 AM, July 29th (Monday)

Take his money and laugh all the way to the bank! Let him try to one up you- and think about how he has less money now and he is actually helping people.... Laugh about how he has less cash to spend on his new wifey now that he is giving it to the charity!

Posts: 1184 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: still lost
SisterMilkshake
Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 11:57 AM, July 29th (Monday)

Maybe it is his and O'Wife's pathetic way to try and make amends to you?

Whatever his motivations, I understand how upsetting it is to you. They should just fuck off and die quietly.

(((still confounded)))


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9848 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
kiki1
Member
Member # 37184
Default  Posted: 12:00 PM, July 29th (Monday)

Dont worry about it.

all the money in the world isnt going to get either one of them a ticket to heaven.

you'll have one though


Posts: 638 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: new york
ifinallyfoundme
Member
Member # 39523
Default  Posted: 12:15 PM, July 29th (Monday)

Take his money and laugh all the way to the bank! Let him try to one up you- and think about how he has less money now and he is actually helping people.... Laugh about how he has less cash to spend on his new wifey now that he is giving it to the charity!

and
Dont worry about it.
all the money in the world isnt going to get either one of them a ticket to heaven.

you'll have one though


Seems like these folks can't get you out of their system. That's some serious hate....paying to hate!

[This message edited by ifinallyfoundme at 12:16 PM, July 29th (Monday)]


Posts: 180 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: United States
RedRaven
New Member
Member # 39993
Default  Posted: 1:45 PM, July 29th (Monday)

Their actions speak more than their words. PPL know hypocrites when they see them. Just sit back with a smug smile and say nothing. Don't let them know they get to you. That's the best revenge of all.

Posts: 9 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Texas
still confounded
Member
Member # 7826
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, July 29th (Monday)

Thanks, guys. I just KNEW you'd get it. (I do not think it's an attempt at amends, however. But you never know ...)
Happy to be turning away from this mini-gripe. Blessings, one and all!


"Sometimes, the rest of your life starts with goodbye."
D-day April 2005
(Married 33 years, together 35)
Divorced Dec. '05
Life is good, but it took a long time to heal.

Posts: 1302 | Registered: Aug 2005 | From: up the river, NY
Topic Posts: 7