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User Topic: Ugh... I'm that person!
krazy8516
Member
Member # 40076
Default  Posted: 10:28 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

I read someone's post earlier that they had "picked at the scab." That is, they went to the OW's FB page to see what she's been up to. I guess it planted a seed in my head, because I couldn't stop myself from doing it just now. It's probably all kinds of inappropriate to copy and past from her page, so I'll sum it up:

On August 9 she posted that she and her BF had their relationship "tested" that week. She thought for sure she was going to lose him over something "crazy", but through everything, he had "unwavering trust" in her, and "never doubted" her.

This makes me sick. During the conversation I had with the BF, he denied any wrongdoing by his GF, so I know she has completely snowed him. It sounds like they have been really working on their relationship, so maybe she will stay away from my H. But her BF will never know what really happened (because I failed to save proof) and she got away with everything. So while I'm struggling, and wondering if I'll have trust my husband again, her BF isn't even thinking twice.

Arrg, I'm so angry now! I knew I shouldn't have looked!


me: BW, 30
him: WH, 25
us: edging closer to R every day

married 2y, together 2.5y
1 beautiful daughter, 23m

"Someday soon, I'm going to put my life together; Win or lose, I'm starting over again."


Posts: 368 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Texas
lynnm1947
Member
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 10:31 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

Read between her lines, krazy.
If she
thought for sure she was going to lose him over something "crazy",
then she and he probably had some shall-we-say "spirited" discussions. She may say he has unwavering trust in her, but man, I bet she is under a microscope now. He may trust, but I bet you he'll verify.


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 6926 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
sisoon
Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 10:33 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

She got away with everything?

Maybe, maybe not. A life without consequences may lead to ever riskier behavior, and ever more serious consequences, when they do come. Keep your fingers crossed.


FBH (me) - 65+, FWW (her) - 65+, Married 45+, together almost 49 (as of January, 2014)
DDay - 12/2010
Almost Recovered
I share my own experience not because I'm a good model but because it's the only experience I know.

Posts: 8872 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
RyeBread
Member
Member # 37437
Default  Posted: 10:38 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

The OW will never be able to have a healthy honest relationship until she owns the truth of her choices. She can snowball all she wants but ultimately it will not end well for her.


Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

Posts: 956 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest
ButterflyGirl
Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 10:39 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

What's that thing that has kept me from posting my relationship issues on Facebook for all my friends and family and possibly the public to see? Oh yeah, class.


BW~ 35, Two Darling Sons~ 10 and 6
D-Day 9/2012
S 10/2012
Filed D 11/2012
Divorced! 4/2014

Posts: 1358 | Registered: Feb 2013
krazy8516
Member
Member # 40076
Default  Posted: 10:42 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

Plus now I'm wondering if my WH doesn't check her page to keep tabs on her since "supposedly" initiating NC. I wish she'd make her page completely private, that way neither of us can snoop.

I'm so mad at myself for looking. I can't heal if I can't let her go. I just need to forget she exists... because in the happy marriage I'm working towards, she doesn't....


me: BW, 30
him: WH, 25
us: edging closer to R every day

married 2y, together 2.5y
1 beautiful daughter, 23m

"Someday soon, I'm going to put my life together; Win or lose, I'm starting over again."


Posts: 368 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Texas
confused615
Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 10:45 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

They are not "really working on their relationship." She has pulled the wool over his eyes. She is lying to him. HE may think they are working things out..she is still lying and hiding the truth from him. So nothing has changed in their relationship.

He's not thinking twice..now. But her behavior will eventually catch up with her..and he will realize he is with a cheating slut.


BS(me)41
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,9
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: R? I don't know..ask me tomorrow..it changes rapidly.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 6612 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
TrustGone
Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 10:47 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

I will never understand people that post their personal lives on FB or any other social media. Who really wants the world to know private details of their lives and who really cares to read them??? I can understand why BS's might want to read about things, but why do they think anyone else would care???


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
StillGoing
Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 10:49 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

Unfortunately we will probably see her BF here in a few years then, if they stay together any length of time.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7077 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
KeepCalm_CarryOn
Member
Member # 33374
Default  Posted: 10:49 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

He may choose to believe her right now, but there will always be that lingering doubt. It will eat away at them. He may be struggling. She may be in panic mode, you just never know on FB. Is that the type of relationship you want? Always questioning?

Why not block her and have WH block her? That way you can't check, you can't see. NC=No new hurts!


You are not dealing with rational people or situations. Normal thought processes won't work...story of my life.

Me- BW, 28
Him- fWh, 34
Mostly R'd, minus a few scars...bought a house and got a puppy...And baby makes 3! She arrived August


Posts: 1955 | Registered: Sep 2011
TxsT
Member
Member # 39996
Default  Posted: 10:52 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

The OW in my story almost got away with doing this and not paying the piper. I had to be very patient. It took a year after Dday but she slowly imploded to the point where her internal and external anger caught up with her and she has been completely demoted at work. She finally GETS IT that what she did was VERY WRONG. Karma is a bitch sometimes but what you do to others will, eventually, come back to bite you in the butt!!!

T


Me: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
Dday: 09/11/2012
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)

Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!


Posts: 605 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: CDN
krazy8516
Member
Member # 40076
Default  Posted: 10:53 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

ButterflyGirl & TrustGone - I agree completely. Posting about your private life on FB for the whole world to see is classless and juvenile. I, myself, have not posted anything on FB in weeks, because all I want to say is, "My H is a lying, cheating bastard who broke our family. But hey, we're trying to work it out." It's nobody's business, especially since we're trying to work it out. In the end, if we can't, I will probably tell the story. But not on Facebook.

[This message edited by krazy8516 at 10:54 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)]


me: BW, 30
him: WH, 25
us: edging closer to R every day

married 2y, together 2.5y
1 beautiful daughter, 23m

"Someday soon, I'm going to put my life together; Win or lose, I'm starting over again."


Posts: 368 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Texas
million tears
Member
Member # 24416
Default  Posted: 10:54 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

She will always be walking on eggshells, fearing she may be caught in her lies. That can't be pleasant. I believe she is punishing herself.


2 year LTA-double betrayal, D-day 1-26-2009 and many months of TT. 2 more recent d-days-way overstepped boundaries.

Married 27 years. Together 29.

3 children 24, 21, 14

OW sex addict and romance addict according to MC.


Posts: 1561 | Registered: Jun 2009
TrulySad
Member
Member # 39652
Default  Posted: 10:59 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

Plus now I'm wondering if my WH doesn't check her page to keep tabs on her since "supposedly" initiating NC. I wish she'd make her page completely private, that way neither of us can snoop.

All you need to do is block her from both of your accounts. You won't be able to see her and she can't see you. It becomes like the accounts don't exist. Just keep in mind, people who stalk, tend to create a phony acct and you'd never know that name to block. Always set your FB to private for this reason.

As for her BF, he is probably struggling, not knowing what to believe. And while they may be advertising a united front publicly, in private. I think most of us BS's can attest he is probably living in hell. Once the doubt creeps in, it haunts you until the the full nightmare unfolds and plays out. I'd bet he's living in hell and she's living in her own little sweet denial.


Me: WGF
Him: WBF
Together two years DD Feb. 2013
I think we are R??? Time will tell

Posts: 358 | Registered: Jun 2013
Topic Posts: 14