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User Topic: Std tests...
Morhurt
Member
Member # 40166
Default  Posted: 1:31 PM, August 9th (Friday)

After two months I finally went to the dr today to be tested. H went right away (same dr). He says everything can be tested for with blood and urine, no swabs. Is that true? Seems hard to believe. Also, I've been feeling very tender in that area (TMI), I told him that and he just shrugged and said that unless there are lesions there's nothing to do. But he didn't even look!
I'm feeling dismissed. Please tell me he's right and I don't need to worry. :(


Me: BS
Him: FWS
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.

Posts: 960 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Canada
EvenKeel
Member
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 1:44 PM, August 9th (Friday)

Is this your GP or did you go to a GYN?

I went to my GYN for my testing. They spent a LOT of time talking to me before they even did an exam to arm me with information/education.

They did an internal exam, swabs as well as the lab work-up.

I am sorry your dr was dismissive and not more compassionate. It is hard enough to go to that appointment without additional BS.

If you are not satisfied, please try another dr or a clinic who specializes.


Eyes are useless if the mind is blind.


Posts: 2185 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
Morhurt
Member
Member # 40166
Default  Posted: 1:47 PM, August 9th (Friday)

You can't see a gyn here without a referral from from the family dr. My only other option is a walk in clinic. That would be worse I'm pretty sure.
:(


Me: BS
Him: FWS
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.

Posts: 960 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Canada
krazy8516
Member
Member # 40076
Default  Posted: 1:50 PM, August 9th (Friday)

Morhurt, do you have a Planned Parenthood in your area?

They will do STD testing (for a fee). I don't have insurance so I go there for my yearly well-woman exam. They've always been very professional/ nice and it might be worth a shot if you're near one.


me: BW, 30
him: WH, 25
us: edging closer to R every day

married 2y, together 2.5y
1 beautiful daughter, 23m

"Someday soon, I'm going to put my life together; Win or lose, I'm starting over again."


Posts: 368 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Texas
roses303
Member
Member # 40161
Default  Posted: 1:51 PM, August 9th (Friday)

Do you have any planned parenthood clinics nearby? They usually take both drop in and appointments. The clinicians at PP are usually very informed and compassionate and they deal with this type of thing all the time.


Me: BW - 46
Him: WH - 49
MOW: my BFF from college and good friend for 25 yrs
Married 14 years, 2 Tweens
DD: 5/20/13 2 year long EA/PAs (one 7 yrs ago and one this past year)
Status: day by day, in MC, working on R

Posts: 141 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: roses303
OneFootForward
Member
Member # 39136
Default  Posted: 1:59 PM, August 9th (Friday)

I went to one of the Family Clinics in our area, with a $30 co-pay for my BCBS insurance. The attending physician was very compassionate. She even asked if I need a referral to a MC or IC. They cant test for some STD's unless there is a sore (ewww), but the usual suspects they can ID with blood and urine sample (for guys). I then got a $400 bill where my insurance did not cover the lab charges. BCBS rep said our plan did not cover that sort of thing. It would pay if there was a diagnosis and a treatment, but just to check... I have to pay.

My WS went to the county clinic about three weeks later. They saw her for a $3.00 sitting fee. She said the attending nurse was very compassionate but the whole thing was very humiliating. They did blood, urine and swabs. She went back a week later, paid another $3.00 sitting fee, and got a clean bill of health.

All that said, check to see what your policy DOES cover. Not saying dont get checked (because you need to) but make sure you are not caught aware.


Me: 42 BS
Her: 41 EMA
Married: 16 years
D-Day#1: 04/17/13
D-Day#2: 05/8/13
Children: 9,5 (girls)
Om: High School Flame
"Marital problems doesn't make someone a cheater just like financial problems doesn't make someone a thief"

Posts: 71 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Mobile, AL
Healing2012
Member
Member # 35238
Default  Posted: 2:05 PM, August 9th (Friday)

I was lucky that I was tested during my annual exam at the GYN. She asked what all I wanted to be tested for - that some could be done by swab while she did my regular exam, but others needed blood work. I opted for everything.

