SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
New Beginnings
User Topic: xso has freaked me out
tabitha95
Member
Member # 22033
Default  Posted: 6:23 PM, August 3rd (Saturday)

I guess XSO realized last Saturday that we were officially over. No more second, or third, chances.

He then turned his hurt toward me in anger.

It has been insane. So many insane texts and then apology texts the next day.

He is completely blocked on my facebook, but I don't know how to block my phone.

He has posted horrible things on his FB about me. His texts are cruel. One text made me think that he might be stalking me, and then he "mailed" my key back and all I get was an empty envelope with the corner ripped off.

I can't beleive this is the same person I knew for 2 years.

Then after all that he texted me yesterday afternoon and asked if he could call me. I said no, I have no more energy to discuss or fight anything with you. He replied that he wanted to talk to me about how he wanted to get back together and how he could make everything right. I told him after this last week he scares me and I can't ever be with him again. I said that I am starting Zolof and need to get myself straightened out and that his texts have done more damage than he will ever realize.

I've heard from others that people have been saying he's officially cracked. He is making no sense on FB. I think it's his drinking.


BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

Posts: 3247 | Registered: Dec 2008
ladies_first
Member
Member # 24643
Default  Posted: 6:27 PM, August 3rd (Saturday)

he "mailed" my key back and all I get was an empty envelope with the corner ripped off.

Have you changed the locks, tabitha95, for your safety?


"We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." ~J. Campbell
"In the final analysis, it is your own attitude that will make or break you, not what has happened to you." ~D. Galloway

Posts: 2143 | Registered: Jun 2009
tabitha95
Member
Member # 22033
Default  Posted: 6:38 PM, August 3rd (Saturday)

I'm going to get new deadbolts today. I have a friend who said he could help me install them, but not until Wednesday.

I don't want to tell my parents what is going on, so I don't want to ask my dad.

Do you know if it is easy/hard to change a deadbolt? The bottom handles are flapper style with no lock. I don't want to start the project and then not be able to do it and have the house less secure.

Luckily I do have an alarm system, but xso knows the code. So I need to change that too.

I missed red flags with his drinking, etc... but I really missed this anger side.


BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

Posts: 3247 | Registered: Dec 2008
notmeanymore
Member
Member # 9772
Default  Posted: 6:39 PM, August 3rd (Saturday)

I second changing the locks.

Block him on FB and don't look at his page. He wants to hurt and upset you.

If he's said anything that could be construed as threatening (by text or FB) go to the police. See about a RO. Maybe the police would even talk to him if they dont' have enough for an RO?

Don't put up with this crap.

ETA I've changed locks out before. It isn't hard. You can even google it if you need to.

[This message edited by notmeanymore at 6:40 PM, August 3rd (Saturday)]


"Put the cuckoo back in the clock baby" - Four Brothers

Posts: 865 | Registered: Feb 2006
lieshurt
Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 6:41 PM, August 3rd (Saturday)

I'm going to get new deadbolts today. I have a friend who said he could help me install them, but not until Wednesday.

Just have a locksmith come out and rekey the locks. Definitely do not wait until Wednesday.


I'm sorry if you don't like my Honesty, but to be fair I don't like your lies.

Sometimes it's better to push someone away...not because you stopped loving them but because you can't take the pain anymore.


Posts: 13696 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
StrongerOne
Member
Member # 36915
Default  Posted: 7:58 PM, August 3rd (Saturday)

And get a restraining order.


DDay Feb 2011.
In R.

Posts: 846 | Registered: Sep 2012
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 12:11 AM, August 4th (Sunday)

Oh no, Honey, don't wait until Wednesday. You aren't thinking clearly! You most definitely need to change those locks & the alarm right now. You also need to let your folks know what's going on. If you don't and then he contacts them, things are going to get bad for you.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9461 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 1:04 AM, August 4th (Sunday)

And get a restraining order.

^^Definitely. If he has cracked who the hell knows what he is capable of?

They torn envelope? That is the creepiest fucking thing I've ever heard. Like he wants you to tell people he returned the key but it has gone missing... like he is setting up some kind of alibi.

Even if he doesn't intend to actually do anything the menacing and trying to make you feel unsafe is more than enough to warrant a police report.

Who the hell would ever want someone else to feel unsafe? A psycho - that is who.

Get yourself to the police station ASAP and report all of this. Get your locks added/changed and call your service provider about how to block his number.

This guy is seriously a few sandwiches short of a picnic. DO NOT ignore your alarm bells.

This freaks-the-fuck out of me.


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5527 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 1:53 AM, August 4th (Sunday)

Add me to the freaked out camp. Be smart. Be safe. Don't delay what you know you need to do.

(((hugs)))


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5747 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
foreverempty
Member
Member # 34426
Default  Posted: 3:27 AM, August 4th (Sunday)

he "mailed" my key back and all I get was an empty envelope with the corner ripped off.

As much as I agree with the changing of the locks. From a professional perspective the ripped envelope corner was most likely done by the mail processing machine.

I had the same exact thing from a tenant last month and as I work in the industry it's something I see every day several times so don't let it immediately worry you.

The machines can't process them and the speed of operation breaks keys and coins out of the envelopes.

Still for 100% peace of mind change them anyway as he could have made a copy easily.


Me BS: 35
Her WW: 34
D Day 5th December 2011
Current status: Filled for divorce 23rd Jan 2012. Response from WW was not to beg for forgiveness, but deleting me from Facebook.

Posts: 605 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: United Kingdom
She11ybeanz
Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 6:06 AM, August 4th (Sunday)

I second changing the locks.

THIRDS here!!!!


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2713 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
tabitha95
Member
Member # 22033
Default  Posted: 10:55 AM, August 4th (Sunday)

EXH came back from his 10 day trip with our sons so I went and picked them up. I asked the kids to leave the room and I told EXH what is going on with XSO. He's coming today to change the locks for me so that I don't have to wait until Wednesday.

I haven't heard from XSO in 36 hours. Hopefully my last text sunk in.

I made a really good friend with one of his friends. She is awesome. He went to her for support and she, her husband and their adult daughter chewed his ass out royally. Told him to knock off his crap and grow up. I've heard from others that people are telling him the same. He's not getting support for acting crazy, so he may be stopping.

Hopefully that guy I knew for 2 years is still inside him somewhere and he is just hurting and doesn't know how to handle it the right way.

People that have known him say he's never been dangerous, just obsessed.

I'll keep everyone posted. I know when I see posts on SI with crazy behaviour, I always worry about the person when they aren't checking in on SI.


BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

Posts: 3247 | Registered: Dec 2008
Topic Posts: 12