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User Topic: Saturday date
HURTAGAIN1981
Member
Member # 35178
Default  Posted: 6:32 PM, August 7th (Wednesday)

I have a date on Saturday night as the title suggests.

I am a little worried as it is someone I have been chatting to for a few months now. He seems to be one of the 'better' ones so far and I'm just worried it won't go well or he won't be too interested and I know that because of this, I will be more nervous than usual. Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with this?

The last date I had couldn't have gone too well as he arranged a second date with me and cancelled half an hour before!

I usually find it's easier to just meet someone that you haven't been talking to that long. We started talking in May and he went on a trip around Europe not long ago, so we agreed to meet when he got back. When he got back he mentioned the date we had 'planned' and has been in contact pretty much every day since. From what I have seen of him, he seems attractive and also a nice person, although you can't really tell this early on. I just don't want to blow it, obviously I did with the last one somehow


Posts: 296 | Registered: Mar 2012
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 6:34 PM, August 7th (Wednesday)

Baby steps. Don't be nervous- I'm Pulling for you.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7438 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
wildbananas
Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 6:47 PM, August 7th (Wednesday)

I'm going on a date Saturday too... don't feel alone! I wish I had some tips but I'm nervous, too. My last first date was, oh, in 2007.

Yep, baby steps.


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15362 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
I.will.survive
Member
Member # 34677
Default  Posted: 7:09 PM, August 7th (Wednesday)

Ask questions about him. He'll find it easy to talk about himself no doubt. If he doesn't ask you any, don't write him off. Try to piggy back your own answer after he gives his. You don't want him feeling peppered with questions though, but in a lull ask him about where he grew up, siblings, childhood traditions, dream job/vacation, any kid related things.

On my first date with my SO, I thought "what the heck? This man sure loves to talk about himself." Turns out he was a bit nervous and didn't realize he did that. He even had me touch his muscles. Hahahaha! He's so embarrassed that he did that and doesn't remember that part either.

Have fun and feel confident. Your date will enjoy that.

[This message edited by I.will.survive at 7:10 PM, August 7th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 530 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: east coast
HURTAGAIN1981
Member
Member # 35178
Default  Posted: 7:25 PM, August 7th (Wednesday)

Thanks all!

Williesmom,

Maybe I will have a cheeky drink before I meet him lol!

wildbananas,

I hope your date goes well. I will think of you!

I.will.survive,

That's funny! I will try to get a list of questions to ask, hopefully he won't find it odd when I pull out a clipboard, or maybe I can hand him a questionnaire with multiple choice answers

I've just ordered a new dress too! Ooooh urghhh!!!


Posts: 296 | Registered: Mar 2012
HURTAGAIN1981
Member
Member # 35178
Default  Posted: 7:25 PM, August 7th (Wednesday)

double post

[This message edited by HURTAGAIN1981 at 7:26 PM, August 7th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 296 | Registered: Mar 2012
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 12:11 AM, August 8th (Thursday)

I agree with the advice so far - just take it slow and enjoy yourself. I understand the nervousness, I just try to keep it light and simple - not too deep. Enjoy the opportunity - if he's not a match, it was good practice. If you like him, you take it from there.

As I've learned from baggage reclaim, dating is layers. You both unfold gradually - and you have to be prepared that each layer could be good or reveal a deal breaker.

[This message edited by persevere at 12:12 AM, August 8th (Thursday)]


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4380 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
better4me
Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 12:14 PM, August 8th (Thursday)

You'll do fine, it is normal to feel nervous and anxious and excited all at the same time. I always feel that way before first dates and I've been on many in the past 2 years. You can never know what someone is really like until you meet...and you have a lot of time "invested" in this guy. Remember, he is probably just as nervous as you are. I agree with have a few questions "up your sleeve" and asking about his trip will certainly get him talking.

If it doesnt go well and he isn't interested or you aren't interested...it is a learning experience.

The last date I had couldn't have gone too well as he arranged a second date with me and cancelled half an hour before!
I just don't want to blow it, obviously I did with the last one somehow

Sweetie...^^^I've been there too^^^ but with practice I've come to believe that things don't happen for good reasons too. That second date not working out could have been for many many reasons...and many of those possible reason have absolutely NOTHING to do with you!!


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3019 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
HURTAGAIN1981
Member
Member # 35178
Default  Posted: 4:27 PM, August 8th (Thursday)

Thank you all!!!

I will be nervous but I will try my bet to be as normal as possible.

What kind of questions could you ask about a trip? I'm just curious as I'm not a massive conversationalist with new people and often am worried that I may sound stupid asking certain things or saying things.

I'll definitely be having a drink before I go though!

I guess I don't really care about the one who poofed, haven't heard from him since and I certainly haven't lost any sleep over it. I wasn't bowled over by the first meeting and wasn't sure if I liked him anyway but was willing to give it a chance, but at least he made the decision for me, even so it still makes you think that you may have done something to put them off, can't be that bad though as most of the people I have had first dates with have wanted to arrange a second but unfortunately I haven't been interested in them.


Posts: 296 | Registered: Mar 2012
Pass
Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 11:02 PM, August 8th (Thursday)

A friend gave me the advice of trying my hardest to get 20 rejections, in hopes of making me less nervous. Didn't work worth a god damn, but thought I'd offer it up in case it helps you.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after married 17 years, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 1709 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
better4me
Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 6:32 PM, August 9th (Friday)

slight t/j
A friend gave me the advice of trying my hardest to get 20 rejections, in hopes of making me less nervous. Didn't work worth a god damn, but thought I'd offer it up in case it helps you.

I've met that challenge without even trying!! My friends made me stop counting as I was just adding "Here's another funny story about my dating life" every time!


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3019 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
Got2GO
Member
Member # 26576
Default  Posted: 7:13 PM, August 9th (Friday)

As a friend of mine told me she doesn't worry at all while doing OLD. She says that she just enjoys the fact that she can get some new idiot to buy her dinner at a nice restaurant at least every two weeks. Then just block their calls!
Girl, go get your free meal and don't stress over it!


BS (me) 47
WS (him) 70
Together 7 1/2 years
married 6 years
no children together
Happily divorced 1/29/13!

Posts: 107 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: got2go
HURTAGAIN1981
Member
Member # 35178
Default  Posted: 8:59 AM, August 10th (Saturday)

Haha I like that idea of trying to get rejected. I think I would do far too good a job if it though!

Call me crazy, but I usually turn down the invitation of dinner, I don't really feel comfortable eating in front of strangers. Also I never let them pay for anything, if they buy me a drink I make sure to buy one back


Posts: 296 | Registered: Mar 2012
Topic Posts: 13