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Wayward Side
User Topic: Maybe this will help someone
NoGoodUsername
Member
Member # 40181
Default  Posted: 9:01 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

Here's a quote from my BW that could be helpful in cutting through the fog of a bad decision.

"Would I be OK with this if I were reading about it in a hypothetical situation instead of doing it with someone that I might have cognitive dissonance about?"


Me: WH
Her: BW
Dday 7/11/13
"May you be protected from hearts that are not humble, tongues that are not wise and eyes that have forgotten how to cry."

Posts: 207 | Registered: Aug 2013
caspers1wish
Member
Member # 28720
Default  Posted: 9:38 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

What? Can someone dumb it down for me?


Me - FWW (35)
Him - BH (34)
Kids - Ages 6, 8, 10
Married 13 years, together 18 years.
Last D-Day - November 2008

Posts: 726 | Registered: Jun 2010
stilllovinghim
Member
Member # 29971
Default  Posted: 10:38 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

Whew! I'm glad I'm not the only one...


“You have a choice. Live or die.Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. Every time you don't throw yourself down the stairs, that's a choice. Every time you don't crash your car, you re-enlist.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor

Posts: 1942 | Registered: Oct 2010
NoGoodUsername
Member
Member # 40181
Default  Posted: 5:40 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

Sorry folks. Let me rephrase that.

"Would I be OK with this choice if I were hearing it about someone else doing it, rather than it being me and someone I might be fooling myself over?"


Me: WH
Her: BW
Dday 7/11/13
"May you be protected from hearts that are not humble, tongues that are not wise and eyes that have forgotten how to cry."

Posts: 207 | Registered: Aug 2013
Trying33
Member
Member # 38815
Default  Posted: 5:47 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

Meaning never judge a situation or pre-empt how you may react until you've been there yourself??

or

Am I trying to convince myself that we're all good/have the potential of being all good because I love you/have a history with you when really all my principles are telling me what you did is wrong and I should end this?


Posts: 361 | Registered: Mar 2013
ShockedErica11
Member
Member # 37550
Default  Posted: 8:03 PM, August 14th (Wednesday)

"Would I be OK with this if I were reading about it in a hypothetical situation instead of doing it with someone that I might have cognitive dissonance about?"

And 9 out of 10, I probably would've said it exactly this way to WH before he'd give me a dumbfounded look and say, "Um, come again?"

In essence are you saying: if this were a hypothetical situation that someone - say a friend - were telling me about, how would I feel? As opposed to say, the person that I've essentially done this to?


Him (31): Taurus517 (17 mon EA/PA); others
Me (27): 3mo EA/PA (kissed once)
One too many D-days
(Full story: see profile)

Posts: 230 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Atlanta, GA
jjct
Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 6:53 AM, August 15th (Thursday)

I understood it.
She's trying to distance herself from the emotional pain in order to deal with the sitch more rationally.

She's telling you she has dissonance.
My guess is that it is love vs. hate. (not that big of a stretch when you think about it)...All bundled up inside her - seeking relief, resolution, and at the very least, expression (getting it outside of herself, getting it "out there")...

My gut instinct would be to make myself small. Patient. There if she needed me.
To act as a bucket, a willing container to catch the emotional vomit that's pent-up inside.


Posts: 6421 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Topic Posts: 7