User Topic: your gut, on things in general
Member # 23375
Default  Posted: 4:15 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

How is your gut on things in general?

I am having this issue trusting my gut, seeing things that may not be there and then freaking out.

How good is your gut in general on things that are not necessasarily A related?

I am just your ordinary average everyday sane psycho supergoddess - Liz Phair

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.

Posts: 5137 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Munchkinland
Member # 26465
Default  Posted: 4:16 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

spot on..Usually that is..

There are degrees to which you let people back into your life and degrees to which you let them back into your heart-which, of course, are not the same thing

Posts: 3140 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Indiana
Member # 40076
Default  Posted: 4:23 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

My gut's pretty smart. Or at least it was. Everything from "I bet there's a cop hiding under that overpass today" to "So-and-so's pregnant, isn't she?!" It was my gut that told me my husband was having an affair (well, my gut, and my own past experience with affairs).

Somehow, now that my gut has been proven right, I can't trust it anymore. Not because it was wrong (because it wasn't), but because I don't feel like I can believe anything anymore. My whole world has been shattered, broken into a million little pieces - by the one person I trusted most. My gut is telling me hje's still hiding something (maybe NC hasn't been established after all?). But I realize that this is normal for me to feel after what happened.

So, because I trust nothing these days (not even what I see when I look in the mirror), I've kinda lost faith in my gut too. Sucks, 'cause me and my gut have been together a lot longer than my husband and I....

me: BW, 30
him: WH, 25
us: edging closer to R every day

married 2y, together 2.5y
1 beautiful daughter, 23m

"Someday soon, I'm going to put my life together; Win or lose, I'm starting over again."

Posts: 368 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Texas
Member # 39588
Default  Posted: 4:23 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

I don't know about my gut but I'm way too naive and trust people too easily I think.

Me (BS): 35
Him (fWS): 35
Married 16 years 6 kids ages 15-5
DDay #1 (EA) July '08
DDay #2 (EA/ONS- different OW) May 15, 2013

Finally this is R 8/14/13

"Forgiving is a journey; the deeper the wound, the longer the journey".

Posts: 297 | Registered: Jun 2013
Member # 23375
Default  Posted: 4:31 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

So, because I trust nothing these days (not even what I see when I look in the mirror), I've kinda lost faith in my gut too. Sucks, 'cause me and my gut have been together a lot longer than my husband and I....

This is me now^^^^^

I don't trust anything and I am afraid I am "hearing" things that aren't there, if you know what I mean.

I used to be really good at hearing inflection in people's voices, now I can't even trust that now.

I am afraid to listen to it now.

I am just your ordinary average everyday sane psycho supergoddess - Liz Phair

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.

Posts: 5137 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Munchkinland
Member # 39801
Default  Posted: 4:40 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

I trusted my husband's word over my gut until I just couldn't handle it anymore.
I will not do that ever again.
The gut usually knows.

Then again, a life of paranoia sucks.
People suck.

I cannot be responsible for another's personal growth.
DDay#1 of a "cheatillion" 4/1/13
Divorce final 11/04/13

Posts: 452 | Registered: Jul 2013
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 4:42 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

My gut has turned paranoid too

BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
In R
"If it can be destroyed by the truth, it deserves to be destroyed by the truth." -Carl Sagan

Posts: 2250 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 12:26 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

I told my gut to stfu for a long time. Now I ask, whacha think about this gut...and its always right
Been with him over half my life
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..divorced slut who prefers committed men, specializing in befriending and bopping the fathers of her kids team mates

Posts: 3974 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 6:51 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

My gut feeling is always spot on. I never trust it though. And then my gut is proven right, and I want to smack myself for not trusting it.

29 Bgf
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014

Posts: 733 | Registered: Jul 2013
Member # 39201
Default  Posted: 6:54 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

Gut is always right, I trust it 100%.

Me: BS 46
Him:WH 54
M: 26 yrs
DD 4/29/13
3 kids (25,23,22)

"The truly scary thing about undiscovered lies is that
they have a greater capacity to diminish us than
exposed ones. They erode our strength, our self-esteem, our very foundation

Posts: 80 | Registered: May 2013
Member # 30434
Default  Posted: 7:19 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

Different, but still there, and still correct. Its different now because I have more wisdom to guide me, especially when dealing with people expressing anger and lying. Before I relied on my gut to tell me something wrong but cold explain it or understand it.

WW 47 FOO Issues
DDay 11/09 Coworker
High School Sweethearts
Married 06/91
8 months TT
Sons 19 and 14

My dog farted, startled himself, wondered where the noise came from. I wish my life was as simple.

