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User Topic: horror story
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, August 2nd (Friday)

I don't like spiders. I don't "do" the whole spider thing. I don't like spider webs. I have matrix like moves if a spider web is accidentally encountered. (Yeah, kudos to the spider that thinks web spinning across the back door to the driveway is amusing.)

Last night, while sitting on the couch, arm on the armrest, feeling pretty at home in my castle... SOMETHING crawls rapidly across the underside of my arm. It was a definite crawl, not the "hmmm, I wonder if that is just a stray hair that is tickling my arm?

I am upright and off the couch in .023 seconds. Camouflage coloring the same as my brown striped couch did not hide the monster sized spider where my arm used to be!! Him being all still and "oh, I'm invisible even though I am the size of a dinner plate" didn't hide him either. Ok, dinner plate might have been him projecting his bad ass self or it could be the size of my horror.

I have learned the hard way. Once you see the spider, don't take your eyes off the spider! I order DS to get me a paper towel or something to kill the spider and my tone of voice commanded immediate obedience without the usual "don't kill it" sympathy for creepy crawlies.

Thank God for indoor plumbing or I would have had to walk that bad boy to the outdoor trash can.


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5573 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
ISPIFFD
Member
Member # 26367
Default  Posted: 2:20 PM, August 2nd (Friday)

*LIKE!*


Me: BW (54)
Him: WH (61)
7/14/11 - Divorced

Posts: 1799 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: another world
itainteasy
Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 2:21 PM, August 2nd (Friday)

I hate to tell you this, but you simply must burn your house to the ground now.

Posts: 3286 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
ISPIFFD
Member
Member # 26367
Default  Posted: 2:23 PM, August 2nd (Friday)

That's a good point... there is no such thing as only one spider.

Instead of burning my house down, I moved out, let the XH move in. Left lots of spiders for him there.


Me: BW (54)
Him: WH (61)
7/14/11 - Divorced

Posts: 1799 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: another world
StillGoing
Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 3:27 PM, August 2nd (Friday)

There was the basement spider I had to deal with but I found that one again, I just ran away from it.

There was a BIG fucking orb spider that had built a web between my passenger car door and the little dogwood tree next to our driveway, it was sitting there with it's BIG FAT SPIDER BODY hanging there and I thought, ha ha fucker, I see you. I will take the trash can around the OTHER side.

So I don't remember how I got distracted I maybe saw a boob on a magazine cover in the mailbox I dunno but I forgot to not go around to the passenger side to throw my shit in the car to leave for work.

I'm pretty sure the neighbors must have thought I had set myself on fire. Never found that spider, went the rest of the day on edge, just waiting for it to crawl out of my hair or something.

It is an excellent lesson, yes. Always keep your eyes on the spider.


ALWAYS.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7337 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
lieshurt
Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 3:34 PM, August 2nd (Friday)

So I don't remember how I got distracted I maybe saw a boob on a magazine cover in the mailbox I dunno but I forgot to not go around to the passenger side to throw my shit in the car to leave for work.

I'm pretty sure the neighbors must have thought I had set myself on fire. Never found that spider, went the rest of the day on edge, just waiting for it to crawl out of my hair or something.


I probably would have had a heart attack if I'd walked into the web.

Spiders and I have an agreement....you leave me alone and I'll leave you alone. It's worked that way for many years and I hope it will continue to do so for many more.


I'm sorry if you don't like my Honesty, but to be fair I don't like your lies.

Sometimes it's better to push someone away...not because you stopped loving them but because you can't take the pain anymore.


Posts: 13640 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
jrc1963
Member
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 5:30 PM, August 2nd (Friday)

I am the spider whisperer - I speak calmly to them and ask them to relocate to a more desirable (for me) location.

Then I destroy the web with a broom.


Me: BSO - 45
Him: FWSO - 68
DS - 12
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24324 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
knightsbff
Member
Member # 36853
Default  Posted: 6:09 PM, August 2nd (Friday)

I love spider stories. They make me feel better!


FWW 40's
D-day August 27, 2012
3 kids and 2 dogs

Posts: 1380 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Deep South, USA
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 6:26 PM, August 2nd (Friday)

I love spider stories. They make me feel better!

