User Topic: The last tie is cut!
Member # 36839
Default  Posted: 8:33 AM, July 30th (Tuesday)

Well the last of the financial ties have been cut with xWW! She had been procrastinating about changing over utilities into her name and I wasn't making a big deal about it because I was being too nice... That changed when I got an email the other day from mOM#1's wife, who doesn't know we divorced, stating the A had started back up. So basically back when I gave xWW some money to pay the phone bill I was funding the A, fantastic. Well that was the last straw, this was the only stipulation I put on helping her through the summer (so the kids wouldn't have to do day-care) and yet she is back at it. I told her she had until the end of the week to change them over or I would cut them off. Surprisely she actually did it!

While I had hoped we could maintain a "friendly" divorce I have no desire anymore. I made it very clear she is never to ask me for assistance of any kind or contact me for any reason other than something involving the children. It's not even that I'm mad or triggering, just done. More than anything I feel sorry for mOM's wife, still living with all that mess. I did confirm for her she was correct, xWW actually admitted it, but just wow...

*edited for typos*

[This message edited by dlmos at 8:35 AM, July 30th (Tuesday)]

BH (32)
DS - 7, DD - 6

Posts: 461 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Fort Worth,Texas
Member # 32847
Default  Posted: 8:52 AM, July 30th (Tuesday)

That must feel so good! Glad you're making progress...

Tune out the noise of what others tell you about who you are and work it out for yourself...

Posts: 1650 | Registered: Jul 2011
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 9:25 AM, July 30th (Tuesday)

Did you tell her why you suddenly pushed this?

Just curious.

She's a real piece of work.


Fidelity isn't a's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!

Posts: 21071 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
Member # 36839
Default  Posted: 12:31 PM, July 30th (Tuesday)

Yes, I called and confirmed the A with her for the mOM's wife, then told her that we would have no further contact beyond the children from here on out. There is no misunderstanding as far as that goes. I've decided that even basic contact with her is just more trouble than it's worth. She did attempt to engage me via text so I sent her a letter I had prepared earlier this summer lining out when it is acceptable to contact me and for what reasons. So far since then she has made a few minor attempts to use the children as an reason to open a dialog but I just give her standard NC responses once she moves off topic.

BH (32)
DS - 7, DD - 6

Posts: 461 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Fort Worth,Texas
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 2:07 PM, July 30th (Tuesday)

It's shocking isn't it, when you think you know how manipulative your WS is only to find it they are even more so!

Good for you for standing your ground.

"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3124 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 12:27 AM, July 31st (Wednesday)

Gosh I just feel so sorry for the oBW.

Pissed too at what a shitty example your xWW is setting for your kids. Lucky they have you for a dad. Keep up the awesome work!

Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17860 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 2:07 AM, July 31st (Wednesday)

I don't know why most if not all of us need this sort of push to cut them off/out completely but I am glad you now have that final push. Do try to see it as a gift rather than the mind-fuck it feel like right now.

What a piece of work. The adage "Don't expect in D what you didn't get in your M" is so very true.

Bitch Be Gone!

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 5:53 AM, July 31st (Wednesday)

While I had hoped we could maintain a "friendly" divorce I have no desire anymore.

Good for you! She isn't your "friend", there is no need to be "friendly".

me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings

Posts: 4186 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 7:30 AM, July 31st (Wednesday)

Good job. Sometimes, we all need that slap of reality regarding what we were really married to.

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7772 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:12 AM, July 31st (Wednesday)

So glad you are free of that tie! Onward and upward, dlmos.

You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 25765 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 36839
Default  Posted: 1:09 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)

It is sad it has to be this way, but if she wasn''t a train wreck I wouldn''t be happily divored now right? Looking forward to NC and no more drama queen

BH (32)
DS - 7, DD - 6

Posts: 461 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Fort Worth,Texas
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 1:17 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)

Good! It sucks to have to treat someone you thought you would share your life with like that, but some people are just horrible excuses for human-beings.

You can't be "friends" with a cold-hearted POS.

Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 12