Peach....we are only too happy to listen!!!!
I too had a hubby that was pursued by a venomous spider. She had a plan, saw an opportunity because she had access and spun a very tangled, nasty web. I felt your pain in your vent.
I unfortunately got to have a very long and painful conversation with my venomous OW. She contacted me directly on the night after she showed up unexpectedly at our doorstep....hard to do since we live in a different country....yes please take a moment to let that narcissistic action of hers sink in. She actually got on a plane and wound up here.
When she realized from H and my joint "get the hell out of our lives text" that she no longer had total control over the situation she texted me back directly and actually tired to tell me she had done nothing wrong, that my H was her very best friend in the whole world and why was I taking him away from her????? That their love for one another was pure and strong ( although H has told me she could never say that to him ever ) and why couldn't I just realize this was meant to be???
I took the opportunity to call her out on every point she tried to make. I got to say every nasty, disgusting thing I had pent up inside me, I even called her a whore who had to resort to befriending my hubby when her tactic of surprisingly pushing up against a bathroom door in a far off country and shoving her tongue down his throat didn't have the desired affect she thought it would have on him. To be fair to my H, he fought off her overtly sexual advances on him for over a year before she switched tactics. I also got to call her a narcissistic bitch who cared nothing for the 2 families she destroyed in her wake.
Sadly enough she is so into her self and delusional world that I doubt my words had any affect on her at all. We have had to resort to restraining orders in two country's to keep her at bay.
TMe: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)
Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!