Better than what?


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13553 | Registered: Jul 2011
Unagie
Member
Member # 37091
Default  Posted: 6:36 PM, August 2nd (Friday)

So a spider pic here would be extremely inappropriate huh? Its okay I'll make my own thread.

Btw I run shrieking from spiders.


Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild

No longer together

Do not let others be your reference for who you see in the mirror.

Stop allowing people to hurt you, because you don't love you enough to walk away.


Posts: 2623 | Registered: Oct 2012
booger bear
Member
Member # 26584
Shutup  Posted: 6:56 PM, August 2nd (Friday)

GIANT PSYCHO F-ING HAIRY SPIDERS !!! They descend on my porch every night !!! They are as big or bigger than a .50 cent piece ... And the ballsy bastards charge at you if you go to step on them. I quickly realized to step on these black op type spiders flip flops will not do, I will need steel toe combat boots. It is to hot for those here ...

so ...

They do not like it when you spray them with wasp killer ... They actually go quite psycho and flip flop all over the porch in some sort of death seizure ... Ever seen a flip flopping death seizing spider do all this on fire ??? Put a lighter in front of the can of spray before you spray ... Boy then they really get pissed ...

Oh course I have my feet pulled as high and far on my chair as possible, all while scanning for it's back-ups ...

By the way ... there is a such thing as a bird killing spider, yes it is actually big enough to kill a bird ... that pleasant little ad/link just went by on my FB page ... Not cool ...

I don't like spiders ... They freak me out and give me the hee bee jee bees ...


I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18725 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Here, but not there ...
knightsbff
Member
Member # 36853
Default  Posted: 7:03 PM, August 2nd (Friday)

Better than what?

Better about my hissy fits when faced with a spider.


FWW 40's
D-day August 27, 2012
3 kids and 2 dogs

Posts: 1380 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Deep South, USA
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 7:11 PM, August 2nd (Friday)

bb, fifty cent piece.... pffft. Did you not read my dinner plate size reference? One must trump my story with bigger and badder. The hairy aspect, check. But fifty cent piece???



Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5573 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
NotDefeatedYet
Member
Member # 33642
Default  Posted: 7:18 PM, August 2nd (Friday)

Wolf Spiders are the best. You can put a leash on them and take them for a walk.


"It's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart."

Posts: 766 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Texas
Unagie
Member
Member # 37091
Default  Posted: 7:21 PM, August 2nd (Friday)

Ever seen a camel spider? I don't know why I insist on looking up things that scare the shit out of me.


Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild

No longer together

Do not let others be your reference for who you see in the mirror.

Stop allowing people to hurt you, because you don't love you enough to walk away.


Posts: 2623 | Registered: Oct 2012
booger bear
Member
Member # 26584
Default  Posted: 8:14 PM, August 2nd (Friday)

but a .50 cent piece of flaming psycho spider trumps your dinner plate ... now if you come back with a flaming psycho dinner plate spider ...

well ... the world is ending and we must stock up on canned food and water right away ...


I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18725 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Here, but not there ...
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 8:24 PM, August 2nd (Friday)

How about the weather forecast "rainfall with a chance of giant spider?"

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504784_162-57590732-10391705/weather-is-rainfall-with-chance-of-giant-spider/

One more for our spider fearing club and with a good sense of humor to go along.


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5573 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 7:26 AM, August 4th (Sunday)

@StillGoing,

I'm pretty sure the neighbors must have thought I had set myself on fire.

Oh. Stop. My ribs!

Here in Australia the smaller it is the more dangerous it is.

eg. Huntsman's can be as big as your hand but are completely harmless. They are EVERYWHERE. Almost everyone has been in a car where one just appears on the visor. It happened to me on the Sydney Harbour Bridge

Rebacks and whitetails are teeny tiny and can kill you straight up. Nearly everyone I know has fount one under the toilet seat at least once in their lives.

Its still safer on dry land than it is in the water.

Orb Weavers are beautiful and make the most beautiful webs! I can't say I don't do the hot-potato, kid high on sugar dancing at a wedding jig when I walk into one but the webs are still beautiful to look at.. from afar.

