SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Reconciliation
User Topic: fWH is getting rid of his truck because of Tt
DoneWithLove
Member
Member # 39380
Default  Posted: 6:16 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)

As crappy as it is, I love that truck but I cant let him keep his A vehicle. It pisses me off because since his A, I have asked him several times if he had that OW in our truck and he kept telling me that he didn't. Yesterday, I found out that he not only had her in the truck but they messed around in it and he took her on dates in it. The truck is as good as gone, he still ows on it, but its gone. Im getting a Yukon and he gets our other vehicle. Im very happy with that, especially since before, he wanted to get rid of my car and keep his A vehicle. Its a win win for me but I deserve it, especially after what ive sacrificed for him to accomplish what he has. Now its my turn and im going to use this new found info to my advantage. I know I dont need him but I could sure use the help and support when I go back to school.

[This message edited by DoneWithLove at 7:49 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)]


BW: Me (24)
FWH: Him (24) Jlaz1988ws
Together 11/12/06
2 sons, ages 5 and 1
Married 9/29/12
EA turned PA with OW/ coworker for 2- 4 weeks
D day 4/20/13
TT 4/20/13 - 7/30/13
"R" 5/3/13

Posts: 191 | Registered: May 2013 | From: The mitten state
TxsT
Member
Member # 39996
Default  Posted: 6:34 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)

Done...the spouse of my hubby's OW has the same problem with her truck. I guess that, when they weren't rendezvousing over seas on business they would use her truck to screw around in. He has explained to me he wants to take a bat to the truck every morning when he thinks of what they did in it. I don't blame him one bit

T


Me: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
Dday: 09/11/2012
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)

Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!


Posts: 605 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: CDN
authenticnow
Moderator
Member # 16024
Red  Posted: 7:08 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)

DoneWithLove,

Please follow the Reconciliation Forum guidelines. There is no OP namecalling in this forum.

Thank you.


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 34684 | Registered: Sep 2007
DoneWithLove
Member
Member # 39380
Default  Posted: 7:48 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)

Ok, sorry.


BW: Me (24)
FWH: Him (24) Jlaz1988ws
Together 11/12/06
2 sons, ages 5 and 1
Married 9/29/12
EA turned PA with OW/ coworker for 2- 4 weeks
D day 4/20/13
TT 4/20/13 - 7/30/13
"R" 5/3/13

Posts: 191 | Registered: May 2013 | From: The mitten state
meplusfour
Member
Member # 38958
Default  Posted: 7:57 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)

My fWH traded in his truck for a new truck three weeks ago because the truck was a major trigger for me. The truck was a constant reminder that fWH would pick up the OW in his truck and then either go to her home or engage in oral sex in the truck. Frankly, fWH is lucky that the truck still existed as I had vivid fantasies of torching it.


BW (me)42
WH 44
3 daughters, 1 son
Married 10 years, together 13
DDay 3/14/2013, four year PA
In R
"Sometimes you have to accept the fact that certain things will never go back to the way they used to be."

Posts: 327 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Canada
cantaccept
Member
Member # 37451
Default  Posted: 8:38 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)

I hate h's truck and phone.

Wish we could afford to get rid of both!

He had her in his truck for dates. I hate to sit in it. I always feel nauseated and stressed.

I want to smash his phone with a hammer. I view it as the instrument of my pain.

Then the list is just so long I might as well just burn down the house!


Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.

I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013

attempted R, it was all a lie

divorcing


Posts: 1087 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Connecticut
Schilling
Member
Member # 39774
Default  Posted: 8:45 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)

cantaccept,

That is how i feel about my Wbf's phone and car. gah.


I am 26(Bgf). He is 36 (Wbf).
On Again, Off Again - 10 years.
Not Married. No Kids.
D-Day: Too many to list/ remember.
Trying to Reconcile.

Posts: 103 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: San Francisco
JustWow
Member
Member # 19636
Default  Posted: 8:49 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)

BTDT. Donated the thing to charity. Went to a worthy cause


BW - Reconciling

edited for typos (I always have to!)


