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User Topic: IC appointment tomorrow...
hexed
Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 12:33 PM, August 8th (Thursday)

I made one. I'm not sure why but I know I need to go.

What do you talk about with your IC when you're not sure why you're going?


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8407 | Registered: Apr 2008
little turtle
Member
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 12:35 PM, August 8th (Thursday)

Talk about what is going on in your life. How you're feeling about things. I'm sure one thing will lead to another.


Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4131 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 12:38 PM, August 8th (Thursday)

I'm not sure why but I know I need to go.

Sounds like a good place to start to me!

(((hexed)))


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5611 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
wildbananas
Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 12:54 PM, August 8th (Thursday)

I'd just lead off with that... you don't know why you're there but you know you need to be. I'm sure he/she will be able to ask whatever leading questions are required to get you from point A forward. It's what they do.

(((hexie)))


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15362 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
veelop5
Member
Member # 11089
Default  Posted: 2:03 PM, August 8th (Thursday)

Hexed...talk about what you feel at the moment....sorry that you are having a tough time...you always help me when I am down...please feel free to message me if you must!! good luck at IC.


ME-38
XH-40
3 beautiful boys (20,19 & 15)
Update: Moved in to my own apartment 8/7/2012
Divorce final 3/27/2013

Posts: 1085 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Pennsylvania
silentlyscreamin
New Member
Member # 34792
Default  Posted: 2:11 PM, August 8th (Thursday)

I just had my first IC appt yesterday. Usually the 1st session is taking some background information, what you do for living, kids, relationships with family, etc and then you may start to get some questions about how you are feeling, what led you to call, etc. You will be surprised how fast it goes and how it can all pour out, especially if it is a good "fit" with your counselor. I actually just posted about it under the Divorce section. Although I felt sick about going and still feel a little sick about how my conversation went, it was a good kind of sick if that makes sense and I say that because "change is not comfortable" but that doesn't make it a bad thing. Good luck with your appointment and don't filter!


Married 5 years
DD 12/31/11 EA
DD#2 12/27/12 PA, started 9/12, ended 12/12
Status: living together due to finances but I feel continued anger and am leaning 95% toward divorce

Posts: 49 | Registered: Feb 2012
hexed
Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 2:34 PM, August 8th (Thursday)

i should add that this is the counselor we use for famly counseling so I know her and like her.


veelop IMs with you aren't a 'must'. its always a pleasure. nice to 'see' you.

i'm not really down. just feeling unsettled, not quite right KWIM?


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8407 | Registered: Apr 2008
veelop5
Member
Member # 11089
Default  Posted: 2:37 PM, August 8th (Thursday)

I meant if you would like to....boy my words come out wrong sometimes!!! Anytime...anytime...


ME-38
XH-40
3 beautiful boys (20,19 & 15)
Update: Moved in to my own apartment 8/7/2012
Divorce final 3/27/2013

Posts: 1085 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Pennsylvania
InnerLight
Member
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 11:07 PM, August 8th (Thursday)

The situation you shared with us about your guy and the party at your home with that opportunistic ex was pretty unsettling. That comes to my mind, but I imagine there are many possibilities.

I've had appointments like this... I just start with saying what I feel at the moment, and I try to stay present to the next feeling that comes up after that. It's great to be really listened to, it can help so much come up and out including our own answers to questions we didn't know we had.

Good luck.


BS, age 53, d-day 6-2-08, divorced after 17 years and 20 together. dating again, living in the sticks with a cat. It's taking a long time to create new dreams and a new life but it is slowly coming together.

Posts: 5735 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Rural California
hexed
Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 2:06 PM, August 9th (Friday)

IL

staying present in the now was a theme of the session. it was very good. it did not go in the direction I expected. it was HUGELY helpful.

I addressed the issue with TG and the opportunistic X. we covered my being to damn busy with work, my own insecurities and falling back in to some old patterns I wasn't seeing. She really helped me identify a couple things. Won't be able to see her again for about month but I'm glad I went.


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8407 | Registered: Apr 2008
click4it
Member
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 2:14 PM, August 9th (Friday)

hexed - glad your session was helpful. It always great when you have a counselor that really "gets it". Its hard to make that step to go see one, but well worth it. ((hexed))


Me: 41
Two boys: 17 and 13
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?


Posts: 25509 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
little turtle
Member
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 4:29 PM, August 9th (Friday)

I'm glad you had a successful session. Did you make another appointment for next month?


Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4131 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
Topic Posts: 12