[This message edited by StrongButBroken at 7:30 AM, August 4th (Sunday)]


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5392 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 7:43 AM, August 4th (Sunday)

SBB,
That is horrifying! They just "appear" on the visor while you are driving? How many people die in single car accidents?

shuddering....


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5573 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 8:02 AM, August 4th (Sunday)

Nope - they hide in there while the visor is up, you pull it down and OhMyFuckingGodJaysusChristMutherFuckerAaaaaarrgghhhh.....

Oh, its just a Huntsman. Get it out of the bloody car!

When I was a teen my mum who was not born here and has a phobia for all occasions managed to stop the car calmly and get out.... in the middle of a bloody freeway.

The toilet seat is a far scarier place to be.


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5392 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
gahurts
Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 8:07 AM, August 4th (Sunday)

The toilet seat is a far scarier place to be.


Spiders - a great reason for women to leave the seat up.


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3315 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 4:19 PM, August 4th (Sunday)


No.


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5392 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 6:51 PM, August 4th (Sunday)

Striking "Visit Australia" off my bucket list...

***shudder***


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24376 | Registered: Aug 2011
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 6:58 PM, August 4th (Sunday)

I know Nik, right? We could go to a big theater and see a travel documentary, have wine after. It's almost like going?

My DS on the other hand is putting countries on the bucket list based on the venomous snake population. I can handle geckos. Parrots. Bats even. But I don't want to share my toilet or my vehicle with spiders. Even the not dangerous ones, because truly, after I drive off the bridge it won't matter if the spider bite would have killed me.


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5573 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Unagie
Member
Member # 37091
Default  Posted: 7:30 PM, August 4th (Sunday)

Just for you guys!!


Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild

No longer together

Do not let others be your reference for who you see in the mirror.

Stop allowing people to hurt you, because you don't love you enough to walk away.


Posts: 2623 | Registered: Oct 2012
cmego
Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 7:50 PM, August 4th (Sunday)

Why is there a video on this thread?

I hate spiders. Like really, really, really hate them.

Whilst living in Florida, I had a house with a pool and therefore pool cage. I remember floating around the pool and seeing lots of spiders hanging around under the metal railing to the pool cage. I called Orkin out to kill them...and he said, "Well. Ma'am. These are brown widow spiders. Your pool is infested with them."

Literally, I made ex move from that house.

Now I carry around a can of spider killer. I go outside every couple of days and spray around the lights/porch/doors/trash cans to kill off any spider dumb enough to try and live close to my house. I kill all that I see, around the house, garden, yard...kill them all. Hate them.

Care...I probably wouldn't be going back to that room for quite some time...dead spider or not!


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4004 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Virginia
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 7:54 PM, August 4th (Sunday)

Unagie - you are TOTALLY on my "Not Nice" list.


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24376 | Registered: Aug 2011
Unagie
Member
Member # 37091
Default  Posted: 8:20 PM, August 4th (Sunday)

Cmego I'm sorry it went with the convo. I can remove it if you'd like.

NIK you know it's all in good fun. A spider IRL terrifies me. Videos of them not so much .

Was just joking around.

[This message edited by Unagie at 8:21 PM, August 4th (Sunday)]


Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild

No longer together

Do not let others be your reference for who you see in the mirror.

Stop allowing people to hurt you, because you don't love you enough to walk away.


Posts: 2623 | Registered: Oct 2012
booger bear
Member
Member # 26584
Default  Posted: 8:49 PM, August 4th (Sunday)

ungracie ... soon you are gonna owe me a new mouse possibly a new laptop as I almost shoved it off the coffee table onto the floor ... I think I heard the mouse crack from squeezing it so hard.

sheesh ... that is a cruel video ... why is that guy unarmed his freaking bathroom is infested ...


I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18725 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Here, but not there ...
Unagie
Member
Member # 37091
Default  Posted: 8:52 PM, August 4th (Sunday)

Apparently that was a restaurant he used to enjoy frequenting. There's a video with the info on youtube.


Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild

No longer together

Do not let others be your reference for who you see in the mirror.

Stop allowing people to hurt you, because you don't love you enough to walk away.