Posts: 3551 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Midwest
DoneWithLove
Member
Member # 39380
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)

We are trying to move and get new phones too... Hopefully before december. I wish we had the money to do everything all at once, I would blow his stuff to smithereens, but if he wants to stay M to me, he will do it asap. He agrees too, saying that im always right so its best for him to comply. Thank you and Good luck


BW: Me (24)
FWH: Him (24) Jlaz1988ws
Together 11/12/06
2 sons, ages 5 and 1
Married 9/29/12
EA turned PA with OW/ coworker for 2- 4 weeks
D day 4/20/13
TT 4/20/13 - 7/30/13
"R" 5/3/13

Posts: 191 | Registered: May 2013 | From: The mitten state
RightTrack
Member
Member # 36976
Default  Posted: 12:12 AM, August 1st (Thursday)

WH sold his stupid truck that he drove OW around in. I remember him taking the kids' car seats out of it so he could pick up his "(LEO) partner on the way to business trips". I bought a cute little BMW with the money.

Posts: 541 | Registered: Sep 2012
DoneWithLove
Member
Member # 39380
Default  Posted: 1:19 AM, August 1st (Thursday)

Im hoping we can use it towards a new vehicle, if not, pushing it over a cliff is fine too. Im taking all of mine and my kids things out of it asap tomorrow. No more games, especially TT.


BW: Me (24)
FWH: Him (24) Jlaz1988ws
Together 11/12/06
2 sons, ages 5 and 1
Married 9/29/12
EA turned PA with OW/ coworker for 2- 4 weeks
D day 4/20/13
TT 4/20/13 - 7/30/13
"R" 5/3/13

Posts: 191 | Registered: May 2013 | From: The mitten state
sunshine226
Member
Member # 38851
Default  Posted: 6:28 AM, August 1st (Thursday)

I too want WH to get rid of the A vehicle if he ever came back.

And reading through these posts, I want him to trade it in in the city she lives, not here so that I never have the chance of seeing it all the time, and hopeful she will

But he is still with the OW so it doesnt matter, but it would be one of the conditions I would have had for R!!!!

Anything that reminded me or him of OW, would have to go!


Me-BS (44)
Him-WS (47)
DDay 1/1/2012, common law for 22 1/2 years when he began A in September 2011
Status: moving on without him

Posts: 234 | Registered: Mar 2013
rachelc
Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 6:34 AM, August 1st (Thursday)

It was a request of mine for recovery and it took him 5 months and 1 day to sell it because "he didn't know what he wanted." I almost took a baseball bat to it several times. I seriously considered taking my set of the keys and selling it myself, and buying him the Batmobile and just parking it at his office and handing him the keys to his new car.

He claimed she wasn't in there with him but VAR said she was, and I heard them making out.


his Ddays: 2/10, 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me: 47
him: 51
4 kiddos in lower 20's

“Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace."


Posts: 3634 | Registered: Dec 2010
TxsT
Member
Member # 39996
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, August 1st (Thursday)

rachelc....

Please forgive me but I have to tell you your post made me smile. You go girl!

T


Me: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
Dday: 09/11/2012
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)

Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!


Posts: 605 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: CDN
DoneWithLove
Member
Member # 39380
Default  Posted: 4:59 PM, August 1st (Thursday)

He admitted he had her in the AV, I told him I wanted him to get rid of it, preferably putting it towards a new vehicle for me, and so we are going tomorrow to see if we can do a trade in. The new vehicle will be mine and will be decked out to my liking. I told him that I feel spoiled, he said I aint seen nothing yet so I asked him what the limit is and he said being homeless. I know that'll never happend because of me. Thank you and Good luck


BW: Me (24)
FWH: Him (24) Jlaz1988ws
Together 11/12/06
2 sons, ages 5 and 1
Married 9/29/12
EA turned PA with OW/ coworker for 2- 4 weeks
D day 4/20/13
TT 4/20/13 - 7/30/13
"R" 5/3/13

Posts: 191 | Registered: May 2013 | From: The mitten state
2married2quit
Member
Member # 36555
Default  Posted: 5:33 PM, August 1st (Thursday)

I would love for my FWW to get rid of her phone and car. Both make me SICK and trigger me. Can't afford it.
:(


BS - Me 43 WS - Her 41
DDAY - June 2012 (found the texts)
DDAY2 - Next Day (found out who) EA
TT- till 9/2012 (some PA)
Married 20yrs. 2kids
Status: in careful R. Sometimes spinning our wheels

Posts: 1036 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: USA
Knowing
Member
Member # 37044
Default  Posted: 5:45 PM, August 1st (Thursday)

fWH used my car to go spend a week alone with COW. He cleaned it all up before he left. He let her drive it. I raged some when I found out but I''m over it now. It''s not about her, she could have been anyone. I still like my car a lot.


Me: BW, Him: fWH
Together 12 years
My EA (?) 2005-2011
His STA/PA: D-day: 19/09/12
TT: 08/12/12

We are in R.