Posts: 629 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Ches
Member # 28156
Default  Posted: 8:53 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

Gut is always right. The Mind struggles with accepting it. I convince myself, I am probably paranoid. And I am . But it also turns out to be true. Doubting and sure at the same time makes me crazy.

a trigger yesterday

Posts: 858 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: athome
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 9:17 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

Oh it's usually spot on. The funny thing for me is it is now even more atuned to BS and shenanigans than ever before. There are very few folks that I allow to get close to me, for that very reason.

It's amazing how few honest, good, trustworthy people there are in the world.

It's also very helpful with my job, I can always tell when a pt is lying to me, and can usually get the truth out of them, and that in turn helps me help them more. It also allows them to have more trust in me. They know I get it. Whatever it was they felt unsafe revealing.

So yah my Gut, it's helpful.

Him: FWS
Kids: 14 & 16
Married for 21 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 6605 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Member # 39670
Default  Posted: 9:19 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

My gut was SCREAMING at me during their entire 3 month affair, until I finally listened. Found the evidence within minutes. I'm angry that I didn't trust my gut sooner, as my gut has had pretty much a 99% accuracy rate for my entire life. I just have that intuition thing going on, in all aspects. But I ignored it because there was NO WAY my husband would have cheated on me. We were happy, we had everything money couldn't buy, we talked about it often how lucky we were....

Now? My gut is in overdrive and my accuracy rate has gone down because it's so freaking I'm lost in a sense there, not knowing what to believe anymore. Just another thing he took away from me.

Me, BW forty something, DD & DS,
Married to WH (48) 10 years, together 15
D-Day 6.8.13
D-Day #2 9.6.13 Broken NC/TT
D-Day #3 10.23.13 "Full Disclosure"
WH having PA with MW coworker 3.13-6.13

Posts: 620 | Registered: Jun 2013
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 9:58 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

I don't really trust my gut very well as it never told me he was having a LTA. Now it tells me all the time that he may still be cheating and I hate the paronoid feeling.

M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
New Member
Member # 40134
Default  Posted: 10:17 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

That is how I feel, like my gut says one thing but I do the opposite. I just want the feelings of betrayal to go away. Will they ever?

Posts: 12 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Colorado
Member # 36781
Default  Posted: 10:57 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

Oh gut has always been right. But like others here, I have become very paranoid. Oh how I hate that feeling. I no longer trust anyone, even my own gut, which has guided me safely for my whole life.

Sometimes I feel like I want my marriage to work so much that I ignore my gut, only to get hurt again.

Betrayal is so cruel and unnecessary.

me: BS
him: WS

D Day: July 27, 2012
Day of first suspicion: 6/7/11
DD#2: November 2, 2012

I thought we were reconciling...I left him a year after DDay

We are divorcing

Posts: 97 | Registered: Sep 2012
Member # 23375
Default  Posted: 9:11 PM, August 16th (Friday)

Oh Lord!

An update!

I solemnly swear in the future I will go on the record when my gut twinges!

Long story short, I came in contact with a person who creeped me the fuck out a few months ago. So bad I didn't want to be in the same zip code as this person.

I kept him at arms length and had shields up during every encounter.

He assaulted one of our clubs bartenders! And it wasn't the first time! Like creepy old man grabbed her girly parts!

I'm trusting my gut from now on!

With everything!

Trust it!

I am just your ordinary average everyday sane psycho supergoddess - Liz Phair

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.

Posts: 5137 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Munchkinland
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 9:56 PM, August 16th (Friday)

I trust my gut implicitly. I have always had god intuition, but during the A I denied what my gut was telling me because there was no way my X was having an A with his freaking cousin! My gut HAD to be wrong...well I would not be here if my gut was wrong.

Now the slightest little twinge and I am on red alert.

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17283 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
Member # 38541
Default  Posted: 5:38 AM, August 17th (Saturday)

I think the reason I felt so stressed and conflicted for so long was because my gut was screaming at me and I was ignoring it. For every thought I had that suggested there was an issue, I had to find a thousand that justified not believing my gut.

I will never do that again.

Posts: 154 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Australia
Member # 35316
Default  Posted: 6:39 AM, August 17th (Saturday)

My gut was screaming at me too, but I didn't see the signs...I thought I could tell when a person is lying, but after having been lied to every day for a year, I guess I don't. How can someone sit there and look you straight in the face and lie. I guess I'll have to say no to the gut.

BS (ME) 54
WH 46
OW (BJ for busfare, I call her)
DDay: 2/20/12 The most out of control day of my life
Trying to R - not going so well

Posts: 56 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: In a state
Topic Posts: 21