User Topic: We should file
Member # 39214
Default  Posted: 11:26 AM, July 31st (Wednesday)

It kills me I don't want us to end he made that choice to step out all on his own .... So did all the other WS that's what they should get why should they go on and have us after it all ...... This is what bothers me so much because I want us still and so does he but he got to have this indiscretion without losing it all it unfair I wish I could choose not to love him but its no option I'm here left in my sorrow .

Yesterday I cried .....I could hear my own heart ache echo through the house I cried so hard I had to lean over and keep my heart from falling out and I'm sure my neighbor heard my horrible screaming cry.
I just wanted to not be there in my body at that moment



Posts: 278 | Registered: May 2013
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 11:29 AM, July 31st (Wednesday)


BS 40
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2647 | Registered: Aug 2012
Member # 8291
Default  Posted: 11:29 AM, July 31st (Wednesday)

huRtZ413 I am going to pm you today. Most of us know exactly what you are going through. I am a long timer and I will try to give you the best advice I can.

Posts: 2465 | Registered: Sep 2005
Member # 39830
Default  Posted: 11:57 AM, July 31st (Wednesday)

huRtZ I am there with you in the anguish and pain, that fathomless abyss of agony. I know it so well, even after less than a month.

I wish I could stop loving my wife, who my wife was, the girl I met and I married and cherished above all. But now it seems like she has all the power, even though I'm the one who was cheated on.

I feel lost, and crushed, and disposable. So I am right there with you. If I lived near you I would bring you hot tea and give you a big hug, and that would help me too.

Posts: 224 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Vancouver, Canada
Member # 37741
Default  Posted: 12:00 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)

I can't tell you how much I relate to your words... Truly wish that I could help more but I want you to know that you are not alone, you are heard and understood. Thinking of you today...

BW: sparrow 34
WH: 45 SA(regretswhatidid)
DDays: 9/3/12 ,9/10/12 ,9/12/12 ,10/01/12 ,12/03/12,more TT same events 2/24/12
3x ONS= 2CL hook-ups,1 on TDY
46 Craigslist Ads, AFF, chatrooms,
4EA w/past partners
4 kids

Posts: 62 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Virginia
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 12:01 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)


Posts: 7635 | Registered: Dec 2010
Member # 39670
Default  Posted: 12:08 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)

I totally relate. I feel the *only* justice in this situation is to divorce him. But I have kids and I have to decide if my need for justice is more than their need for me to go to the mat for this marriage. I'm still here for them.

Me, BW forty something, DD & DS,
Married to WH (49) 11 years, together 16
D-Day 6.8.13

Posts: 620 | Registered: Jun 2013
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 12:36 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)

So sorry, Hurtz,

I have been there as well--that deep wracking wailing pain.

So many chances were offered. We begged, changed, opened ourselves again and again in the name of saving our family. But they made their choices and left us with none.

It is they who divorced us. That is how I am choosing to frame this.

Strength to you.

Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

Posts: 1647 | Registered: Dec 2012
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 12:46 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)


Me - 42
SorryInSac (WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Stick a fork in me...

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity.

Posts: 6588 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 2:21 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)

I just wanted to not be there in my body at that moment

I feel like this so often.

(((huRtZ413))) you are not alone. I know it feels like we are but were not. I know there are days (and I have a lot of them still) That the pain and sorrow are so strong that I often will feel like doing ANYTHING to get away from it.

I try not to resort to bad coping mechanisms, but I sometimes do and it is scary.

Maybe you can take a break from life and treat yourself to something nice today!

[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 2:22 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)]

BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
Final Dday 7/11/14 Affair never ended

Posts: 2266 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
Topic Posts: 10