Posts: 697 | Registered: Oct 2012
BeyondBreaking
Member
Member # 38020
Default  Posted: 6:00 PM, August 1st (Thursday)

I refused to ride in DD's dad's truck when I found out about all that was going on in there. It broke down a few months after we broke up, and I couldn't have been happier. I didn't want my child riding in there.

One more step towards healing. May you love your affair-free vehicles!!!


I have been cheated on by 3 different men, and I have more DDays than anyone ever should. I am here, just trying to pickup the pieces.

At least the current man "only" cyber-cheated.

"Love means never having to say you're sorry."


Posts: 809 | Registered: Jan 2013
DoneWithLove
Member
Member # 39380
Default  Posted: 6:05 PM, August 1st (Thursday)

I like this truck alot but its kind of become a turd anyways so im looking forward to getting a new well desurved vehicle. And ive never been attached any one vehicle so as long as it runs good and is big enough, im happy... Shiny is just a plus! Thank you and Good luck

[This message edited by DoneWithLove at 6:06 PM, August 1st (Thursday)]


BW: Me (24)
FWH: Him (24) Jlaz1988ws
Together 11/12/06
2 sons, ages 5 and 1
Married 9/29/12
EA turned PA with OW/ coworker for 2- 4 weeks
D day 4/20/13
TT 4/20/13 - 7/30/13
"R" 5/3/13

Posts: 191 | Registered: May 2013 | From: The mitten state
DoneWithLove
Member
Member # 39380
Default  Posted: 6:04 PM, August 3rd (Saturday)

My FWH told me that he told his atl about getting rid of his truck/ AV because of Hs A. His atl asked him if it was worth it! I cant believe someone who has never been cheated on, but flirts with female coworkers, would even have to ask if its worth it. Of course its worth it, if he wants to have a future with me, its well worth it. H told him that if I wanted him to give it away he would but I guess his atl thinks its not fair or something. Is there any wonder why none of my Hs coworkers had a problem with him having an A. I swear, if I ever own my own business, flirting, pda and any other sexual contact or demeanor will not be tolerated, unless the two are already married. I think that should be a national standard.


BW: Me (24)
FWH: Him (24) Jlaz1988ws
Together 11/12/06
2 sons, ages 5 and 1
Married 9/29/12
EA turned PA with OW/ coworker for 2- 4 weeks
D day 4/20/13
TT 4/20/13 - 7/30/13
"R" 5/3/13

Posts: 191 | Registered: May 2013 | From: The mitten state
krazy8516
Member
Member # 40076
Default  Posted: 6:16 PM, August 3rd (Saturday)

I want to smash his phone with a hammer. I view it as the instrument of my pain.

Ditto. He used to be secretive with it before I caught him... now it's glued to his pocket and I hardly ever see it. Is it bad that I want to take a hammer to it while it's still in there??


me: BW, 30
him: WH, 25
us: edging closer to R every day

married 2y, together 2.5y
1 beautiful daughter, 23m

"Someday soon, I'm going to put my life together; Win or lose, I'm starting over again."


Posts: 368 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Texas
DoneWithLove
Member
Member # 39380
Default  Posted: 6:34 PM, August 3rd (Saturday)

Lol No! I would at least smash his phone... Regardless of its location.


BW: Me (24)
FWH: Him (24) Jlaz1988ws
Together 11/12/06
2 sons, ages 5 and 1
Married 9/29/12
EA turned PA with OW/ coworker for 2- 4 weeks
D day 4/20/13
TT 4/20/13 - 7/30/13
"R" 5/3/13

Posts: 191 | Registered: May 2013 | From: The mitten state
Baldeagle
New Member
Member # 40194
Default  Posted: 6:08 PM, August 8th (Thursday)

My wife's car is a trigger for me also. I would refuse to ride inside or even touch it. I can ride in it now but I work on hiding my contempt & anger. So glad i refused to cosign her loan because when she left so did her ability to pay for it even without gambling.

She has a new phone thank god because I called her old one the "whore phone". Couldn't stand seeing or hearing it. She truly doesn't understand triggers that do not affect her.


Posts: 11 | Registered: Aug 2013
wifehad5
Moderator
Member # 15162
Default  Posted: 6:10 PM, August 8th (Thursday)

I can ride in it now but I work on hiding my contempt & anger.

Why hide it?


