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User Topic: Behaviour of ur wayward during A now transfer into other areas
summerain
Member
Member # 37439
Default  Posted: 9:55 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)

Anyone is free to respond, including waywards

During wh affairs he was passive aggressive and outright aggressive. He's not like that with me anymore but is in all other areas of his life. (A complete flip)

I'm starting to worry about his future, and of course mine. He's an arsehole to his bandmates and I'm always putting out his fires on Facebook and text messages and i have to keep trying to confiscate his phone.

To do that I have to pose as him, and I'm not very good at it. I also feel incredibly guilty and embarrassed doing so. But I feel like he's going to flush his years of work down the toilet, plus make it harder for hi in his industry. Then we fight about me doing it.

He needs to stop. I just don't know how to do that. I don't want to keep cleaning up these messes but I don't want him to fuck up his life


OW1 inadvertently let me know WH loves English breakfast tea. Never ever saw him drink it. And I never will.

Posts: 818 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Australia
SimpleTruth
New Member
Member # 38507
Default  Posted: 11:56 PM, July 31st (Wednesday)

Gently here...stop trying to control him. You can't control him. You cant change him. It's his life; his choices. You can discuss what you see happening with him, but ultimately it's up to him. If those choices affect your future adversely, you also have choices. Focus on yourself and your boundaries.


D-Day 10/15/2012

Separated (3/8/2013) and in limbo.


Posts: 41 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 1:08 AM, August 1st (Thursday)

You're enabling him. You're behaving in such a codependent way. This isn't healthy for him. He's a grown man. Let him make his own mistakes & deal with the consequences.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9458 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
summerain
Member
Member # 37439
Default  Posted: 2:27 AM, August 1st (Thursday)

Thanks for your replies I really appreciate it. I did let him deal with the fallout earlier this year (probably because I couldn't intervene at all) and he hasn't learnt at all.

It puts me under a lot of stress


OW1 inadvertently let me know WH loves English breakfast tea. Never ever saw him drink it. And I never will.

Posts: 818 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Australia
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 2:32 AM, August 1st (Thursday)

Sounds like what I've read in co-dependency books. You can only control your own actions. Much easier said than done but so so true.


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 4862 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
Topic Posts: 5