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User Topic: Questions for BS and WS
regret75
New Member
Member # 40117
Default  Posted: 11:31 AM, July 31st (Wednesday)

In the last 24 hours I have really come to understand by everything I've read how bad my 'trickle truth' lying scenario was.

The damage done to my BS is enormous. I am beginning to feel like I can put away my own guilt and shame so I can focus on her and not me - I understand now I need to be there for her pain. I am seeing for the first time how truly and deeply she has been traumatized by my actions.

My question is this - when she is yelling at me about the A and other things (like she hates my friends and family, etc - all things she has yelled at me for in the past since the beginning of my A coming to light) how do I react?

I am trying to not repeat myself with the same words we have had in the past - do I just sit there and accept her yelling at me until she gets it out? Does she want me to fight with her? I have been just taking it and trying to hug her and console her when she calms down - and I have no problem doing that - I just don't know if I am doing the right thing for her...I guess I'm saying I don't know what she wants from me at this raw stage. I don't want to make any more mistakes. What helped other BS? What can I do as the WS to maximize anything at all that might help her? Thanks for reading this. I am so grateful I found this site to help me save my marriage.


FWH - me 40ish
BS - her 40ish
bunch of kids
Married 10 years
D-Day: 10/2012 & 7/29/13
NC 7/2012

Posts: 17 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: the midwest is best
tryingmybest2011
Member
Member # 32584
Default  Posted: 11:43 AM, July 31st (Wednesday)

She most likely wants you to just be there and witness her pain and the injustice of it all. As for what to say and do while she's yelling... try to listen to what she's saying, even thought that can be really difficult when delivered with overwhelming anger and decibels. Try to initiate a conversation later when you are both calm about the things she's saying about the A, and your friends and family. Perhaps then you can resolve some of the issues, and they won't be part of the next pain explosion.

What has happened in the last 24 hours that has caused you to understand the trauma?


BS: me - 37
WH: him - 37
DD: 8
DD: 11 mos

Married over 9 years, together for 18.

DD#1: 12/12/10 - LTA of 3 years, 2 mos.
DD#2: 02/02/11 - 2 EA/PA with coworkers, a month after the LTA was ended (by OW).

In limbo.


Posts: 321 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Ontario Canada
SisterMilkshake
Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 11:46 AM, July 31st (Wednesday)

It is hard to say exactly what your BS wants/expects from you at those times, regret75, as we are all different.

I will share with you what I needed at those times I was raging at my FWH. I needed him to look at me, listen intently, and say "I am listening" if he felt he needed to say something. Do not say (as my FWH foolishly said) "I will leave if you want me to".

After I finished my rage, vent, tantrum whatever it was, I would have liked him to say "I am sorry I have caused you all this pain". I would have appreciated my FWH asking me what I needed from him. If he asked "Do you want a hug?" or "Is there anything you would like me to do for you right this minute?" after I had calmed down. Unfortunately, sometimes I would say something snarky like "Unfuck the donkey". Again, if he would just say "I am so sorry you are hurting so bad and that I have caused it" in response to my snark, it would go along way in diffusing me.

It is just validating our feelings that most of us want. My take anyway.

I am happy that you are posting and asking what you can do to help your hurting BW.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9408 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
ItsaClimb
Member
Member # 37107
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, July 31st (Wednesday)

This is a tough question, something my fWS and I still grapple with nearly a year down the line. It is SO hard to know how to handle the rage-filled, furious, hysterical moments that characterise the first few (sometimes quite a few!) months after D-Day.

Basically, when I am filled with anger and rage, I DON'T want my fWH to be trying to pacify me, I DON'T want him to be suggesting things to "help" me, I DON'T want him to be arguing back, I DON'T want him to be pointing out his good points and what he is doing right, I DON'T want him to be telling me to "look to the future, put the past behind us", I don't want sarcasm, arrogance, defensiveness or sugar-coating and I don't want his criticism.

