User Topic: 3 Things I would never have believed
Member # 39169
Default  Posted: 3:53 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

If someone had told me the day before d day there are 3 things I would have been so sure of:

1. Mr Triple would never join a hook up site.
2. I would break a land speed record to beat down the door of the closest divorce lawyer.
3. It would not hurt so much as to bring me emotionally to my knees, for so long.

That's why this site is a life saver. You can't possibly imagine your feelings until it happens to you. So even the best of friends and family, no matter how supportive, can't understand you unless it happened to them.

40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013

Be happy with what you have while you work for what you want - Hellen Keller

Posts: 638 | Registered: May 2013
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 3:59 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

I would never have believed... I could attempt suicide or start cutting myself.

I would never have believed... one person could turn my whole world upside down.

I would never have believed... that I could make same one person a PART of my life and not my WHOLE life.

BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
Final Dday 7/11/14 Affair never ended

Posts: 2266 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
Member # 39801
Default  Posted: 4:06 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

I could never have believed my WS would do this to me after knowing what my XWS did to me.

I could never have believed that I would understand why people commit suicide. I totally get it now.

I would never have believed that I would contemplate staying as long as I have.

I cannot be responsible for another's personal growth.
DDay#1 of a "cheatillion" 4/1/13
Divorce final 11/04/13

Posts: 452 | Registered: Jul 2013
Member # 40076
Default  Posted: 4:06 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

I would never have believed:

1) My husband would ever lie to me (except for the obligatory, "No baby, you don't look like you've gained weight!")

2) That I would stay with my husband if I ever caught him cheating on me (I always imagined a "Here's the door - don't let it hit you in the ass on your way out" scenario).

3) That I could be in so much emotional and physical pain for such a long time and live to tell about it.

Life experiences teach you something new every day. Unfortunately, the knowledge isn't always good.

me: BW, 30
him: WH, 25
us: edging closer to R every day

married 2y, together 2.5y
1 beautiful daughter, 23m

"Someday soon, I'm going to put my life together; Win or lose, I'm starting over again."

Posts: 368 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Texas
Member # 39996
Default  Posted: 4:15 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

- I would never have believed that my marriage wasn't perfect, strong and happy had my husbands selfish act not shown me exactly that

- I would never have believed I could show such strength at a time of such horrible, overwhelming hurt.

- I would never have believed I could actually love someone more deeply then I do, even with an A as part of our continuing story.

[This message edited by TxsT at 4:16 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)]

Me: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
Dday: 09/11/2012
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)

Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!

Posts: 605 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: CDN
Member # 38879
Default  Posted: 4:37 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

I would never have believed - I would still love someone who hurt me so deeply, and didn't seem to care.

I would never have believed - I would even try to R with someone who cheated on me.

I would never have believed - That I would have to be strong enough to see that I am enough. Even if he didn't see it.

BS - mid 50's
WH - mid 50's
DDay - 3/2/13 - 2:07pm
TT until 9/02/13
NC broken 4/15/14
2year+ "passionate" EA/PA

Married 30+ years and here I am. Heartbroken.
4/14 Trying to make it thru each day
9/14 - getting better. we

Posts: 217 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Nor Cal
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 4:54 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

I would never have believed...that life could actually be enjoyable after 16 years of hell that I didn't want to acknowledge.

I would never have believed...that I would have the healthy relationship I now have with my mum. She has been my rock during this.

I would never have believed... that you could experience such emotional pain and not only survive but thrive

sure I have my down dips on the rollercoaster but the level bits (and highs) are so much better than what I was living before. I find myself grateful everyday that the hell I was in is almost over.

I live now in my life vs just existing

Me: Awesome - 35.... ummm, not anymore

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou

Posts: 752 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
Member # 36781
Default  Posted: 7:37 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

1. The depth of emotional pain felt from betrayal.

2. I stayed and tried to reconcile after discovering the truth.

3. The man I married would lie to me every day for years.

me: BS
him: WS

D Day: July 27, 2012
Day of first suspicion: 6/7/11
DD#2: November 2, 2012


Posts: 105 | Registered: Sep 2012
New Member
Member # 40234
Default  Posted: 7:45 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

I would never have believed:

1)That someone who promised to love, honor and cherish me has done nothing but damage, lie to and betray me. This is the ultimate test of any marriage.

2)That I could be better because of this, that I am BETTER than this.

3)That the A's might have actually helped our marriage and that we might survive it.

One day at a time... it's a slow painful process and I still don't know how it will end up

DDay # 1, Aug 7, 2013
DDay #2, Oct 30, 2013
Married(if you can call it that):12 years in November
Together since 1998, thought I knew him
"You can try to suck me dry, but there's nothing left to suck"

Posts: 15 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Canada
Member # 36456
Default  Posted: 7:47 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

1) That he could walk away from me and his kids without even trying to work things out.

2) That the pain he caused me could only be compared to the sudden death of my mother 10 years ago.

3) That I would want to be his wife again/still after finding out about his 4 OW and 6 years of lies.

Me (46) WH (42),2 boys 15 & 11
M 18yrs T 22yrs
Separated 10 months (4/12 to 2/13)
Final Total - #1/#2 ONS and #3/#4 EA/PA - left me for #4, didn't know about #2 and 3 until he moved back home
We are solidly in R now

Posts: 792 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Dallas, TX
Member # 13154
Default  Posted: 7:48 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

I could never have believed the depth of pain I felt.

I could never have believed that I would survive through it all, and be thankful for so much (including the painful parts).

I could never have believed that I do not trigger, or hurt anymore!*

* this last one seems like nothing short of a miracle!

Me: BS
Married 24 years
incredible kids
D day: 2006 ... he left to live with OW.
Divorced: 2009
WS + OW: Married 2011

Posts: 355 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: US
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 8:25 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

1. That I would still very deeply love the man that had sex with two other women

2. That I would pinch my skin because physical pain is easier than emotional pain

3. That I would want to stay with someone who confessed all the many different ways he lied to me and betrayed me

I always thought I would just walk away if someone confessed. I've stayed in the past when I suspected things but didn't have proof. But I always thought that if I had proof, I would leave. I didn't though. I still loved him, even with the proof.

30 Bgf
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014

Posts: 1215 | Registered: Jul 2013
Topic Posts: 12