It sounds like you might need to find a more compassionate doctor. I know how humiliating it can feel to relay the story to people, but in the end you will probably feel more at peace if you've been tested for everything.


BS: Me (41)
WS: Husband (47)
Married 9 years
Two children 6 & 17 (my stepson)
D-day #1: 12/18/11
D-day #2: 8/26/12 (still in contact w/ OW)
Status: Separated - not R, not D.

Posts: 359 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Midwest
maxandsen
Member
Member # 37173
Default  Posted: 2:12 PM, August 9th (Friday)

I'm sorry you had a bad experience :(

My doctor did not do a vaginal exam and also told me that everything would should up through blood and urine. I found out that i had herpes but never and still haven't had an outbreak. If my doctor would have only done a vaginal then i would not have known.

My doctor told me that blood and urine is the only 100% way to know for certain. I hope this helps.

((Hugs))


Me: 40
FWH: 51
Married 12 years
DDay: Jan 2012
A: One year
S: 6 weeks before he pulled his head out
R: March 2012
On the bumpy road to happy

Posts: 67 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: USA
Kelany
Member
Member # 34755
Default  Posted: 2:14 PM, August 9th (Friday)

You need a blood test and a pelvic exam for swabs. Its a must. Many tests require swabs.

I've been tested twice in the past year. I would go to a clinic, its better than not knowing. Explain you need the test due to an unfaithful partner. All my staff were understanding and gentle.

Full panel testing includes:

HIV
Herpies
HPV
Hepatitis A, B, C
Chlamydia
Gonorrhea
Tric
Syphilis

I was clean of STD's but got numerous yeast infections and bacterial vaginosis from my fwh.

Please please get tested.


BS - Me
SA/FWH Him
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking


Posts: 2031 | Registered: Feb 2012
Ashland13
Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, August 9th (Friday)

It seems the more thorough you can be, the better an outcome. Amazingly terrible things can come from undetected STD's, in some cases, things like cancer.

I don't like how you got shrugged off, it wasn't professional and I think could have been kinder.

FWIW, nearly Exh wouldn't go and was horrified that I suggested such a thing.

The area we live in has a family planning center that I hear is very compassionate, maybe your area does, too. There are also walk in general medical clinics and women's counseling places.

It's such a personal thing to have to go and say, though.

I hope everything will be ok and I commend you for having it done.


Ashland 13

You gave me nothing and now it's all I've got - Bono

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2306 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
nestlee
Member
Member # 39871
Default  Posted: 3:13 PM, August 9th (Friday)

Do you have a std clinic around you. They will do every std test their is. I went there it was great. I picked up a lot of std pamphlets..great information.


A woman needs a man..Like a fish needs a Bycicle.

Posts: 71 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Canada
Morhurt
Member
Member # 40166
Default  Posted: 3:30 PM, August 9th (Friday)

I'm still confused. :(
I looked at the requisition form, looks like chlamidia, gonorrhea, Hep C (I had hep A from food as a youth) and HIV. That's it (and iron because I'm chronically anemic). I think I may have a yeast infection or something but he was in such a hurry to get rid of me, I didn't say anything.
He's usually very compassionate. I went and saw him the day I found out and he seemed quite caring. :( I'm casual friends with his wife, that may be part of what's going on.
We live in a pretty small town, the idea of going to planned parenthood is scary. I feel pissed off that I made the step of going in and he couldn't just be thorough. I asked three times if he was sure there no reason for a swab.
I'm so mad at H that I have to go through this because of him. He feels super shitty about it, and he should!!


Me: BS
Him: FWS
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.

Posts: 960 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Canada
solus sto
Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 3:44 PM, August 9th (Friday)

Another disease, which I don't see mentioned, is trichomoniasis. It's detected by swab only.

Group A beta-hemolytic strep is tested in urine; it is usually not an issue unless you're pregnant, in which case it can pose huge risk to the newborn.


