SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Off Topic
User Topic: Tattoos??
libertyrocks
Member
Member # 38924
Default  Posted: 3:24 PM, July 30th (Tuesday)

I want some tattoos, but my H doesn't like them. Would you still get them?

Hey, anyone remember that post about tramp stamps??lol. AND, NO, I don't want one of those. hahaha. But, for those who have them, no offense, a lot of people got them during that time...


Me-BW 36. STBXH-35,Recovering Alcoholic, M6yrs T13. Boys 2 & 4 1/2.
DDay #1 Nov,2012. 1 1/2 year false R & TT. 10 OW PA's 1LTA (W lied to) 3 years.
S Nov, 2013 again Jan,2014
Filed for D Feb,2014.

Posts: 962 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: So Cal, baby. :)
Gottagetthrough
Member
Member # 27325
Default  Posted: 3:29 PM, July 30th (Tuesday)

Hmmm.. Why doesn't ur h like them

Posts: 1342 | Registered: Jan 2010
BeyondBreaking
Member
Member # 38020
Default  Posted: 3:32 PM, July 30th (Tuesday)

I'm not a huge fan of tattoos.

STBH has six of them.

It's his body, he can put what he wants to on it, so long as it isn't offensive to me (if he were to get like a naked woman or someone else's name tattooed onto himself, I would have a fit), he can do what he wants to.

I love him, and that includes the tattoos even though they aren't my favorite. I'm sure he doesn't love my strech marks, or my c-section scar, but I'm more than that. So is he.


I have been cheated on by 3 different men, and I have more DDays than anyone ever should. I am here, just trying to pickup the pieces.

At least the current man "only" cyber-cheated.

"Love means never having to say you're sorry."


Posts: 840 | Registered: Jan 2013
libertyrocks
Member
Member # 38924
Default  Posted: 3:33 PM, July 30th (Tuesday)

He's a conservative, sports, hip-hop kind a guy who went to an all boys catholic school. And I grew up in a house listening to classic rock with brothers/dad who like trucks, cars, racing, fixing cars, racing cars, riding atc's/motorcycles, bajas, etc. We're so different.


Me-BW 36. STBXH-35,Recovering Alcoholic, M6yrs T13. Boys 2 & 4 1/2.
DDay #1 Nov,2012. 1 1/2 year false R & TT. 10 OW PA's 1LTA (W lied to) 3 years.
S Nov, 2013 again Jan,2014
Filed for D Feb,2014.

Posts: 962 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: So Cal, baby. :)
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 3:38 PM, July 30th (Tuesday)

I have 2, and I would get them again.

One is a classic Tramp stamp. It's a dolphin.

The other is a set of paw prints that go up over my shoulder. My dogs are my babies.

I would love to get more, and I'm a pretty conservative accountant in a very conservative family, also in a very conservative position at work.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7506 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
libertyrocks
Member
Member # 38924
Default  Posted: 3:47 PM, July 30th (Tuesday)

YEAAAAA! Willie's mom. I like you, lady. :)


Me-BW 36. STBXH-35,Recovering Alcoholic, M6yrs T13. Boys 2 & 4 1/2.
DDay #1 Nov,2012. 1 1/2 year false R & TT. 10 OW PA's 1LTA (W lied to) 3 years.
S Nov, 2013 again Jan,2014
Filed for D Feb,2014.

Posts: 962 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: So Cal, baby. :)
TattoodChinaDoll
Member
Member # 34602
Default  Posted: 4:19 PM, July 30th (Tuesday)

I obviously have a lot. But I definitely think this is something to seriously have a sit down with your husband about. It is your body. And I'd want to set boundaries regarding his reaction and treatment of you if you got one.


Me (BW): 32
WH: 33 TimeToManUp
Married: 11 years, together 16 years
3 daughters: 9, 5, 2, and and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011

Posts: 1718 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
Holly-Isis
Member
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 5:09 PM, July 30th (Tuesday)

MrH was always against it. Saying things like it would ruin my beautiful skin after d-day I had some crazy ideas of how I wanted to mark what I went through.

Nearly two years after d-day, while visiting family, I got a tat, symbolic for me.

Now MrH thinks it's hot. If he didn't...still wouldn't care, it's my rite of passage.


"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

Posts: 11098 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Just a fool in limbo
Crescita
Member
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 5:23 PM, July 30th (Tuesday)

When I cook, I make what I want to eat with consideration for what my SO likes. If I give him choices, it is within what I am willing to make, and I have to respect his responses. He doesnít get to veto what I have already planned (he isnít cooking), and I donít get to over rule him (why bother asking if Iím just going to do what I want?)

So as this relates to your question, if you know what you want, and where you want it, just let him know out of courtesy but be clear you arenít asking permission. If you are at all flexible, and would like to keep his preferences in mind, maybe let him know you plan to get one and see if he has any opinion on what/where. You might even try a temporary/henna tattoo, so you can familiarize the idea.


Posts: 3323 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
TattoodChinaDoll
Member
Member # 34602
Default  Posted: 5:57 PM, July 30th (Tuesday)

^^^ great analogy and idea


But you can also use this as a great opportunity to prank your husband and get someone to draw a giant unicorn farting rainbows as it humps an aardvark who is eating a taco on your chest and then tell him you have a surprise for him.