What I DO want is:
* for him to validate my feelings - saying things like "I can understand why you feel like this, I deserve your anger, what I did was hideous, I am SO sorry that I (insert whatever I am raging about), I can see how that has hurt you and I will NEVER do that again."
* I want him to appear to be saddened by what he has done - this is BIG for me, I need to see that my husband is heart-broken and saddened by what he has done, this is not a time for him to be all stiff-upper-lip-ish.
* I need him to ASK before trying to cuddle me - sometimes I want hugs, other times I don't want him within a mile of me, so he needs to say "would it be okay for me to hug you now?" (sounds crazy, but then a lot of this is crazy!)
* sometimes I need him to walk away. When my anger is really getting ugly and out of control (like for example when I throw a coffee mug against the wall...doesn't happen anymore, but it DID happen. Often. Unfortunately.) I need him to sometimes be the mature, sane adult and say nicely "I think we need a time out, I am going to go and sit in the other room and we can talk about this again later, when our emotions have calmed down"
* I need him to understand about the roller-coaster. My emotions are sometimes up (reconciliation seems SO easy!) and sometimes down (I could NEVER even entertain the thought of being with this man ever again!) This is crazy making for BOTH of us... honestly, the BS suffers with this roller-coaster... I need my fWH to understand that and to be sympathetic instead of judgemental when I do a complete 360 degree overnight. It's humiliating and I need him to GET IT.

Can't think of anything else right now... but that's a start

Please understand that I am not suggesting that the BS gets a "free pass" for outrageous behaviour from here on out. And actual abuse is never an option. BUT I think the WS needs to try to be understanding and non-judgemental for at least a time. The BS has genuinely suffered a trauma. Our behaviour can look pretty "way-out" for a while. I said and did some really wacky things back in the early days. Try to be patient, kind, loving and understanding...

But also realise that you are probably going to stuff-up now and then... cut yourself some slack too.


BS 46
Together 29 yrs, M 25 years
2 daughters 24yo(married with a brand new little daughter) & 19yo
D-Day 18 Aug 2012
6mth EA lead to 4mth PA with CO-W. I found out 8 1/2 yrs later

Posts: 911 | Registered: Oct 2012
regret75
New Member
Member # 40117
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, July 31st (Wednesday)

tryingmybest2011: In the last 24 hours I have been reading everything I can about what I have done - between this site, other net resources, and a book I bought that someone on here recommended 'How to help your spouse heal from your affair'

sistermilkshake:
I am saying those things you wrote so that makes me feel better that you shared that - thank you - I did however also say the 'i will leave if you want me to' - shit. We even talked about it this morning because she doesn't know what she wants or how she feels about me right now. When I talked with her about it this morning I told her if I left I would still be working on fixing us. I would just give her the space she needs if she even needs it. I told her I would be in constant contact with her letting her know where I was - telling her every detail to put any further suspicions at ease - and just basically keep fighting. I have also been telling her I love her and she can't say it back. I told her that it is understandable and I am fine with it, but I'm going to keep saying it to her regardless of her response or lack thereof.

This is so awful for her.


FWH - me 40ish
BS - her 40ish
bunch of kids
Married 10 years
D-Day: 10/2012 & 7/29/13
NC 7/2012

Posts: 17 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: the midwest is best
regret75
New Member
Member # 40117
Default  Posted: 12:09 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)

* sometimes I need him to walk away. When my anger is really getting ugly and out of control (like for example when I throw a coffee mug against the wall...doesn't happen anymore, but it DID happen. Often. Unfortunately.) I need him to sometimes be the mature, sane adult and say nicely "I think we need a time out, I am going to go and sit in the other room and we can talk about this again later, when our emotions have calmed down"

ItsaClimb - this doesn't piss you off more and come across as condescending? I have felt like doing this exact sort of thing when things are really bad and I feel like none of it's healthy. But I'm worried she will take it as me trying to 'get out of' talking to her about everything.


