Wayward Side
User Topic: is it time to ask for child support?
Member # 39005
Default  Posted: 9:40 PM, August 11th (Sunday)

I haven't been on in the last few days cuz my DD and I went camping with some friends...but I am happy to say that my BH joined us on Friday evening and stayed with us all Saturday before heading home to go to work. My DD was very excited when daddy showed up (we wanted to surprise her) and it felt good being on vacation together like a normal family.

That being said, BH is still not ready to let me move back home and we are still in limbo land. I have been applying for a new job and have my first interview on Tuesday!!

Since I will be at a new job we will have to pay for childcare. I am hoping once I have a new job I will be making more money, but am concerned about how I will pay for childcare on top of all my other bills.

My question is this...since my BH doesn't seem like he will be letting me home anytime soon, should I start thinking about trying to get some child support from him? And should I actually go through the court, or just talk to him and see if we can come up with our own agreement?

I am worried about what this step may do for R, but at the same time don't even feel like we are in R so maybe it doesn't matter anyway....just wondering what others think. Thanks!

"I need to be redeemed to the one I've sinned against because he's all I ever knew of love"

Posts: 836 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Massachusetts
Member # 35566
Default  Posted: 9:57 PM, August 11th (Sunday)

Glad you had a nice weekend, and good luck Tuesday.

Interesting topic, I was going to post something along these lines this evening, and will do later.

Personally, I would speak to him about it, and try to come to an agreement together. Working towards the common good of the kids is a shared responsibility.

Me: fWH/BH 46

Separated transitioning to D

Posts: 725 | Registered: May 2012 | From: L.A.
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 5:46 AM, August 12th (Monday)

I would speak to him about it, and try to come to an agreement together. Working towards the common good of the kids is a shared responsibility.


Good luck with the interview!

Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."

Posts: 37574 | Registered: Sep 2007
Member # 36684
Default  Posted: 6:05 AM, August 12th (Monday)

I agree with BC and AN.
See if you can do it together.

And Good Luck with the interview!!

I am worried about what this step may do for R

I understand this concern. But R or not you gotta take care of the kiddo!!

If you feel funny taking the $$ from him, maybe he could pay the Childcare facility directly instead.

FWS me 36 (recovering addict)
BS him 39 AFrayedKnot
Together 7 years
2 children

"Your secrets keep you sick"

Posts: 1133 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: 221B
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 7:40 AM, August 12th (Monday)

Y'all had a child together. Both parents are responsible for raising and providing for that child. R or no R. You guys need to have a discussion about this. And like broevil suggested, maybe he can pay the childcare center directly as opposed to giving it to you and then him only guessing as to how you spend it.

I would suggest talking to your husband first. If and when an agreement can't be made, take the next step.

Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

"What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, what if you fly?

Posts: 6227 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
New Member
Member # 39673
Default  Posted: 7:43 PM, August 12th (Monday)

Yes, by all means, discuss it with him and try to reach an agreement. But talk to a lawyer before you make any commitments to him. Many custodial parents assume far too little about the non-custodial parent's obligations to support the children. Note those last three words: support the children. That's why it's called child support, and that's why you should not accept too little. If you do, you're cheating your children, and you probably will not know if you are accepting to little without legal advice.

Lecture over. Hang in there.

Resolute Husband

Posts: 37 | Registered: Jun 2013
Topic Posts: 6