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User Topic: Conduct in meetings...am I just old??
HFSSC
Member
Member # 33338
Default  Posted: 1:55 PM, August 8th (Thursday)

Something has been bugging me at work for a while. And I think I've decided that I'm just getting old, because it seems to be younger people who I've noticed.

During meetings, I pay attention and don't conduct side conversations. If I need to ask someone a question, I write a note or whisper as quietly as possible. And if I miss something because I wasn't paying attention I wait until the meeting is over and ask the question privately so as not to waste everyone else's time. Oh, and I write everything on my calendar and show up to scheduled meetings without needing a reminder.

But apparently, these things are passé'??? My coworkers will show up anywhere from 5 to 30 minutes late. Last week, two of them showed up an hour late, then had the balls to say, "no one called to remind us." They will carry on conversations in normal speaking voice, then stop the meeting to ask a question that was answered while they were running their mouths.

WTF? I can't fathom how they think this is okay. (Except that our boss hasn't said anything to them. ). It drives me nuts but I don't want to be that grouchy busybody who tells everyone how to behave.

So I just vent here. Thanks for reading.


Me, 47
Him, 40 (JMSSC)
married 17 years. In R. We are making it. The past does not define who we are today.

Posts: 2699 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: South Carolina
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 1:57 PM, August 8th (Thursday)

There are 50-somethings at my office who will behave as you have described, and younger staff who are prompt, focused, and polite. It's not an age thing - it's a respect/entitlement thing.

And it drives me crazy, too.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 24799 | Registered: Aug 2011
metamorphisis
Administrator
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 1:59 PM, August 8th (Thursday)

HFSSC.. I don't think it's generational. They are just assholes.



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 44287 | Registered: Sep 2006
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, August 8th (Thursday)

We have a VP here who does this. She drives me batty. Our former CFO actually used to call her out on it. She'd look her dead in the eye and say, totally deadpan, "We just went over that" and then move on. It was amazing.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13658 | Registered: Jul 2011
tushnurse
Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 2:49 PM, August 8th (Thursday)

That is just flat out unacceptable behavior. I would say your boss needs to tighten the reins.
Really in this day and age there is no excuse for missing meetings, or showing up late because you forgot. Everyone has smart phones, and you program that stuff in.
If you boss allows all the chatter then it's on him to stop it. I personally would tell them to leave.
Now teleconferences....I have a different take on, many times it seems the less important stuff is saved for those, and I find myself doing anything but behaving during those...


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Posts: 8100 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Crescita
Member
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 6:03 PM, August 8th (Thursday)

It sounds like people are being included in meetings where they don’t really belong. They probably view the meetings as torture or a break from work if they just have a few questions and otherwise don’t pay attention. Maybe talk to your boss about limiting attendance to those who are more attentive and involved and just send out a memo with necessary information to the rest

Posts: 3327 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
HFSSC
Member
Member # 33338
Default  Posted: 7:53 PM, August 8th (Thursday)

Actually, they really need to be in these meetings and also need to be paying effing attention.

We are a nursing home/rehab center. They are 2 of the clinical managers. We have a daily team meeting with all of the clinical managers and department heads, to discuss the previous 24 hour reports, clinical issues and the daily schedule. We have a weekly nursing management meeting to discuss in-depth clinical issues and things like falls, weight loss, pressure ulcers, etc.

They just seem to think they need to be led by the hand for everything, and I just can't understand it. My boss is trying to teach them and help them become leaders, but I think she's going to lose her patience pretty soon. I just don't know how much longer I can keep my mouth shut before I grab them both, knock their heads together and tell them to shut up and act like grown ups.


Me, 47
Him, 40 (JMSSC)
married 17 years. In R. We are making it. The past does not define who we are today.

Posts: 2699 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: South Carolina
Dark Inertia
Member
Member # 30727
Default  Posted: 7:57 PM, August 8th (Thursday)

The sidebar chit chat in normal speaking voices annoy me the most. Other than it being disrespectful and distracting it draaaags a meeting out... which in the middle of the work day is not that bad but when you are 2 minutes away from getting off work it kind of starts to cut into ME time.

[This message edited by Dark Inertia at 7:57 PM, August 8th (Thursday)]


"If I listened earlier, I wouldn't be here. But that's just the trouble with me. I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it."

Posts: 1204 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: The Ohio
UnexpectedSong
Member
Member # 21761
Default  Posted: 9:28 PM, August 8th (Thursday)

It's up to your boss to set the tone. I work with young startup-type engineers and no one behaves that way.


WW(SA)
"Feedback is the breakfast of champions." - Boris Becker

Posts: 6084 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: California
movingforward777
Member
Member # 6850
Default  Posted: 11:34 PM, August 8th (Thursday)

What drives me nuts is when they can't put down their damn phone and have to be texting/scrolling through things throughout the meeting!
I find that very rude!! I chair a meeting a couple of times a month and don't tolerate the side conversations...I tend to stop and "centre" them out by waiting until they notice that I have stopped talking...
People have a limited amount of time to attend meetings, usually a good sized adjenda to cover, and it is so annoying when people can't get down to work and get things done....


You can't reach for anything new if your hands are still full of yesterday's junk.......Louise Smith

Posts: 4838 | Registered: Apr 2005 | From: Ontario
FeelsSoRight
Member
Member # 28377
Default  Posted: 8:30 AM, August 9th (Friday)

Don't know if you can suggest it, but in our meetings we have operating rules...no sidebars, all technology turned off or put on silent, misery is optional (meaning if you have to go to the bathroom, just go and don't stop the meeting to announce it), etc. ad nauseum. However, these are decided upon when the team/group is formed and they are printed as a header or footer on all our agendas. That being said, many joined after those were put in place. Also, it would probably help to reiterate these operating rules very quickly at the beginning of the meetings. We have had penalties for say, a cell phone going off...make them sing "I'm a Little Teapot" or something equally embarrassing (agreed upon in the operating rules so they can't say they weren't warned)

All of this being said, there are a couple of higher up execs who will carry on sidebars while someone else is speaking. Most of the time, their rudeness is just ignored. But I have seen the speaker just stop in the middle of what they are saying and stare at the two talking to each other. Then the others started staring and finally the two having the sidebar noticed and were embarrassed enough to stop.


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Him - H - 47
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Posts: 1450 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: MO
StillGoing
Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 11:25 AM, August 9th (Friday)

Invite a few PhD wielding engineers to those meetings, I guarantee the result will generate over ten million youtube hits if you record it, and one of those young people will cry.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7419 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 11:40 AM, August 9th (Friday)

2 of the clinical managers.

Are these the same people who call in sick all the time?


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13658 | Registered: Jul 2011
HFSSC
Member
Member # 33338
Default  Posted: 2:00 PM, August 9th (Friday)

Nope. That's an entirely different rant and entirely different group of people.

I know it sounds like I hate my job. I really do love it and most of the people I work with.


Me, 47
Him, 40 (JMSSC)
married 17 years. In R. We are making it. The past does not define who we are today.

Posts: 2699 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: South Carolina
FaithFool
Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 2:16 PM, August 10th (Saturday)

make them sing "I'm a Little Teapot" or something equally embarrassing

^^^


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Divorced Dec 26, 2011
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Posts: 17294 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 15