Posts: 2623 | Registered: Oct 2012
booger bear
Member
Member # 26584
Default  Posted: 8:58 PM, August 4th (Sunday)

ummm ... ya cause I'm gonna go look that up ... Wonder if he eats there any more ... I would have thrown up and sued for emotional damage ...


I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18725 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Here, but not there ...
knightsbff
Member
Member # 36853
Default  Posted: 9:16 PM, August 4th (Sunday)

Unagie! You're wrong for that!!!

That spider was huge and fast. Nightmare fodder!

OMG!!! There's another huge one at the back of the toilette too!!!

Eeeeeeek!

[This message edited by knightsbff at 9:18 PM, August 4th (Sunday)]


FWW 40's
D-day August 27, 2012
3 kids and 2 dogs

Posts: 1380 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Deep South, USA
knightsbff
Member
Member # 36853
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, August 4th (Sunday)

Unagie,

What state is that scary video from?

I'm freaking out.


FWW 40's
D-day August 27, 2012
3 kids and 2 dogs

Posts: 1380 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Deep South, USA
Unagie
Member
Member # 37091
Default  Posted: 10:08 PM, August 4th (Sunday)

He never specifies. Just says its a restaurant he used to go to and never goes back.


Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild

No longer together

Do not let others be your reference for who you see in the mirror.

Stop allowing people to hurt you, because you don't love you enough to walk away.


Posts: 2623 | Registered: Oct 2012
knightsbff
Member
Member # 36853
Default  Posted: 10:28 PM, August 4th (Sunday)

I'm telling myself it's in Australia.

[This message edited by knightsbff at 10:28 PM, August 4th (Sunday)]


FWW 40's
D-day August 27, 2012
3 kids and 2 dogs

Posts: 1380 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Deep South, USA
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 6:01 AM, August 5th (Monday)

I'm telling myself it's in Australia.

Nah, our big ones are bigger than that and the redbacks are so tiny you wouldn't even notice them. Plus our toilet water level isn't that high.


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5392 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
SurprisinglyOkay
Member
Member # 36684
Default  Posted: 6:31 AM, August 5th (Monday)

You guys crack me up!!
(sez the girl who used to have her tarantulas crawl on her)


IE:


This is Lily, named after Lily Munster (That's my waist)

[This message edited by broevil at 6:32 AM, August 5th (Monday)]


FWS me 36 (recovering addict)
BS him 39 AFrayedKnot
Together 7 years
2 children


"Your secrets keep you sick"


Posts: 1130 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: 221B
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 9:03 AM, August 5th (Monday)

OK. Orb weavers are cute but I'm not having them on my belly.

At least Tarantula's don't make webs. Do they?

Plus I've got this weird fear of things laying eggs in my ears when I'm sleeping.

No.


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5392 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 9:47 AM, August 5th (Monday)

Add me to the "I don't do spiders" club. After reading this thread I think I'm going to get my can of bug spray and go nuke random places along the foundation of my home. Although I am normally a natural, organic type of person (see my user name!), I draw the line at spiders. And roaches, but that's a different story.

I have quite clearly communicated to the spider world that if you come in my house I will hunt you down & kill you. You will take that final water slide ride to the other side, or else you'll be sucked into the vortex of death and never be heard from again.

And I decided years ago I will never go to Australia. Once I saw that Huntsman bit I knew I'd never go. Never. Never never never.

Oh, and people who post pictures & videos on a thread where people are talking about their spider phobias should be severely constipated for the next week.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9234 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
TrulyReconciled
Member
Member # 3031
Default  Posted: 10:06 AM, August 5th (Monday)

So a spider pic here would be extremely inappropriate huh? Its okay I'll make my own thread.

Your own THREAD?? OMG Unagie is one of ***them***


"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."

Posts: 20880 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Hell and back, way back :o)
TrulyReconciled
Member
Member # 3031
Default  Posted: 10:09 AM, August 5th (Monday)


"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."

Posts: 20880 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Hell and back, way back :o)
aesir
Member
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 10:14 AM, August 5th (Monday)

So a spider pic here would be extremely inappropriate huh? Its okay I'll make my own thread.
Btw I run shrieking from spiders.