FWH - me 40ish
BS - her 40ish
bunch of kids
Married 10 years
D-Day: 10/2012 & 7/29/13
NC 7/2012

Posts: 17 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: the midwest is best
SisterMilkshake
Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 12:20 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)

One of the big take aways FWH and I have gotten out of this nightmare of infidelity is that we actually talk to each other now. And, another biggie, listen.

FWH thought he was a mind reader and expected me to be one, too. I didn't share what I needed from my FWH because I felt he worked so hard for us and was so stressed out, I didn't want to put anything else on his plate.

What we have learned is we need to spell it out exactly what we want and need from each other.

How about asking your BW, before any big blow up, what she needs from you when she is having a breakdown of some sorts?

p.s. yes, my FWH walking away from me when I was having a meltdown would make me angrier and more hurt, but we are all different. I never threw stuff, though. Or hit. Wanted to punch him square in the face whilst he slept many times, but never did.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9408 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
regret75
New Member
Member # 40117
Default  Posted: 12:20 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)

Oh also - I have been referring to all the abbreviations trying to keep up and understand - but what does it mean when someone puts an 'f' in front of WS or WH? I'm not the brightest crayon in the box - thanks.


FWH - me 40ish
BS - her 40ish
bunch of kids
Married 10 years
D-Day: 10/2012 & 7/29/13
NC 7/2012

Posts: 17 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: the midwest is best
regret75
New Member
Member # 40117
Wink  Posted: 12:23 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)

I am usually pretty sure my teeny tiny BW is gonna wallop me everytime she gets pissed about this. It's actually only happened a couple times and I get it - but she's a tough little shit and it's not fun when she does - (I say this out of levity - in no way am I implying that I'm being abused)


FWH - me 40ish
BS - her 40ish
bunch of kids
Married 10 years
D-Day: 10/2012 & 7/29/13
NC 7/2012

Posts: 17 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: the midwest is best
SisterMilkshake
Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 12:23 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)

Sorry, regret, it means Former Wayward/Spouse/Husband/Wife.

It is hard at first with all the abbreviations, don't be afraid to ask, you aren't dumb, you will catch on sooner than you think, but sometimes there are some that still have me scratching my head.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9408 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
regret75
New Member
Member # 40117
Default  Posted: 12:24 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)

Thanks Sister! I hope I can earn the distinction as 'formerly wayward' in her eyes.


FWH - me 40ish
BS - her 40ish
bunch of kids
Married 10 years
D-Day: 10/2012 & 7/29/13
NC 7/2012

Posts: 17 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: the midwest is best
ItsaClimb
Member
Member # 37107
Default  Posted: 12:37 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)

ItsaClimb - this doesn't piss you off more and come across as condescending?

This is such a tough one - yes, it does piss me off when he does it at the time but afterwards, when I have calmed down, I am glad he did it. I find that when I get so enraged, it actually gets to a point when it is destructive (not only the coffee mugs, but emotionally too!!) and at that point one of us needs to call it quits and generally I am too upset and out of control to see that it is time for that, so fWH is generally the one to do it.

Also, a lot depends on the tone of voice he uses when he does it. If he does it in a patronising or arrogant way..... red rag to a bull!! Not pretty. But if he speaks in a nice, matter-of-fact tone, I can generally cope with it. I might say something snippy like "Fine, whatever, run away..." but when I have calmed down I appreciate it.

It helps to actually speak about stuff like this when you are both calm and collected.. sort of plan for the bad times. Talk about what works, what doesn't and have a game plan, so that next time things get ugly you kind of know what to expect. That really works for us. It's taken us MONTHS to fine-tune it, but at this point, our bad days aren't spiralling out of control anymore.

Hang in there and keep that positive attitude!