FBH - 42
FWW - 43 (BrokenRoad)
2 kids 7&12

The people you do your life with shape the life you live


Posts: 35331 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Michigan
torn2pieces
New Member
Member # 39029
Default  Posted: 7:21 PM, August 9th (Friday)

I am so with you on this one. We got rid of our truck also and I swear that it will never be the same color as that one. Trigger big time. God for you for getting a new vehicle for yourself

Posts: 40 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: torn2pieces
girlsbird
Member
Member # 30877
Default  Posted: 7:31 PM, August 9th (Friday)

We still have the truck he used to go see her. When he confessed I refused to get into it until he shampooed the entire interior and steam cleaned it. I wouldn't let him take it in to have it cleaned. I made him do it while I stood there and watched. Oh and I ran his phone over with that very same truck.

[This message edited by girlsbird at 7:32 PM, August 9th (Friday)]


D-Day 10/28/10..almost admission 7/10 Reconciled. I was the betrayed

Posts: 1203 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: arizona
DoneWithLove
Member
Member # 39380
Default  Posted: 9:48 PM, August 9th (Friday)

My H didn't understand my trigger either but hes reaping what hes sown. I hate my boys being in it but I have him take my 5yo with him when hes running errands, it cramps his stlye and is more time consuming but hey its better then getting a tracking device implanted in his neck! My baby doesn't lie to his mama. We are going to go get it sometime next week. I cant wait to trade his truck in for the new yukon. He said I can do whatever I want to it nd he wants to get me one of those touch screens that goes where the radio is. I would like to get hands free/ voice activated but its a process. I told him the only thing that would be better then trading it would be if it was wrecked on her dime/ her fault. Is that to harsh? Thank you and Good luck


BW: Me (24)
FWH: Him (24) Jlaz1988ws
Together 11/12/06
2 sons, ages 5 and 1
Married 9/29/12
EA turned PA with OW/ coworker for 2- 4 weeks
D day 4/20/13
TT 4/20/13 - 7/30/13
"R" 5/3/13

Posts: 191 | Registered: May 2013 | From: The mitten state
devasted30
Member
Member # 39439
Default  Posted: 12:03 AM, August 10th (Saturday)

Wow, I thought I was the only one who felt like that. Only problem is, my WS had them in the house, in my bedroom, in my bed, in my bathrooms, in my kitchen making him meals when I was away.
How do you get rid of a house?
30 years together

Posts: 486 | Registered: Jun 2013
maxine1
New Member
Member # 38991
Default  Posted: 12:30 AM, August 10th (Saturday)

I made my WH Burn down the camp that he used. We pushed it down a hill and started it on fire. At first he wanted to gut it out and redo it. I had totally ruined the inside with a knife, spray paint, hammer and a crowbar. There was nothing good left of the inside when I was done, So glad when I watched it go up in flames.


You're the first person who broke my heart, For the rest of my life, you will always be the one who hurt me the most. Don't ever forget that.

Posts: 26 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Hell
maxine1
New Member
Member # 38991
Default  Posted: 12:33 AM, August 10th (Saturday)

devasted30 I either would sell the house or remodel the house. I do drastic things, Don't know if you do.


You're the first person who broke my heart, For the rest of my life, you will always be the one who hurt me the most. Don't ever forget that.

Posts: 26 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Hell
CatchyUsername
Member
Member # 39415
Default  Posted: 7:12 AM, August 10th (Saturday)

During my WHs A we ordered a new car for him. Some of the emails that I found were him describing the car to his AP. He never took her for a test drive or anything like that but it still bugged me. I thought I was over it the day we went to pick up the car. Well, they screwed up the order and it wasn;t what he wanted - so we had a OUT! I was so relieved! We ended up getting a used sports car that both of us have always wanted - which I know to the people that know about the A seems crazy, but it is not THAT OTHER car that in my mind signified part of the A and who he was during that time. Oh, and the car that she sat in is now GONE GONE GONE. Win/Win.

Posts: 172 | Registered: Jun 2013
DoneWithLove
Member
Member # 39380
Default  Posted: 10:47 PM, August 11th (Sunday)

I was gonna say, I hope his truck is gone soon, but I've just decided it WILL be gone soon! Probably sooner than he thinks but it's not his decision, my money went into that POS truck too.

[This message edited by DoneWithLove at 10:49 PM, August 11th (Sunday)]


BW: Me (24)
FWH: Him (24) Jlaz1988ws
Together 11/12/06
2 sons, ages 5 and 1
Married 9/29/12
EA turned PA with OW/ coworker for 2- 4 weeks
D day 4/20/13
TT 4/20/13 - 7/30/13
"R" 5/3/13

Posts: 191 | Registered: May 2013 | From: The mitten state
Topic Posts: 32