New Beginnings
User Topic: Crickets, right?
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 8:38 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

I had a first meeting off of OLD last night. We met at 5:30 for a drink. No attraction at all on my side. He was making "jokes" about moving in with me. I was hesitant even before the date, but I am trying to be more open-minded. He seemed rather negative in some of our e-mails.

I would have ended the date after about an hour, but I stayed almost two hours, to give him more time to overcome my first impression, as well as because I was meeting a friend at 8 to go on a lake cruise and I thought it was better to give him more time rather than to sit at a bar by myself.

Today, he sent me this message: "How was your boat ride last night? I think you picked a better night because with it only being in the 50's right now it would be too cold out on the lake for a day in Aug. I was curious what you thought about me and what you thought about last night?"

I responded: "Thanks for the message. It was nice to meet you last night, and it's too bad that we weren't a match. I wish you the best of luck in finding the right lady for you!"

He replies: "I thought we had some things I'm common to explore getting to know each other more but I guess you feel different. I realise we only where meeting for drinks but felt awkward you where leaving to go meet someone else right away. Good luck find that special someone but it sounds like you have a lot going on."

Totally blaming me! (I did make it clear that I was meeting girlfriends.) I should just ignore, right? Because I really want to write something like this:

"You have no idea how much I had to stifle the urge to pin you down and brush and floss your teeth. I'm not sure if those are permanent stains in between each of them or if it's food (it looked so much like food, but how could that be since it was all of them?), but I almost got physically sick when I thought about kissing you.

You were quite boring, told inappropriate stories, and your "jokes" weren't funny at all. Yes, I own a house. No, you are not moving in. Also, jokes usually are funny, not awkward statements about how sad your life is and how desperate you are for a girlfriend.

Don't blame your awkwardness on me having to leave early. I didn't tell you I had to leave until about 10 minutes before I did. And if I hadn't had other plans, I would have left an hour earlier. You are a giant loser, and your pathetic attempt to blame me for us not being a match is laughable."

Oh man, I really want to go on, but instead I will delete him from my e-mail and focus on the next date :)

Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny

Posts: 3404 | Registered: Dec 2011
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 8:42 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

Hee hee! I like what you'd really like to send, but yeah... he gets the "chirp, chirp... chirp, chirp..."

How do you not check your teeth before a date? Heck, I check my teeth for lipstick smears before I go to the grocery store! Yuck!

BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3620 | Registered: Oct 2011
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 8:46 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

Crickets, yes

"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13798 | Registered: Jul 2011
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

Crickets crickets crickets.

You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 25717 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 9:05 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

I am crickets, but it was nice to get it out here! His response was just more proof that I made the right decision!

Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny

Posts: 3404 | Registered: Dec 2011
Member # 36126
Default  Posted: 9:28 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

No response! Your time is valuable and it is a good thing he can appreciate that

Posts: 1006 | Registered: Jul 2012
Member # 33857
Default  Posted: 9:53 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

Next time we meet, I will make sure my teeth are in bad shape so you pin me down! That sounds like fun!

Divorced by Interlocutory decree in May 2012. WW had an affair with a 66 yo doctor she worked for.
D-Day Sept 16. 2011.
BH- 52 (Me) / XWW 50 - ages back in 2011
Two great kids that don't deserve this!

Posts: 727 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: USA
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 10:21 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

I had a guy ask me (via text) what I didn't like about him when I sent a "thanks but we aren't a match" note after a date. I didn't reply because there really isn't any way someone is going to accept feedback from a stranger without some defensiveness. Your last night date guy's response to you sounds pretty defensive. Yikes!

After reading about others experiences with finding diamonds in the rough, I'm trying to be more open minded too and to say yes to a date with guys I'm not initially attracted to on line. It isn't working so well so far though...

DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52

Posts: 3207 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 6:58 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

Tempting, isn't it?

Only once did a guy text me and want "feedback", and I was honest. I was honest because he didn't project onto me, or blame, or accuse...just wanted to know.

If I get a whiff of

Totally blaming me!
then I know it is pointless.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings

Posts: 4183 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 11:12 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

Hey - I think I went out with that guy too.

Oops - I mean....yes, crickets.

Eyes are useless if the mind is blind.

Posts: 2177 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 2:10 PM, August 14th (Wednesday)

Crickets, but am I the only one who took a compliment out of his reply? He is disappointed because he liked you and he recognizes that you have a pretty full life without him, or anyone for that matter, in the dating slot.

Posts: 3445 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 5:56 PM, August 14th (Wednesday)

If it was a compliment, it was a passive-aggressive way to go about it!

One other weird thing he said is he was bragging about how he knows how to treat women since he grew up with two sisters. For example, you can never compliment a woman (though he kept saying "girl") on a new haircut because she'll burst out in tears if she doesn't like it. So you just say, "Oh, you got a haircut!" and then take your cue from her as to what to say next.

I'm not losing any sleep over it, and though I've thought of several other things I wish I could say to him, I have maintained my silence. This foray into OLD might be another short one :)

Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny

Posts: 3404 | Registered: Dec 2011
Topic Posts: 12