I am not in R but this was the most stupid thing that I would do in the very recent past.
Have 1 or 3 too many drinks, cry, break NC, acquire new hurts and confirm that 'yep, he is still an unremorseful ahole' and stop drinking.
Lather, rinse, repeat until about a month ago.
So sorry you are going through this.
To try and avoid doing things that hurt me when I am triggering or at a low point I now:
* acknowledge the pain
* remind myself of positives that have come about
* self sooth/treat myself to something that is good for me
* keep reminding myself that this too shall pass
* forgive myself if I do end up doing something that causes or adds to the pain
I have found that recently the lows have become shallower and more manageable.
((cuppacoffee)) Me: Awesome - 35
"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou
"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be". –