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User Topic: Dont even know where I fit anymore! Is this dday #3?
brokenhearted76
Member
Member # 39616
Default  Posted: 8:05 PM, August 1st (Thursday)

Dday #1 was june 4th. Found out hubby of 7 yrs had cheated in may with an ex gf from many yrs ago. Dday #2 was early july when i found out he was texting another ex trying to "hook up". The first dday the womans hubby busted them. The secong the womman herself texted me. Now this morning hubbys phone goes off..i see a "good morning" text from a woman named kate..we dont know any kate. I ask hubby, he says oh just a friend from facebook, i ask if she knew hes married, he says yes. Lie lie lie!!! I just went onto his email, "msg from kate on netlog" hmm i think..whats netlog..so i get snoopy. Hubby has LOTS of female friends there. Telling all of them how sexy their pics are. Well i found kate..surprise. her and hubby exchange numbers, hubby tells her shes sexy and he wants to "get to know her". I dont care if she lives in another state!! That was a huge no no!! Im so mad!! Is this another dday?


~Me~ Blindsided wife, age 37
~Him~ XWH, age 37
~Son~ age 14
~Daughter~ age 18, special needs
~Dday~ June 4th 2013
~him: several affairs during our marriage both emotional and physical, latest physical affair in may 2013~

Posts: 84 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: brokenhearted76
traicionada
Member
Member # 10310
Default  Posted: 8:11 PM, August 1st (Thursday)

So, what's your game plan? Do you want to try to work things out?


Real love is a CHOICE, NOT a feeling...

Posts: 3250 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Dallas, Texas
simplydevastated
Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 8:17 PM, August 1st (Thursday)

I would say yes, it's another d-day. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

Are you going to confront him with this new information?

(((Hugs)))


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5832 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
brokenhearted76
Member
Member # 39616
Default  Posted: 8:18 PM, August 1st (Thursday)

I dont know anymore! I was trying. There are kids involved. We deal with our oldest being special needs and suicidal. I was scared a split would throw her into a fit. I thought he was trying to.


~Me~ Blindsided wife, age 37
~Him~ XWH, age 37
~Son~ age 14
~Daughter~ age 18, special needs
~Dday~ June 4th 2013
~him: several affairs during our marriage both emotional and physical, latest physical affair in may 2013~

Posts: 84 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: brokenhearted76
brokenhearted76
Member
Member # 39616
Default  Posted: 8:20 PM, August 1st (Thursday)

Oh yeah im going to confront when he gets home! No way im going to sit quietly again and be a door mat.


~Me~ Blindsided wife, age 37
~Him~ XWH, age 37
~Son~ age 14
~Daughter~ age 18, special needs
~Dday~ June 4th 2013
~him: several affairs during our marriage both emotional and physical, latest physical affair in may 2013~

Posts: 84 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: brokenhearted76
crazyblindsided
Member
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 12:07 AM, August 2nd (Friday)

Yes it's most definitely another DDay I have experienced many myself. He has very poor boundaries still and FB may be something that needs to be inactivated or at least weeded through by both of you as to who is a friend of the M. Also all passwords are necessary. Be firm and don't back down. 180 too!


BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
Final Dday 7/11/14 Affair never ended

Posts: 2266 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
brokenhearted76
Member
Member # 39616
Default  Posted: 12:33 AM, August 2nd (Friday)

Confronted him about the texting and the "netlog" account. He of course was all apologetic, and tried to explain it all away. "He doesnt mean anything by it, its just something he does when hes bored, etc, blah blah blah" i told him he crossed the line. That i wasnt buying his crap. He promised to delete facebook, we will see. He promised to delete the other accounts, we will see. I opened his email to show him what i found, and wow looky there, a "msg notice" from another dating sight he has a profile on. Oops he "didnt know" how that one happpened. It had to be a mistake! Ummm yeah ok. So i go through that one, hmm its a recent pic of him. So..yeah this is dday #3. Just today he got busted texting a woman, and on 2 diff dating sights. I read him the riot act about giving his number out, and how some lunatic could trace him, and put my kids in danger. I started to lose my temper. He kept saying how much he loves me and our kids, how he "cant" lose us, we are his life. Yuck, he made me sick! I pointed out how he wasnt thinking of us when he called the woman he was texting sexy, gave out his number, or posted an ad on dating sites. Then i told him i was going to bed..alone...and the couch was his. I turned my lil self around and went in my room. Im playing some music (miranda lambert, carrie underwood, the band pperry) and i am going to ignore him some. Time for him to step up!


~Me~ Blindsided wife, age 37
~Him~ XWH, age 37
~Son~ age 14
~Daughter~ age 18, special needs
~Dday~ June 4th 2013
~him: several affairs during our marriage both emotional and physical, latest physical affair in may 2013~

Posts: 84 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: brokenhearted76
Topic Posts: 7