Me (BW): 32
WH: 33 TimeToManUp
Married: 11 years, together 16 years
3 daughters: 9, 5, 2, and and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011

Posts: 1718 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
Sal1995
Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 6:08 PM, July 30th (Tuesday)

I want some tattoos, but my H doesn't like them. Would you still get them?

I'd at least have a serious talk with him before taking the plunge. For many men (and women too, I suspect), tattoos are a big turn off. It's a matter of personal taste.


Me-45
WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 9-10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, together 19+
4 children

Reconciling


Posts: 1348 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
Skan
Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 11:29 PM, July 30th (Tuesday)

But you can also use this as a great opportunity to prank your husband and get someone to draw a giant unicorn farting rainbows as it humps an aardvark who is eating a taco on your chest and then tell him you have a surprise for him.

Cue the spitting of half-chewed peanut M&Ms on the keyboard. I just read this to my FWH and we both started cracking up. He says, go ahead and put that temp tatu on, and once your SO picks himself off of the floor, he''ll probably agree to ANYTHING else other than that one!

BTW, I have a lovely leg band with a Hono (turtle). Waited for over 50 years to get one and by gum, it''s a keeper! Surprised my FWH with it too.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4677 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Bobbi_sue
Member
Member # 10347
Default  Posted: 2:05 AM, July 31st (Wednesday)

For many men (and women too, I suspect), tattoos are a big turn off.

My H does not like them on women. Yes, he is "old school" and yes that is sexist. I actually love my H would not purposely put something on my body that would remind my H every time he saw it, that I would do something like that, knowing how he felt about it, and knowing it would be a turn off to him.

But I don't like tattoos on men, either and he knows it. He and I both feel that doing something like that, knowing the other would not like it, is not a very loving thing to do.

My H and I ride motorcycles with a group of friends who, like most bikers, have plenty of tattoos. We take a lot of teasing about not getting them but we really don't let that bother us.

[This message edited by Bobbi_sue at 2:06 AM, July 31st (Wednesday)]


Posts: 5715 | Registered: Apr 2006
Undefinabl3
Member
Member # 36883
Default  Posted: 6:56 AM, July 31st (Wednesday)

Honestly i think you just need to decide how important they are to you, and if you are willing to accept his actions/reaction after you get them.

Personally, I love tattoos, and love my husband's tattoos - as long as they are tasteful. White power and other gang crap, nakid ladies doing naught stuff and other tat's that are just in bad taste, no, not for me.

If DH didnt like my tattoos, i would just let him know that they were there before him - I am not removing them....but I wouldn't get anymore out of love and respect for him. I love them, but its not a hill i am willing to die on.

However, we both have 3 tat's that we need to get, so at some point we will be having a couples tat session...it should be fun


Me: 31 MH
Him: 37 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit

Posts: 1698 | Registered: Sep 2012
itainteasy
Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 8:52 AM, July 31st (Wednesday)

I have two tats and will likely get more. My fiance has no tats and no plans to get one.

They're not for him. He doesn't mind mine though, and he says "It's your body, you do what you want with it".


Posts: 3353 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
jennie160
Member
Member # 29949
Default  Posted: 9:32 AM, July 31st (Wednesday)

I share Crescita view on this.

let him know out of courtesy but be clear you arenít asking permission

It's my body and I will do with it as I choose.

I always wanted a tattoo but my controlling XH didn't like them, so it wasn't an option. After I left I started working on a design for one, had it all drawn up and a placement chosen. But never could bring myself to get it done, I'm a bit of a minimalist and after the divorce I struggle doing anything permanent. But it has been my choice to not get it done yet, no one elses.


Posts: 921 | Registered: Oct 2010
TattoodChinaDoll
Member
Member # 34602
Default  Posted: 9:51 AM, July 31st (Wednesday)

I'm telling you all...we need a g2g at a tattoo shop. Maybe we'd get discounts.


Me (BW): 32
WH: 33 TimeToManUp
Married: 11 years, together 16 years
3 daughters: 9, 5, 2, and and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011

Posts: 1718 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
LadyQ
Member
Member # 32847
Default  Posted: 10:17 AM, July 31st (Wednesday)

Lol @ Tattoedchinadoll!

I got my tattoo during our false reconciliation. I wouldn't change it for the world. It's a Celtic cross inside a circle with a date beneath it. The date signifies the day I chose to take control of my future and the cross arms represented my kids and now xh. The circle was the connection of our family. Even though I'm divorced now, I still love the symbolism of the art I chose.


Tune out the noise of what others tell you about who you are and work it out for yourself...

Posts: 1650 | Registered: Jul 2011
LadyQ
Member
Member # 32847
Default  Posted: 10:21 AM, July 31st (Wednesday)

Well, I guess I should answer your question ! If I was in a long-term relationship with someone who was adamantly opposed to tattoos, I wouldn't get one, out of respect for his wishes. But I'm not the type who "loves" tattoos. I could actually take them or leave them. The one I got is a permanent reminder to me of who I was, who I am and who I want to be. But I don't know that I would get another.


Tune out the noise of what others tell you about who you are and work it out for yourself...

Posts: 1650 | Registered: Jul 2011
Topic Posts: 19