User Topic: Question about out of pocket expenses
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 10:38 PM, July 30th (Tuesday)

My XH is supposed to pay a portion of the kids out of pocket medical expenses. He's also supposed to keep his address current so I know where to send them.

I have no idea where he lives nor do I have a phone number for him. He doesn't respond to emails. I found him on Facebook, sent a message to him and now I am blocked.

I have his parents phone number and address. He supposedly lives there but I have confirmation that he doesn't actually live there now. He hasn't for a while.

I have been sending him copies of the receipts for the medical expenses to his parents house, certified mail of course. I even add restricted delivery so he is forced to sign for the letters.

The letters end up back at the post office and he never picks them up. Then they come back to me.

Should I keep sending these to his parents house knowing he is never going to pay them and he is never going to get them?

I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.

Posts: 4788 | Registered: Feb 2008
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 10:54 PM, July 30th (Tuesday)

If you have a judgment stating he has to pay, then can you get a court date and petition the court to, I dunno, force him to pay up? Or something? You have all the documentation to show you're trying, right? Would this be something for the department that collects for child support?

Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011

Posts: 9828 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 11:04 PM, July 30th (Tuesday)

First of all, what a DOUCHE!

You pay for certified mail right? I would stop doing that. I would mail a copy to his parents and if they throw it away.... NOT your problem.

I would also send an electronic copy via the email address that you had.

If he thinks that ignoring your email, changing his address and acting like a fucking ostrich keeps him from being responsible for his court ordered half of expenses, then when it got to be $1000 I would take his ass to court for contempt, his half of expenses and court costs, including your L.

(((hugs))) to you for having to deal with an idiot loser.

Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5861 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 11:57 PM, July 30th (Tuesday)

I have enough documentation. He hasn't paid so much as a penny in over 5 years. It's well over a $1000.

Think what I might do is send him one more certified letter to his parents house. Say something about him not living there in a letter and inform him from now on that I will be emailing him all out of pocket expenses.

If he ignores the letter than that's his problem.

I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.

Posts: 4788 | Registered: Feb 2008
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 4:24 AM, July 31st (Wednesday)

After 5 years, just file. Seriously, if he hasn't stepped up after 5 years, he's likely not to do so now.

File for court costs and attorney fees also. In many divorce decrees, there is language in there that outlines that the party found in contempt (and he will be found in contempt) pays all attorney fees (including yours) and court costs.

I would also include the address issue in the motion because that, too, is contempt.

I am somewhat of an expert in complaints for contempt--I have had to file 4 in less than 6 years.


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29667 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 5:49 AM, July 31st (Wednesday)

Yup...get your lawyer involved. That is ridiculous.

me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings

Posts: 4186 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
Member # 28851
Default  Posted: 10:46 AM, July 31st (Wednesday)

I have a friend whose ex husband refused to respond to the receipts she gave him for out of pocket medical expenses, and she just sent it to the state child support office with copies of the receipts and dates of when she sent them. They garnished his wages for his 50% of the expenses in addition to his child support. She didn't even have to pay for a lawyer to get involved.

Good luck!

[This message edited by hoya96 at 10:47 AM, July 31st (Wednesday)]

Me: 40 and fabulous!
3 children ages 10, 12 and 14
Ex said he wanted separation 2/14/10
DDay #1: 5/23/10 18 month affair with his 22 yr old paralegal
DDay #2 9/22/10 my best friend, now his wife
Divorced: 12/10/10
Re-married a wonderful man.

Posts: 329 | Registered: Jun 2010
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 12:04 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)

I'm going to see if my state will do that with the out of pocket expenses. I know they will garnish for ongoing medical.

That may be the way to go if it won't cost anything.

I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.

Posts: 4788 | Registered: Feb 2008
Topic Posts: 8