SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
New Beginnings
User Topic: Saw old pictures of ex, yuk!
dindy
Member
Member # 38424
Default  Posted: 3:56 PM, July 30th (Tuesday)

I was deleting old photos off my laptop and came across a few of ex I'd not seen in ages. What makes me laugh is that ex apparently fell out of love with me for becoming a mother. Sure I put on weight and our relationship took a back seat due to parenthood. But, when I see him in those pictures I just think "look how fat you were, and you weren't even pregnant!'

I don't hardly feel any longing for him now. I do grieve the person he was and the relationship I thought we had and our future as a family but they are no longer real.

Other women are welcome to this little sweaty, gangly boy who just happens to be my children's father!


Posts: 459 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: uk
better4me
Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 4:53 PM, July 30th (Tuesday)

What makes me laugh is that ex apparently fell out of love with me for becoming a mother.
I would say that he didn't really understand what love was, did he?

Grieving what I thought I had was the hardest part for me the first year or so. Accepting that it wasn't what I thought I had and that what it really was wasn't enough, makes it better but still sad.


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3090 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
dindy
Member
Member # 38424
Default  Posted: 4:45 AM, July 31st (Wednesday)

Yes you're right better4me, I don't think he understood what love was. Not do I ever believe that he will ever understand.

Posts: 459 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: uk
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 5:13 AM, July 31st (Wednesday)

Grieving what I thought I had was the hardest part for me the first year or so. Accepting that it wasn't what I thought I had and that what it really was wasn't enough, makes it better but still sad.

^^Yep!

I like my men on the chunky side but not in that bloated, "I drink too much" / fat arse snoring on the couch chunky.

I remember being told I 'changed' when I became a mum. My first thought was "yeah - and you didn't, that was kind of the problem". My second thought was "When I actually HAD a baby I realised what a fucking child you were".

I never looked better after kids. I was slimmer, I BF for 2 years so wasn't drinking etc. He still cheated.

Its not the weight or even us becoming mothers. It real life they don't like. Nothing 'realer' than a baby.

Ironic that the sad clown always wanted kids whereas I never really had the urge - turns out he's shit at it and I'm a natural.


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5533 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
BrokenDaisy
Member
Member # 37063
Default  Posted: 5:18 AM, July 31st (Wednesday)

Grieving what I thought I had was the hardest part for me the first year or so. Accepting that it wasn't what I thought I had and that what it really was wasn't enough, makes it better but still sad.

This!! As soon as I wrapped my head around the fact that it wasn't what I thought it was I could file for divorce. I'm not out of the woods yet but at least I know I am heading in the right direction.

My stbx also said I "disgusted" him when I was pregnant. (With his son that we took years of infertility treatments to conceive) I am very active and fit and skinny, I think I looked pretty good for a pregnant woman. He was also always overweight, not obese but much more meat than I had (even when pregnant) but I didn't care, I loved him as he were. Silly me thought he'd feel the same about me. They enjoy pointing out our "flaws" and never see their own. I agree what do they know about love!?

(Sorry ended up venting in your thread)


Me BxW, him SA NPD WxH
1 wonderful toddler - sole legal custody to me and supervised visitation to xwh.
DDay 01/2012
10/2013 Divorced!!

Posts: 245 | Registered: Oct 2012
Vulcanized
Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 6:29 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)

Yay!!!


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 738 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
PhoenixRisen
Member
Member # 35912
Default  Posted: 8:14 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)

waiving hand

Seems like a general theme: cheaters find any physical fault with their wives bodies to justify their immoral behavior

lets compare these two "crimes"

gaining weight when pg vs committing adultery

hmmm that is a tough call


Posts: 475 | Registered: Jun 2012
dindy
Member
Member # 38424
Default  Posted: 1:25 AM, August 1st (Thursday)

Yep any excuse really to hide the fact that they are not mature enough to be a parent and accept us, warts and all.

I keep having dreams where OW is pregnant by ex. Not nice! I suppose the fact that I haven't been told much of the details or given a timeline just creates all sorts in my head.

Having a tough week, need to snap out of it for the sake of my children.
:(


Posts: 459 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: uk
Topic Posts: 8