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User Topic: Vent
Unagie
Member
Member # 37091
Default  Posted: 11:00 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

Fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him!!!!!!


Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild

No longer together

Do not let others be your reference for who you see in the mirror.

Stop allowing people to hurt you, because you don't love you enough to walk away.


Posts: 2395 | Registered: Oct 2012
Skan
Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 11:45 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

Fuck him and the whore he rode in on! You have been SO heard! (((hugs)))

edit because I hit too many keys at once.

Vent away we''re here to hear what you need to say when you''re ready.

[This message edited by Skan at 11:46 PM, August 13th, 2013 (Tuesday)]


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4128 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
wannabenormal
Member
Member # 19772
Default  Posted: 11:48 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)

Fuck him is right.

We love you.


BW, divorced: 03/09


Posts: 14252 | Registered: Jun 2008
Unagie
Member
Member # 37091
Default  Posted: 12:03 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

Years ago we had a friend lets call her Z. She was a friend to us both, I put my safety on the line for her when helping her escape her abusive father, was her when she miscarried not one but both of her twin babies after her father kicked her in the stomach, helped her move, slept over her house, helped her paint, and loved her. Both SO and I were her friends and initially we were both attracted to him. I told her I'd step away if she wanted him and she told me no she didn't and SO and I got together. We grew apart because she started distancing herself from me and I didn't know why. About a year after her distancing and a about 3 years into our relationship she confessed to SO that she was in love with him. I demanded NC and he promised he would. A few weeks later I found a pic of her because he says they hung out. He went NC and for years there were ups and downs about her. I just found out that 10 days ago he went to brunch with her and his BFF and today he told me he was going shopping when in reality he was having dinner with her. Oh he needed closure because he felt he ended that friendship badly. Yes he did something selfish but it made him feel better and a huge weight was lifted so I should be happy for him at least a little.

I feel fucking gutted....FTG...


Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild

No longer together

Do not let others be your reference for who you see in the mirror.

Stop allowing people to hurt you, because you don't love you enough to walk away.


Posts: 2395 | Registered: Oct 2012
CheaterMagnet
Member
Member # 33581
Default  Posted: 1:40 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

(((((Unagie)))))


If Happy Ever After did exist, I would still be holding you like this.
All those fairly tales are full of shit.
One more fucking love song I'll be sick. ~ Maroon 5

Posts: 925 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Kailua-Kona, HI
confused615
Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 6:02 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

Unagie...you know he wasn't wasn't looking for closure with her.


FTG.


BS(me)41
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,9
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: R? I don't know..ask me tomorrow..it changes rapidly.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 6669 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
Aubrie
Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 7:08 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

Oh he needed closure

You aren't drinking that Koolaid are you?

He's showing you, above and beyond, who he is.


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

"You can do it!" - R. Schneider


Posts: 5484 | Registered: Nov 2011
Unagie
Member
Member # 37091
Default  Posted: 7:39 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

I barely slept. Had a complete and total breakdown last night coupled with an anxiety attack. Fucked up part? My mind auto went to him for comfort...I'm sitting here about to feed the dog and give her, her insulin and then start working when all I wanna do is bury my head under a pillow and block the world out.


Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild

No longer together

Do not let others be your reference for who you see in the mirror.

Stop allowing people to hurt you, because you don't love you enough to walk away.


Posts: 2395 | Registered: Oct 2012
tushnurse
Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 8:05 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

((((unagie))))

So did you tell him what he did was unacceptable? He needs some serious consequences for causing you this much pain.

STRENGTH - to you.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 14 & 16
Married for 21 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 6631 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
krazy8516
Member
Member # 40076
Default  Posted: 9:14 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

::hugs:: to Unagie!!

Hun, you've been doing this dance with him for too long now I think. You said it yourself - fuck him. We're here for you.


me: BW, 30
him: WH, 25
us: edging closer to R every day

married 2y, together 2.5y
1 beautiful daughter, 23m

"Someday soon, I'm going to put my life together; Win or lose, I'm starting over again."


Posts: 368 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Texas
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 9:26 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

FTG.

(((unagie)))


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13204 | Registered: Jul 2011
sisoon
Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 9:36 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

Stop doing this to yourself. Stop today.

180 - 180 - 180 - 180


FBH (me) - 65+, FWW (her) - 65+, Married 45+, together almost 49 (as of January, 2014)
DDay - 12/2010
Almost Recovered
I share my own experience not because I'm a good model but because it's the only experience I know.

Posts: 8933 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
Unagie
Member
Member # 37091
Default  Posted: 10:17 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

Why the hell is it so hard to detach....FFS I would do anything to genuinely smile with no pain behind it again. Oh he told her about our situation because yea she needs to know that shit. How the fuck can he sleep so calmy!? I want to punch him, I feel like such a fool.


Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild

No longer together

Do not let others be your reference for who you see in the mirror.

Stop allowing people to hurt you, because you don't love you enough to walk away.


Posts: 2395 | Registered: Oct 2012
TrustGone
Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 10:31 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

Why do you keep doing this to yourself??? He has already shown you numerous times who he is, yet you let him keep hurting you over and over again. You need to follow your own tagline, love yourself enough to walk away!!!! Venting is great, but it won't solve your problems or make him a trustworthy person.


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
5454real
Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 10:38 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

you do realize he's deliberately torturing you don't you?

he has told you what he is going to do, he has shown you through his Actions, when will you truly realize that you are worth so much more?

FTG

strength


BH 50, WW 41
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 19(Hers),DS 8 Ours, DGS 2 1/2
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2087 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
sisoon
Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 10:41 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

Why the hell is it so hard to detach

There are lots of possible reasons. Gently, what are yours?

I know the answers are difficult and probably painful to face, but you're strong enough - and remember, any time you want a supporting hug (or a dozen), you can come here.

Does the following old SI thing help?

Don't
Even
Think
About
Changing
Him!


FBH (me) - 65+, FWW (her) - 65+, Married 45+, together almost 49 (as of January, 2014)
DDay - 12/2010
Almost Recovered
I share my own experience not because I'm a good model but because it's the only experience I know.

Posts: 8933 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
Unagie
Member
Member # 37091
Default  Posted: 12:12 PM, August 14th (Wednesday)

I know my reasons and they are shit. Part of me feels I deserve this, that I created this ma. I don't recognize, part of me thinks this is all I deserve and I shouldnt expect better treatment, part of me is desperately scared I will not be able to love this deeply again or trust anyone to love me again and part of me still truly loves him. I probably have more if I dig some more and I know venting will not solve my problems but right now I'm hurting and there's no one else I can say this to that will understand.

ETA: I really wish I could talk to my mom but if I tell her this she will want to take a hammer to his kneecaps....I want my family...

[This message edited by Unagie at 12:27 PM, August 14th (Wednesday)]


Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild

No longer together

Do not let others be your reference for who you see in the mirror.

Stop allowing people to hurt you, because you don't love you enough to walk away.


Posts: 2395 | Registered: Oct 2012
Topic Posts: 17