|Just Found Out|
Topic: Doing everything right, but I don't trust him
Member # 39971
| Posted: 4:45 AM, August 7th (Wednesday)|
My husband seems to be doing everything right. NC with OW, I have all his email, he is in IC and we will start MC soon. He is attentive and seems committed to us.
However his FB seems to be friended by women that is just "his type". Sure he has a public profile - part public person- and I was never worried about the females that friended him. Now, I don't know. I feel insecure and I hate these women, some of who are half my age! It's nothing out of the ordinary but I feel hyper vigilant and hurt. Why does it feel that I don't trust him? There is nothing to indicate that he is wayward, but my gut won't let up that something isn't right.
[This message edited by AStar at 4:48 AM, August 7th (Wednesday)]
Me BS (41)
Him WH (45). EA and possible PA (denied)
D Day 7/21/2013
M 8 years - filing for D
**The cruelest lies are often told in silence- Robert Louis Stevenson
Posts: 115 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: New Zealand
Member # 36072
| Posted: 8:39 AM, August 7th (Wednesday)|
Not trusting him at this stage is perfectly normal. You probably won't trust him for a very long time. I am 13 months past DDay and I STILL don't fully trust WH.
I think he needs to get rid of his FB page. Maybe that's unrealistic, when you say he is a public person that makes me think that he has FB related to his career. If he is a public figure, and must have this page, maybe you could be in charge of running it. It would set your mind at ease. If he insists that he needs his own page, then he can create a separate FB profile just for family and mutual friends you agree on.
Trust is like paper. Once it's crumpled it can never be perfect again.
Posts: 1168 | Registered: Jul 2012
Member # 35812
| Posted: 12:27 PM, August 7th (Wednesday)|
And if he keeps his public page, he needs to list himself as married, and the photo needs to be of the two of you. Personally, I would not be comfortable with this at all.
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
Posts: 4915 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Member # 39588
| Posted: 1:58 PM, August 7th (Wednesday)|
I don't trust anyone, especially WS and every other woman I see anywhere for that matter :)
My H gave up his Facebook page, we got a joint one but eventually he just deleted it all. Of course the flirting with OW was all through there.
Me (BS): 35
Him (fWS): 36
Married 16 years 6 kids ages 15-6
DDay #1 (EA) July '08
DDay #2 (EA/ONS- different OW) May 15, 2013
Finally this is R 8/14/13
"Forgiving is a journey; the deeper the wound, the longer the journey".
Posts: 299 | Registered: Jun 2013
Member # 18429
| Posted: 2:17 PM, August 7th (Wednesday)|
It's been almost 6 years since DDay for me. My H has always been a model remorseful FWS. He has been open and honest since the very beginning, answered every question I had, done just about everything I could ask. Do I trust him 100% today? Heck no! I trust him mostly, but definitely not blindly. That blind trust should never be given to anyone IMO, it opens one up to a myriad of users who will take advantage of it no matter how "well" you know them, family included.
DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - FWS
Us - Committed
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
"Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." Isaiah 48:10
Posts: 3859 | Registered: Feb 2008
Member # 17217
| Posted: 2:36 PM, August 7th (Wednesday)|
Why does it feel like you don't trust him? Because you DON'T and why should you? There is nothing wrong with that and don't force soemthing you don't feel.
Your gut is telling you something for a reason.
As for fb - my H deleted that immediately after DDay and never opened another one again. Also, in the early stages my H seemed to be doing everything too - i saw no emails, texts, phone calls, etc. - but guess what, my gut was screaming too - and a var proved my gut right.
H had LTA with co-worker
Two sons - grown and on their own
DD - April 2010
Please note registration date is not correct. See my profile for details
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.
Posts: 1264 | Registered: Nov 2007
Member # 40211
| Posted: 12:17 AM, August 8th (Thursday)|
Livingalie: I read your profile and it parallels mine... It is incredibly difficult to believe anything they say!!! Lies are making me absolutely crazy. Even if my WH did the Jim Carey thing in that movie when he had a curse causing him to be 100% honest, guess what? I still would not believe him! So destructive. Mine just blames me, he says " I already explained everything. let it go" you lost that privilege, buddy!!
Married 20 years
Posts: 229 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Midwest
|Topic Posts: 7|| |