Grieving what I thought I had was the hardest part for me the first year or so. Accepting that it wasn't what I thought I had and that what it really was wasn't enough, makes it better but still sad.
I like my men on the chunky side but not in that bloated, "I drink too much" / fat arse snoring on the couch chunky.
I remember being told I 'changed' when I became a mum. My first thought was "yeah - and you didn't, that was kind of the problem". My second thought was "When I actually HAD a baby I realised what a fucking child you were".
I never looked better after kids. I was slimmer, I BF for 2 years so wasn't drinking etc. He still cheated.
Its not the weight or even us becoming mothers. It real life they don't like. Nothing 'realer' than a baby.
Ironic that the sad clown always wanted kids whereas I never really had the urge - turns out he's shit at it and I'm a natural.