Off Topic
User Topic: JM's grandmother died yesterday
Member # 33338
Default  Posted: 9:23 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

It was very sudden and unexpected. And I am so proud of him and the way he has supported and loved his mother over the past week, and also for his wisdom and cooler head prevailing over me and my knee-jerk bitchiness.

MeMe broke her leg last Saturday. She had been living independently, and fell in her home, fracturing her femur. They couldn't operate immediately, but she did well during the surgery. My MIL (it was her mom) mentioned to me that if she needed rehab, they wanted her to come to where I work. That was my preference, because I could keep an eye on her, and also because our facility is simply one of the best SNF/rehab facilities in our state. MeMe balked at coming to where I worked. "I don't like to mix business with family" was what she said.

And my little feelings were hurt. Oh, I wanted to let my MIL have it. And JM was so calming, so assured. He was definitely on my side, but helped me to see that if I said something to my MIL it would not make things any better at all. And that it was probably best for her to be somewhere else, because if anything bad happened, some of the family (if not all) would blame it on me.

She went to rehab on Friday, then went back to the hospital yesterday with a bowel obstruction. She could not survive the surgery and ended up coding in the ER and unable to be resuscitated.

I'm so glad I didn't say something bitchy to my MIL. She is heartbroken. And because my smart, kind husband helped me to keep my fat mouth shut, I am able to comfort her. I truly wish I had been able to care for MeMe during her final days, but she left on her own terms. Directed everything to the last minute.

And then some. She left detailed written instructions as to how her funeral should go. I'll be singing the songs that she, um, requested. (Demanded )

Don't want to get this pulled from OT, and so I will just close with this: I'm so grateful and glad that our path has led us to where we are now. I'm so glad that JM was willing to listen, and work, and learn how to be a true man and leader of our home. He is a wonderful example to our boys.

Me, 47
Him, 40 (JMSSC)
married 17 years. In R. We are making it. The past does not define who we are today.

Posts: 2809 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: South Carolina
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 9:27 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

My condolences on your loss.


Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.

Posts: 52737 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
Member # 32122
Default  Posted: 9:35 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

So sorry for your loss.

Posts: 3206 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Canada
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 9:38 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

I'm so sorry for you and your family's loss.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 9:39 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)]

Posts: 36043 | Registered: Mar 2011
Deeply Scared
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 9:44 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

I'm really sorry for your family's prayers are with you

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.

Posts: 198445 | Registered: May 2002
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 1:27 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

MeMe sounds like she was a force to be reckoned with. I am sorry for your loss. Prayers hoping out for your family.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5327 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Member # 33338
Default  Posted: 5:40 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

Thanks, y'all. I appreciate your kind words so much.

MeMe sounds like she was a force to be reckoned with.

Oh, she was. The last thing she said to my SIL (on Sunday) was, "R, this conversation is NOT interesting."

Me, 47
Him, 40 (JMSSC)
married 17 years. In R. We are making it. The past does not define who we are today.

Posts: 2809 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: South Carolina
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 5:48 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

I'm sorry for your family's loss.

And, I love feisty seniors .

Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."

Posts: 38203 | Registered: Sep 2007
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 6:54 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

Sending hugs to both of you, I am sorry for your loss. I am so glad to hear you can be a team now when it's needed though. What a testament to your hard work.
MeMe sounds like she was a strong woman.

“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 45032 | Registered: Sep 2006
Member # 6850
Default  Posted: 9:17 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

((HFSSC)) Sorry for your loss...she sounds like quite a lady!

You can't reach for anything new if your hands are still full of yesterday's junk.......Louise Smith

Posts: 4845 | Registered: Apr 2005 | From: Ontario
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:00 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

So sorry for your loss. (((JM, HF, & family)))

You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 25842 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 26651
Default  Posted: 12:20 PM, August 14th (Wednesday)

So sorry to hear (((SSC's)))

Me: FBW/30 Him: FWH/33 The kidlets: DS13, DS10, and DD8 The hounds: Four Shih Tzu's
Finally, completely R'd
Clothed in strength and dignity, with nothing to fear, she smiles when she thinks about the future.~Proverbs 31:25

Posts: 11586 | Registered: Dec 2009
Topic Posts: 12