BS 46
Together 29 yrs, M 25 years
2 daughters 24yo(married with a brand new little daughter) & 19yo
D-Day 18 Aug 2012
6mth EA lead to 4mth PA with CO-W. I found out 8 1/2 yrs later

Posts: 911 | Registered: Oct 2012
regret75
New Member
Member # 40117
Default  Posted: 12:42 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)

Gotcha - that definitely clears that part up for me. Thank you so much for sharing with me.


FWH - me 40ish
BS - her 40ish
bunch of kids
Married 10 years
D-Day: 10/2012 & 7/29/13
NC 7/2012

Posts: 17 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: the midwest is best
SoVerySadNow
Member
Member # 36711
Default  Posted: 2:30 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)

Well, I agree with Sister about wanting WH to unfuck the donkey- and I tell him that. Loudly. So many Betrayeds want that beyond all.

Since that's impossible, I have to move on to the things that Itsa wrote. Those hit it on the head.
I do differ just on the point about suggesting a time out.
I don't get to take a time out from the nightmare in my head, so it's hard to take one when I'm in a downward spiral of loathing what has become my reality.
If it becomes necessary for physical safety to put space between myself and WH (say for example, if I'm cleaving meat for the freezer and he's nearby during an argument) then I would also want him to come to me in a bit and request the discussion continue if I'm ready. I hate feeling like I have to chase him down for working things through- probably because I so often do have to.

Be proactive. Be there. Know you are witnessing great pain showing itself in many ways.


Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

Posts: 1280 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Sunny Florida
Schilling
Member
Member # 39774
Default  Posted: 3:11 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)

I know I am often looking for Comfort, Love, Remorse, A hug, a hand hold.. to see him fight for me and this relationship.

But these are not things I get from him on his own..or even often.

Everyone is different. You are trying. The pain runs long and deep for some, but keep fighting for your partner.


I am 26(Bgf). He is 36 (Wbf).
On Again, Off Again - 10 years.
Not Married. No Kids.
D-Day: Too many to list/ remember.
Trying to Reconcile.

Posts: 103 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: San Francisco
Lonelygirl10
Member
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 3:55 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)

I am trying to not repeat myself with the same words we have had in the past - do I just sit there and accept her yelling at me until she gets it out? Does she want me to fight with her? I have been just taking it and trying to hug her and console her when she calms down - and I have no problem doing that - I just don't know if I am doing the right thing for her...I guess I'm saying I don't know what she wants from me at this raw stage. I don't want to make any more mistakes. What helped other BS? What can I do as the WS to maximize anything at all that might help her? Thanks for reading this. I am so grateful I found this site to help me save my marriage.

I think that everyone is different, and everyone needs different things depending on their personalities. I will share with you what I want.

*I want him to sit there and listen to me rant and rave until I'm finished
*I want him to hug me, and say that he's sorry. A real apology. One that shows that he understands how I'm feeling
*I want him to say that he would feel the same way if it was reversed. I want him to validate my feelings.
*I want him to stay with me. Don't leave the room. I want him to follow me if I leave the room.

Here are the things that make it worse for me:

*If he looks upset or annoyed at me. I know his looks, and what they mean. One of his bad looks will set me off worse.
*If he pulls away or stops touching me
*If he says that he's tolerating my moods or feelings to try to make us better. Tolerating is not a good word to use.
*If he says anything defensive at all
*If he brings up any of my past mistakes to show that I'm not perfect myself
*If he asks if I want space. No, I don't want space. He gave me way too much space when he was with OW. I want him by my side now.
*If he asks me something like "don't you see I'm trying". Even if I do see he's trying, I don't care about trying to soothe his feelings at that moment. All I care about is my pain.
*I don't want to hear general statements about how I'm the love of his life or the only person he wants. They make me more angry
*I don't want him to say "You know I only want you." No, I don't know that.

So, there's some of the things that help me and hurt me. I would suggest talking to your BS and getting a list of the things that help and hurt her. Maybe even have her write it down, because that may be easier than talking to you about it.


