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New Beginnings
User Topic: What Should I Do Tonight?
ajsmom
Member
Member # 17460
Frustrated  Posted: 1:27 PM, August 12th (Monday)

Today is my 24th almostversary and I’m trying to figure out what to do with myself this evening. Though I’m holding up pretty well today (work will do that for ya) I know later in the evening is when it’ll get tough.

The last thing I want to do is go all Lindsay Lohan on a bottle of Tanqueray and wake up with a headache tomorrow. This isn’t my first rodeo with this date, but for some reason I find myself in a funk.

We had a nice tradition of heading to the restaurant owned by the folks who put our reception together for our annual anniversary dinner. We’d plan for it and spurge and it was always quite nice, and 9 times out of 10, these friends would join us for dessert and/or a night cap. I thought about going there for some cocktails and appetizers, but technically he got them in the divorce (he helps their son coach a basketball team) and it might look funny with me being there alone as it’s a little late to round up a peep to join me.

So friends, should I meet up with some pals for the weekly Monday Night 45˘ Wing Night and some brewski’s (after all, Leine’s Summer Shandy season is almost over) at the local watering hole just to be with people ... OR ... should I head to the grocery store on the way home, grab a nice steak, hit up the Redbox, put on my uglies and just chill over a good dinner and relax?

Or???...

AJ's MOM

[This message edited by ajsmom at 1:28 PM, August 12th (Monday)]


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21039 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 1:33 PM, August 12th (Monday)

I vote that you look up the nicest massage place in town and book one for tonight.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13679 | Registered: Jul 2011
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 1:38 PM, August 12th (Monday)

I vote that you look up the nicest massage place in town and book one for tonight.
If you do, be sure to ask for Sven.

Are you feeling social? Uncertain? I think you should plan yourself space and comfort so you can take whatever comes without concern or embarrassment.

And they do sell Leine's at the grocery store, you know. You can get the summer shandy AND the nice steak.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 24946 | Registered: Aug 2011
gma56
Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 1:39 PM, August 12th (Monday)

Go with the friends if you're up to it. You'll have a few laughs and that is always a good thing.


Gma


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. I lost my family but gained a chance to be happy again.

Posts: 20354 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
Crescita
Member
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 1:40 PM, August 12th (Monday)

I'd do the wing night, but you also need to reclaim that anniversary spot. It will continue to haunt you until you make some new memories there. Maybe set something up to today to go reclaim it next week.

Posts: 3334 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
HURTAGAIN1981
Member
Member # 35178
Default  Posted: 1:45 PM, August 12th (Monday)

I vote going for a few drinks with friends. It will eliminate any chance of you getting caught up in your thoughts if you stay home. Go out, have fun and forget. The day will soon be over and it will be tomorrow before you know it.

Posts: 296 | Registered: Mar 2012
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 1:46 PM, August 12th (Monday)

I think I'd make myself join friends if I was even slightly inclined. You'll laugh, have some fun, and I think it will help cushion the impact.

I've done the Lohan thing too, and especially on dates like this, always regretted.

((ajs))


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4456 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
burnt_toast
Member
Member # 16891
Default  Posted: 3:29 PM, August 12th (Monday)

Why not combine the massage and the friends suggestions and book a day at the spa with a couple of GFs?


It is what it is.

Posts: 4699 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Quelque part
nutmegkitty
Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 3:44 PM, August 12th (Monday)

If I were in your shoes, I'd head to the local place to be among friends.

Alternately, a massage or mani/pedi is a nice way to relax and treat yourself.


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2585 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
gypsybird87
Member
Member # 39193
Default  Posted: 3:50 PM, August 12th (Monday)

This may sound weird, but whichever you feel more inclined to do, do the opposite.

For me at least, I've found that the times I don't feel like being with people are the times I really should... because if I follow my inclination and stay home alone, then I have a bad night. Emotional, lonely, pity party etc. Ugh.

Times I'm eager to be with people are usually okay, though sometimes it can get overwhelming and I feel drained, like the effort of being "up" and "on" is too much. If you go out be sure you have the option/ability to cut the night short if you need to (ie- drive your own car vs riding with a friend who may want to stay out later).

