I'm just stuck.
It's been over 3 years since DD and i still feel inadequate.
I still think about it almost daily. How he wanted her (had her). About how i compare to her. Whether he would rather be with her or someone else.
I feel paranoid every time he so much as glances at another woman even it is just that, a glance. I feel like i will never be good enough. I'm insanely jealous over nothing.
He's said some mean things, my stomach wasn't toned enough, he had more fun going out with out me and other things. He denies these are true and that he was just lashing out at me because he was unhappy in himself but i can't believe him. Why say those things if there isn't a hint of truth in them?
He has ADD. Took him over a year to read the shirley glass book despite my begging. Said we would go back to marriage counselling but couldn't be bothered to arrange it so the next he asked i said no. I wasn't prepared to put myself in a position of hope to be let down again.
He is open and honest as far as i know. I still check on him, i never find anything. He tolerates my mood swings, admits full responsibility, never blames me for it happening or the results i.e. me being crazy, or so it feels to me.
Do i need to just admit to myself that i'm never going to get over this no matter how hard he tries?