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 53, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8888 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
hathnofury
Member
Member # 32550
Default  Posted: 3:56 PM, August 9th (Friday)

Just so we are clear, because a couple people said urine and blood is all that is needed -

THAT IS NOT TRUE! SWABS ARE REQUIRED FOR WOMEN if you want a FULL STD PANEL.

The only way you can test for HPV is with a swab. So that all by itself tells you if you only got urine and blood as a female, you didn't get tested for everything. I won't go into other tests, because this is enough to know that if the swab is absent, something is already missing.

There is no official list of tests for a STD panel, thus if you just ask for a full panel, different docs will request different tests and tell you different things. A starter list, if you wanted everything, would include HIV, Syphilis, both Herpes (which you will likely have one strain because most people do), Chlamydia, Hepatitis a/b/c and Gonorrhea. In addition, if you are female, you should also consider HPV tests, any bacterial vaginosis tests, bacterial STDs (including ureaplasma, mycoplasma genitalium, trichomonas, gardnerella, mobiluncus mulieris, and mobiluncus curtisi), yeast tests (c. tropicalis, c. krusei, c. dubliniensus, c. glabrata, c. parapsilosis, c. albicans.) that are available to females.

I'm so sorry you had that experience. STD testing because of partner infidelity is already bad enough. I would highly recommend you go see a OB or go to a Planned Parenthood Clinic (or county clinic) and get all the tests they have as well as address any fears of any kind of infection you have symptoms for. (((Hugs)))


BS 43, SAWH 38. M 15years, together 17. Body count in the triple digits. Both in recovery, trying to R.
Three kids under age 11.

Posts: 1486 | Registered: Jun 2011
DrtBoss
Member
Member # 26638
Default  Posted: 4:09 PM, August 9th (Friday)

Please do whatever it takes to get fully tested (swab, visual exam & blood). I was fully tested after Dday #2 and tested positive for BV (Bacterial Vaginosis), Chlamydia and Trichomoniasis. Fucktard didn't get tested until after I tested positive....what a charmer.

After Dday #3 (yes, I was a slow learner), I was tested again (was clean....thank God) and have chosen to be tested at my yearly exams since. My personal health and being here for my children is priceless to me.

Best of luck to you!


Me: BW-43
Him: WS-40
Dday #1: 9/2/2009 (OW #1 & #2)
Dday #2: 11/15/2009 (OW #3, #4 & #5)
Dday #3 (False R): 2/3/2012 (OW #6)
Separated/Divorcing: 2/3/2012
Divorce Finalized: 5/8/2014

~ From my pain comes wisdom ~


Posts: 82 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: USA
doesitgetbetter
Member
Member # 18429
Default  Posted: 4:11 PM, August 9th (Friday)

There is a nasty STD out there called HPV, that caused cervical cancer in women and oral/throat cancer in men. You can NOT test for this with bloodwork or urine, it HAS to be done vaginally. And even then, HPV can show up years later, so it's VERY important that you stick with your annual exams and watch them carefully! Also, let your WH know that he needs to be aware of any changes in his throat/mouth. Some dentists are even good enough to catch the first signs of what is HPV in men.... but only after it's turned into cancer. There's no test for men for HPV at all though.


DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - FWS
Us - Committed
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
"Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." Isaiah 48:10

Posts: 3859 | Registered: Feb 2008
Morhurt
Member
Member # 40166
Default  Posted: 4:17 PM, August 9th (Friday)

I talked to H and he was very upset for me. He's insisting we go to a walk in clinic together today, as I feel unable to deal with this myself. Going to my family dr who already knew was hard enough.
Should H be retested also? It was this same dr that tested him so maybe he didn't get a full panel either?
As an aside, it's been over a year since he had intercourse with anyone besides me.


Me: BS
Him: FWS
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.