Whatever you decide, hope you have a wonderful night!


Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life. ~ JK Rowling


Posts: 746 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
FaithFool
Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 4:28 PM, August 12th (Monday)

Wings, beer, friends.

And make a plan to go have dinner at that other place another night.

Time to reclaim.


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17313 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
NoTriangles
Member
Member # 35985
Default  Posted: 10:14 PM, August 12th (Monday)

I hope you had a beautiful evening of friends and peace and 'self'.


Me: Finding my Sunlight
Him: Traitor in my Foxhole
Let go or get dragged.

Posts: 1251 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: a state of consciousness
hexed
Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 12:06 AM, August 13th (Tuesday)

Thinking of you tonight. Some days are just hard no matter how much time has passed. I hope you've found some peace and perhaps a little happy tonight


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8438 | Registered: Apr 2008
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 7:30 AM, August 13th (Tuesday)

Thinking of you this morning, ajsmom.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 24946 | Registered: Aug 2011
ajsmom
Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 8:44 AM, August 13th (Tuesday)

I chose the steak and movie.

As the afternoon wore on, I just felt like not being around people. The place we go is busy and loud (especially with cheap wings as the draw) and I knew I'd get "Gee, what's wrong, AJ's Mom?" all evening. You all know how difficult it is to retell your story over and over.

I headed to the grocery store and bought a nice beef tenderloin and grilled it myself. Rico always had the grilling duties, so it was a wee bit intimidating. Yet, after Googling "how long to let coals get ready on a grill" I was ready.

Ta da!:

I picked up a Redbox movie (Admission with Tina Fey and Paul Rudd - pretty good, actually) and totally chilled.

I made it. I didn't cry, nor think about him/us much and here I am - a new day in front of me.

Thanks for all the hugs and support, peeps. I swear, this is the best community to be a part of despite how I got here.


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21039 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 8:47 AM, August 13th (Tuesday)


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13679 | Registered: Jul 2011
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:57 AM, August 13th (Tuesday)

That dinner looks AMAZING. Well done, you!


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 24946 | Registered: Aug 2011
ajsmom
Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 9:01 AM, August 13th (Tuesday)

Thanks!

I sent a photo of it to AJ and he responded" "way to own it :) "

I learned a bit too. I used so much charcoal, I could have grilled a whole cow.

So, now I know...


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21039 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
FaithFool
Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 9:03 AM, August 13th (Tuesday)

That steaks looks fantastic.


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17313 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
NoTriangles
Member
Member # 35985
Default  Posted: 9:19 AM, August 13th (Tuesday)

Yum!! Glad you took care of you...


Me: Finding my Sunlight
Him: Traitor in my Foxhole
Let go or get dragged.

Posts: 1251 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: a state of consciousness
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 9:43 AM, August 13th (Tuesday)

That steak looks great! Way to take care of you. There's nothing wrong with chilling by yourself for an evening.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7537 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 9:53 AM, August 13th (Tuesday)

We need a drooling icon.

AJ's right way to own it.

I have to tell you-I love your kid.

Hugs,
K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5013 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 10:07 AM, August 13th (Tuesday)

I came to the party too late last night to comment; I'm glad you made it through.

I agree with the others who said you should reclaim that restaurant!


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 19998 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:29 AM, August 13th (Tuesday)

So, now I know...
Hey -- that's MY line!


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 24946 | Registered: Aug 2011
ajsmom
Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 11:51 AM, August 13th (Tuesday)

Gee, sorry, nik.

It took FOREVER for the coals to cool off enough to bring that bad boy back into the garage.

I should have made Smores for dessert, but the Pinot Grigio did it's job of a subtle sweetness.


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21039 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
better4me
Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 12:02 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

yummy looking steak! Glad you had an enjoyable night with good company (your own)


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3081 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
lynnm1947
Member
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 12:40 PM, August 14th (Wednesday)

I agree with the others who said you should reclaim that restaurant!

I second that emotion. That being said, the steak and accompaniments looked mighty fine.


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 7179 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
Topic Posts: 27