29 Bgf
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014

Posts: 1044 | Registered: Jul 2013
TxsT
Member
Member # 39996
Default  Posted: 7:08 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)

Regret...

I am a BS and I am almost 11 months out from Dday. I needed to post to your question because I completely empathize and understand your dilemma. First, let me start by saying my WS and I had the exact same problem earlier on in our R. He has been extremely remorseful, shamed and as helpful as any BS could ask for. Dday came in the waning stages of his affair and he had already had a long time to think about just how wrong his actions were. He was in his own world of hurt and shame.

Once the initial fog wore off and we had started to honestly move towards starting R we ran into the same road block of sounding like a broken record when we fought. In our case too, many of the same issues pooped their ugly head up and too many of our fights ended badly. Thankfully, though, we were both in IC and MC and we turned to our therapist for help. He explained to us that the reason for the broken record is that neither of us was truly listening to each other or able to properly communicate what our needs or feelings were. He helped us explore the methods of our individual communications and then helped us see how our childhood walls and coping mechanisms were basically counter acting each others efforts at communicating. When my husband talked to me he made me feel like he was my domineering and verbally abusive father who told me I was worthless and my constant recording of the past was to my husband sounding like his narcissistic father telling him what to do. This was an eye opening revelation for the two of us!!!!! Our MC then helped us explore other, healthier ways of communicating and we have incredibly moved beyond the broken record. We now talk in feels instead of blame and we have each other regurgitate what we were trying to say so that we know they heard the comment the way it was meant.

This took a great deal of practice. 32 years of poor communication does not go away over night but I can attest to the fact that you can change this.

Remember, if you have heard something before the rule of thumb is either you weren't listening the first time, your spouse still doesn't think you understand what they said or you both are not communicating or listening to each other.

Keep hugging her....she deserves it but you also deserve recognition for your efforts, support and honest attempts to make this right. If you can get beyond the broken record things will be so so much better I promise

T


Me: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
Dday: 09/11/2012
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)

Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!


Posts: 605 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: CDN
hopefulmother
Member
Member # 38790
Default  Posted: 8:41 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)

As a BS, I hate it when my H just sits there.

I want him to acknowledge my feelings. Tell me when I am right. Validate what I say. Try agreeing with her and saying you are so sorry. Repeat her points and say you understand and am so sorry.


Me-BW 39
WH-39
D-day 9-4-12
Major TT 8-14
Friends for 20yrs dating since 2000
Married 9yrs with 2 toddlers
My wedding band is a symbol of hope, forgiveness, love, and grace.

Posts: 922 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: East Coast
Scubachick
Member
Member # 39906
Default  Posted: 1:50 AM, August 1st (Thursday)

When my husband catches me crying he gets himself all worked up because he feels bad and doesn't know what to do. One night he heard me laying in bed crying so he just crawled up beside me in bed and held me. He didn't even ask what was wrong. He let me cry and didn't try to stop me. He said "I know I did this to you...I hurt you badly and I'm so sorry". Another time he had just gotten to work and something the OW said to me triggered me and I went bat shit crazy on him. He had a crew of guys and they were just about to leave by boat for work. He made them all wait and he drove back home. When he walked through the door I couldn't believe it. I asked him what he was doing home and he said he could tell I was really suffering and he wanted to be there for me. He stayed for 2 hours until I calmed down. Those two things really touched me for some reason. It made me feel like he finally understood the damage he did to me.

Posts: 569 | Registered: Jul 2013
Scubachick
Member
Member # 39906
Default  Posted: 2:00 AM, August 1st (Thursday)

I told her if I left I would still be working on fixing us. I would just give her the space she needs if she even needs it. I told her I would be in constant contact with her letting her know where I was - telling her every detail to put any further suspicions at ease

If my husband said this I would think he wants to leave but doesn't want to own it, so he's trying to make it as he's doing me a favor by leaving. But that's just me and my twisted thinking.