Your own THREAD?? OMG Unagie is one of ***them***

The full quote seems to confirm it. Spiders are known to be solitary and generally not tolerate their own kind.


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
itainteasy
Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 10:25 AM, August 5th (Monday)

Unagie,
I'm at work...I saw your video and I SCREAMED AND KNOCKED MY KEYBOARD OFF OF MY DESK!

My boss looked at me like I was having a seizure.

I also think I peed my pants.


Posts: 3286 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
Unagie
Member
Member # 37091
Default  Posted: 12:39 PM, August 5th (Monday)

Your own THREAD?? OMG Unagie is one of ***them***

You and aesir figured me out!!

Itainteasy I am dying over here. I'm sorry I scared you


Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild

No longer together

Do not let others be your reference for who you see in the mirror.

Stop allowing people to hurt you, because you don't love you enough to walk away.


Posts: 2623 | Registered: Oct 2012
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 3:13 PM, August 5th (Monday)

This greets me on my facebook feed today. Complete with the question, "Come on, how can anyone hate spiders? Look how cute it is." AND a link to a documentary which I am guessing will also try to cute me out of my fear. um, no. I am sure Grumpy Cat hates spiders along with everything else. But I can't do the meme thing so y'all use your imagination.


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5573 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 3:50 PM, August 5th (Monday)

GAHHH!!! Why do I keep coming back in here???
I know Nik, right? We could go to a big theater and see a travel documentary, have wine after. It's almost like going?
Sign me up!


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24376 | Registered: Aug 2011
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 3:51 PM, August 5th (Monday)


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24376 | Registered: Aug 2011
aesir
Member
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 4:27 PM, August 5th (Monday)

You really have to watch out for the crack spider, as this short film from the Government of Canada shows.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHzdsFiBbFc

[This message edited by aesir at 4:27 PM, August 5th (Monday)]


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
StillGoing
Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 5:05 PM, August 5th (Monday)

Those spiders, the ones in the john, those are the spiders that are now homeless after Dragon Age 2 got so many fucking complaints about them crawling out of everywhere. You could get a solid level out of those fuckers right there. Those things are just the right combination of size and horrible location that my "what loot will it drop" reaction might just overpower my urge to clap my hands protectively over my dick and bellow a terror-fueled challenging roar before I bolt into the common area, pants around my ankle and shout angrily THERE ARE FUCKING MONSTERS IN THERE.

They're still smaller than the basement spider.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7337 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
StillGoing
Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 5:08 PM, August 5th (Monday)

"GTFO I NEED TO USE THE CAN"

"SRSLY I HAD TACO BELL THIS AXE IS THE CLEANER OF THE TWO THINGS ABOUT TO HIT YOUR FACE"

[This message edited by StillGoing at 5:09 PM, August 5th (Monday)]


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7337 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
booger bear
Member
Member # 26584
Default  Posted: 7:10 PM, August 5th (Monday)

WooHoo !!!!!!!! My spider killer guy comes tomorrow ... I have left him a hairy, scary present on the porch so he knows I'm not crazy. I will probably get to add 1-2 more tonight ...

happy dance ... spider apocalypse tomorrow ...


I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18725 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Here, but not there ...
Jeaniegirl
Member
Member # 6370
Default  Posted: 1:56 AM, August 6th (Tuesday)

These threads crack me up. :)

I'm not afraid of much, including spiders. Things like that just annoy me. I went to fill my bath tub last night for a leisure soak and there was a scorpion. He was just sitting there, enjoying the cool tub I guess. I said ..'okay buddy, your life is over so say your prayers.' In response he sent that little stinger tail up in the air and tried to make a get-away. But I'm much faster. SWAT! He was toast so I got a tissue, grabbed him and flushed him then spent a few minutes cleaning MY tub.

I forget which comedian it is that talks about spiders but I sure laugh. She said..."big ass spider sitting up there in the corner of my living room, spinning a web like it pays RENT!"

[This message edited by Jeaniegirl at 1:58 AM, August 6th (Tuesday)]


"Because I deserve better"

Posts: 916 | Registered: Feb 2005
lynnm1947
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Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 12:31 PM, August 6th (Tuesday)

OMG, aesir, that was hilarious!


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 7108 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
Topic Posts: 53