Posts: 960 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Canada
Gemini71
Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 8:20 PM, August 9th (Friday)

Yes, you BOTH need to be tested again. Trichomoniasis is a bacterial infection that often has no symptoms. When it does in women, it resembles a yeast infection. It is only detectable by a swab of vaginal fluids, or penile fluids in the case of your hubby. BOTH partners must be treated at the same time, or you will keep reinfecting each other.


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1878 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
Morhurt
Member
Member # 40166
Default  Posted: 8:22 PM, August 9th (Friday)

We went to a walk in and saw a dr (that we kind of know) and H told him a watered down version of what I needed and why. He totally agreed that I needed swabs and seemed surprised that my family dr (they know each other well) hadn't done them. He was very reassuring and proffessional.
Obviously I'm mad at H for why I had to go, but I was so glad that he arranged it, came woth me and took the rest of the day off.
Thank you all for the info and support.


Me: BS
Him: FWS
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.

Posts: 960 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Canada
Kelany
Member
Member # 34755
Default  Posted: 8:44 PM, August 9th (Friday)

I'm so glad you went to another clinic.


BS - Me
SA/FWH Him
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking


Posts: 2031 | Registered: Feb 2012
solus sto
Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 11:15 PM, August 9th (Friday)

Just to build on a couple of things: there is a blood test for HPV; it's very inaccurate. Most docs prefer visual and swab ( actually, mine uses a bristly brush).

And yes, HPV can cause oral/head/neck cancer--but not just in men. Oral STDs are rampant--my first STD ( wow, that sounds like a twisted baby book entry) was oral trich. I was VERY ill for over a year before it appeared on Pap. (It does not respond to typical antibiotics given for sore throats.) Because the OW was a hooker, my doc is hypervigilant about my throat infections now; high risk partner=high risk of other nasty sequelae.


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 53, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8888 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
kickboxer
Member
Member # 39858
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, August 10th (Saturday)

I'm happy to hear your husband went with you and has been providing the support he needs to give you to overcome this mess.

I went to a clinic for my birth control pills when I was in college and didn't have health insurance. I was very pleased with the care I received.


BW - 42 (Me)
WH - 39 (2 ONS, 6m EA)
Married 13 years, 3 children
DD: 7/13/13
Status: Rugsweeping, I guess.

Posts: 248 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Somewhere Out There
Painfuljourney
Member
Member # 40208
Default  Posted: 12:27 PM, August 10th (Saturday)

I got tested by the gyn office. I got an internal exam, they do the pap smear and that can detect the warts one that can cause cervical cancer and maybe a few others, then I got blood work done. So I think I was tested for all STD's including HIV and Hepatitis.


BS (me) - 44
WH - 46
DD - July 1, 2013
2 daughters, 14 and 10

Posts: 102 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Southwest
DollheartDead
New Member
Member # 40234
Default  Posted: 7:46 PM, August 12th (Monday)

I am so sorry to hear this. I am so sorry you are here along with the rest of us. I know this is the most awful and loney time in anyone's life.

I just went on Friday (2 days post DDay) for my full STD panel and Doc was very compassionate. Full blood and swabs done as well as PAP, WS also went and did blood and urine samples. I just hope I do not get a call, if I don't hear back it's all clean. In late March I know I was clean for blood bourne illness as I gave blood which is screened but I guess something could be missed, let's hope not.

I started getting BV infections 5 years ago and now I know why; that's when the cheating started. Technically it's not considered an STD but a lot of woemn get it if their partner sleeps around. Take care of yourself, take time for yourself. Do not blame yourself, this was all brought on by selfishness on your WS's part. WS and I are doing MC as well as doing a TON of talking on our own, more than we have communicated in at least 5 years. I look forward to each day, sometimes terrified by what might happen but also hopeful that things can and hopefully will get better. ((Hugs)) I really hope you are OK.


DDay # 1, Aug 7, 2013
DDay #2, Oct 30, 2013
Married(if you can call it that):12 years in November
Together since 1998, thought I knew him
"You can try to suck me dry, but there's nothing left to suck"

Posts: 15 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 24