Posts: 569 | Registered: Jul 2013
Lonelygirl10
Member
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 7:18 AM, August 1st (Thursday)

If my husband said this I would think he wants to leave but doesn't want to own it, so he's trying to make it as he's doing me a favor by leaving. But that's just me and my twisted thinking.

I agree, I would think the same thing.


29 Bgf
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014

Posts: 1044 | Registered: Jul 2013
regret75
New Member
Member # 40117
Default  Posted: 8:53 AM, August 1st (Thursday)

All of this is such useful information to me. Since I last posted things have been tough. I'm here for her and trying to convey to her that I understand what I have done. I am consoling her when she allows me to. I guess all I can do at this point is just be here and keep listening. I never wanted a fast forward button so bad in my life - and not so I can 'get out' of trouble, but so she can be released from the pain I've caused. My heart is breaking over the broken heart I gave to her. Horrible but well deserved justice for my sins - I only wish somehow that the heartache I now have could somehow take her pain away.


FWH - me 40ish
BS - her 40ish
bunch of kids
Married 10 years
D-Day: 10/2012 & 7/29/13
NC 7/2012

Posts: 17 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: the midwest is best
ItsaClimb
Member
Member # 37107
Default  Posted: 10:33 AM, August 1st (Thursday)

regret75 it takes time. I think that has been one of the most difficult thing for me to get my head around... How could I be angry for 6 full months??? Don't know, but I was! It was really, really a hideous time for both fWH and myself and we have only recently come out of it. You need to make up your mind to be in there for the long-haul...

Your BS's reactions may be totally different to mine, but ultimately it seems that all BSs go through the various stages of grief (Denial, Bargaining, Anger, Depression and Acceptance) in no particular order. They may bounce around in the various stages multiple times. The general consensus seems to be that it all takes between 2-5 years to work through. Fortunately things DO get better as time goes by.


BS 46
Together 29 yrs, M 25 years
2 daughters 24yo(married with a brand new little daughter) & 19yo
D-Day 18 Aug 2012
6mth EA lead to 4mth PA with CO-W. I found out 8 1/2 yrs later

Posts: 911 | Registered: Oct 2012
TxsT
Member
Member # 39996
Default  Posted: 4:56 PM, August 1st (Thursday)

Regret...hugs to you for wanting to hear the other side. It takes courage to look at this through a different perspective. The other night, out of the blue, I asked my WH what he would have done if the shoe was on the other foot, if it was I who had had the A. He was taken off guard by the question and asked point blank if I was ok. That made me smile but what came next made me smile more. he told me that he thought about that question often and could not even begin to give me the answer. He said he wasn't sure he would have had the same strength I have show through this whole ordeal.

I can't tell you how good that answer made me feel. I was amazed that he had even been thinking about the reverse situation. I knew he was doing so to try and figure out how to help me more then he already has. I am going to ask him that question again in the future to see if he has gotten any further but for now, just knowing that his thoughts were about me and about what he had done were a gift. It is small things like this that surprise me and they are the rewards for both of our efforts.

T


Me: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
Dday: 09/11/2012
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)

Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!


Posts: 605 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: CDN
TxsT
Member
Member # 39996
Default  Posted: 4:58 PM, August 1st (Thursday)

PS....the fast forward button isn't an option. There are no time lines on your journey because each journey is different. Just know that it sounds like you are going in the right direction....and that is coming from a BS :o)

T


Me: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
Dday: 09/11/2012
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)

Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!


Posts: 605 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: CDN
regret75
New Member
Member # 40117
Default  Posted: 8:19 AM, August 2nd (Friday)

Thank you Txst - I really and humbly appreciate it. I really do.


FWH - me 40ish
BS - her 40ish
bunch of kids
Married 10 years
D-Day: 10/2012 & 7/29/13
NC 7/2012

Posts: 17 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: the midwest is best
Topic Posts: 26