New Beginnings
User Topic: A message from OnceInALifetime
Sad in AZ
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 3:17 PM, August 3rd (Saturday)

OIAL asked me to post this for him:

"I asked DS to kindly shut down my profile because I was spending far too much time on SI To the couple people that sent me a PM, I failed to respond because I, well, can't. Lastly my thanks and fond wishes to all."

So sorry to see him go.

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20322 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 3:18 PM, August 3rd (Saturday)

I hate that he left.

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie

Posts: 3435 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
Member # 27454
Default  Posted: 3:20 PM, August 3rd (Saturday)

Sad to see him go... He came so far and his posts often me laugh.

But maybe this was an inevitable part of his healing and a sign of how far he has come.

If you have contact with him... I for one wish him well and much happiness.

We will miss his posts.

Me = BS aged 43
2 boys, 13 and 9
DDay 1/19/10
Confronted him 2/16/10
Finally Divorced 8/29/12

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.”

Posts: 726 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Expats in Europe
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 3:23 PM, August 3rd (Saturday)

Sometimes it's healthy to take a break from some areas of our lives. OIAL seems like someone who throws himself into life with a lot of intensity, and for some people, certain situations can more easily be an all-or-nothing. I know there are times when I personally struggle with moderation, and too much reliance on a community like SI can become distracting from "real life." Taking a step back can be healthy.

Kudos to OIAL for recognizing what he needs for himself to be healthy and taking proactive steps. I do hope he comes back in time, because I'd love to hear his updates, but for now, if this isn't a healthy place for him, I'm proud of him for recognzing that.

"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13812 | Registered: Jul 2011
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 4:34 PM, August 3rd (Saturday)

I'll really miss him and his perspective.

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7781 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Member # 26870
Default  Posted: 5:33 PM, August 3rd (Saturday)

He is a good man and will be missed but of course wish him well.

It's never too late to live happily ever after.

Posts: 572 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: North
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 6:32 PM, August 3rd (Saturday)

Best wishes OIAL. We will all miss you around here.

"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1363 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 6:55 PM, August 3rd (Saturday)

Good luck OIAL! We will miss you.

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17589 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Member # 22860
Default  Posted: 7:37 PM, August 3rd (Saturday)

I mostly just lurk and read. I will miss his posts, he often wrote something that I could relate to.

wishing OIAL a happy NB

Me = FBS
Him = gone

things that happen in my life do not define who I am. I get to choose to be the best I can be, for me. cause I'm worth it.

Posts: 286 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: my happy place (most of the time)
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 9:01 PM, August 3rd (Saturday)

I wondered where he went. I'm sorry to hear he's gone.

Take care, OIAL! Your fellow alum will miss you.

BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3623 | Registered: Oct 2011
Member # 37991
Default  Posted: 10:08 PM, August 3rd (Saturday)

Aw shucks. I too will miss OIAL's posts and perspectives, and wish him well.

It takes some intestinal guts to post one's trials & tribulations and be willing to take shots (or 2x4s) from the peanut gallery. I am grateful to be able to learn from OIAL's perspective, and sure appreciated his open-ness.

The other thing is that it's really nice to have confirmation that there are good guys out there who are faithful. This would go for all the male BS's who post here, of course. In a world which sometimes seems full of selfish jerks, it was nice to read from someone who wasn't.

Wishing you well, OIAL. We will miss you.


BSO, 53
exWSO, who cares
DD: 11/18/12
DD2: 11/21/12
Kicked him to the curb 11/21/12
“I tramp a perpetual journey.”
― Walt Whitman, Song of Myself

Posts: 120 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Red State SE US
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 11:39 PM, August 3rd (Saturday)

Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011

Posts: 9856 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Member # 29183
Default  Posted: 2:57 AM, August 4th (Sunday)


His humour and ability to laugh at himself was refreshing. I wish him well.

3 amazing kidlets
To WXH "Now you're just somebody that I used to know."
D-day and separation - June, 2009
Divorced - December, 2011

Posts: 2524 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: A better place
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 5:59 AM, August 4th (Sunday)

I'm really gonna miss him....

"Sometimes your knight in shining armor just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12

Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 12:17 PM, August 4th (Sunday)

I'm gonna miss him too, I love his sense of humor and self deprecating comments. I understand the need to take a break and how hard that can be when the fix is just a click away! (Kind of like OLD for me!) Please communicate all of this SI love to OIAL for us Sad.

DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52

Posts: 3216 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
little turtle
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 2:46 PM, August 4th (Sunday)

OIAL is such a great man. I wish him nothing but the best. I hope he comes back with updates... otherwise I will always wonder how he is doing!

Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4212 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
Member # 28376
Default  Posted: 2:58 PM, August 4th (Sunday)

It was nice to have been a part of the growth process for him after infidelity. Real life is always more fun.

OIAL, good luck and much happiness to you! You will be missed.

Me: 44/WH (SA): 49
M: 24 years 3 kids over 10 yrs old
EA/ PA Dec. 2009 -Divorce pending

Posts: 1240 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Midwest
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 4:37 PM, August 4th (Sunday)

Too bad for us! He was a great contributor and shared so personally that I feel like a friend has left town. I wish him all the best.

BS, age 53, d-day 6-2-08, divorced after 17 years and 20 together. Now I am living alone in the beautiful rural property that was once the dream retreat with X. It's taking a long time to create new dreams but despite some struggles I am mostly happy.

Posts: 5871 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Rural California
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 11:35 PM, August 4th (Sunday)

We all need a break now and again. Hope he finds his peace and considers rejoining us if he'd like to at some point.

Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling

Posts: 4620 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 1:12 AM, August 5th (Monday)

Wishing him the best.

Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17905 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Member # 20399
Default  Posted: 2:30 PM, August 6th (Tuesday)

He'll be back.

Why? Because we're so irresistible!!

I'm gonna miss OIAL. At times when needing a "pick-me-up" I'd look for OIAL's posts for some laughs. Got to admit it, some of his posts were comical.

And he's a good-looking guy to boot!! His departure will be noticed.

Posts: 495 | Registered: Jul 2008
Helen of Troy
Member # 26419
Default  Posted: 8:30 AM, August 7th (Wednesday)

Well that's too bad.
He is a good looking man, great father to his kids, with a lot to offer. So, I'm always surprised at his dating challenges.
He will be missed around here for his insight and humor.
Hope he will come back someday with a happy update when he is ready.

Posts: 4719 | Registered: Dec 2009
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 12:24 PM, August 7th (Wednesday)

Wishing him all the best.

Me: 42
Two boys: 17 and 14
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?

Posts: 25628 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
Member # 9046
Default  Posted: 2:14 PM, August 7th (Wednesday)

Good luck, OIAL


Me: BS (39)
Him: WS (40)
Married: Six years, D Day 11/8/05
Divorce final: Nov 06
Two gorgeous sons: 10 and 8

Posts: 1045 | Registered: Dec 2005 | From: KY
Topic Posts: 24