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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Anyone appeal a judge's ruling?
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 7:04 PM, August 14th (Wednesday)

Has anyone here appealed a judge's ruling during their divorce/custody trials? I am facing this situation now.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9632 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
peridot
Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 7:11 PM, August 14th (Wednesday)

What happened?


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4771 | Registered: Feb 2008
Fooled Me Twice
Member
Member # 34824
Default  Posted: 7:11 PM, August 14th (Wednesday)

I'm not sure if it's the same, but I filed a motion for reconsideration. The disagreement was about how far back my support should go for the arrears, as my ex paid me $0 for over 6 months. That's the very brief version, but in the end I won and got more money.

ETA: This was from our pendent lite hearing. Not sure if that matters either. My attorney filed it - his had a chance to make his counter argument and then mine replied again and the judge made the ruling within about a week.

Hope that helps!

[This message edited by Fooled Me Twice at 7:13 PM, August 14th (Wednesday)]


ME: BS 33 (now 34)
HIM: WS 33 (now 35)
OW: 22, howorker (now 24)
July 2007: Porn found on computer along with profiles on dating websites.
DDay: January 16, 2012 - suspicious since Dec 2011
Divorced: June 11, 2013

Posts: 209 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Here and There
hurtbs
Member
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 7:13 PM, August 14th (Wednesday)

Personally I have not, but I used to work as a legal secretary and paralegal so I have seen it and worked those cases.

What's going on?


Me BW Him XSAWH
DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid


Posts: 15321 | Registered: Jun 2006
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 7:18 PM, August 14th (Wednesday)

We are still battling over money and children. The money I almost couldn't possibly care about anymore, other than I'm destitute and cannot see a path for me out of this hole of poverty thanks to the strange SS schedule the judge created.

The children issue is what has me distraught and triggering wildly this afternoon. I'm almost back to an "out of body" feeling and I don't like it. My attorney says I need to appeal the decision the judge made today. I think I'm going to. I think the judge has totally abused his discretion. I paid thousands upon thousands of dollars for a parenting eval which proves my STBX is a sick bastard, but the decision the judge made blows my mind as well as my attorney's mind.

I just want to cry.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9632 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
hurtbs
Member
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 7:21 PM, August 14th (Wednesday)

Big hugs

(((nature)))

That sounds so daunting and overwhelming. Listen to your attorney. Family court judge's have a lot of discretion and some of them do not exercise it will.

Hang in there.


Me BW Him XSAWH
DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid


Posts: 15321 | Registered: Jun 2006
peridot
Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 7:38 PM, August 14th (Wednesday)

I would do whatever your attorney suggests.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4771 | Registered: Feb 2008
homewrecked2011
Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 7:44 PM, August 14th (Wednesday)

Go for it.

Some judges are sick ass dumb asses.

I don't THINK it could be made any worse by appealing it, right?


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2109 | Registered: Jan 2012
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 7:47 PM, August 14th (Wednesday)

What's really upsetting is that all along the way STBX's lawyer has successfully battled to keep any mention of STBX's sexual perversions out of any court transcript, testimony, document, evidence, letters, everything. My lawyer has argued to include these things, but the judge has always agreed to keep these things out. Can't discuss them, won't hear testimony about them, cannot enter into evidence.

You guys, my husband is a sick, sick, sick pervert!!!!!!! And part of his perversion involves young girls!!!!!!!!!!

But every ruling the judge makes turns a blind eye to STBX's sexual perversion.

WTF???????????

How is it that STBX's dirtbag lawyer keeps being so successful at keeping STBX's perversion out of the divorce & custody issues??? FUCKIN-A, I'M DIVORCING HIM IN LARGE PART BECAUSE HE'S A FUCKING PERVERT AND MY CHILDREN ARE IN FUCKING DANGER!!!!!!!!!


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9632 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
homewrecked2011
Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 7:51 PM, August 14th (Wednesday)

(((nature girl)))


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2109 | Registered: Jan 2012
5454real
Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 7:55 PM, August 14th (Wednesday)

Absolutely appeal. You have several grounds from what you have stated, starting with the dismissal of the clear evidence.
Follow your lawyers advice.

Strength and prayers


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2791 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
Fooled Me Twice
Member
Member # 34824
Default  Posted: 8:15 PM, August 14th (Wednesday)

(((hugs)))


ME: BS 33 (now 34)
HIM: WS 33 (now 35)
OW: 22, howorker (now 24)
July 2007: Porn found on computer along with profiles on dating websites.
DDay: January 16, 2012 - suspicious since Dec 2011
Divorced: June 11, 2013

Posts: 209 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Here and There
ItsNotUitsMe
Member
Member # 21966
Default  Posted: 8:16 PM, August 14th (Wednesday)

I did and they overturned the judgement in my favor. It was strictly about money nothing as serious as your sitch. But I made the mistake of originally filing myself because my lawyer said it was a no Brainer and he didn't want to take my money to file paperwork I could do myself. I hired a different lawyer for the appeal and won. I would do it. Especially since you say no one is looking closely at the case and an appeal just might do it for you

Posts: 1032 | Registered: Dec 2008
CheaterMagnet
Member
Member # 33581
Default  Posted: 8:17 PM, August 14th (Wednesday)

(((((NG))))))

I am so sorry! I've been following you for a long time and I just cannot believe what has been happening to you.

I have no advice, but I am sending you strength and peace.


If Happy Ever After did exist, I would still be holding you like this.
All those fairly tales are full of shit.
One more fucking love song I'll be sick. ~ Maroon 5

Posts: 1029 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Kailua-Kona, HI
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 8:48 PM, August 14th (Wednesday)

If your lawyer is baffled by the decision, then that tells me an appeal is in order. I just can't fucking imagine all that weird shit that guy does not being taken into consideration.

((((NG))))


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4618 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Must Survive
Member
Member # 34533
Default  Posted: 9:09 PM, August 14th (Wednesday)

(((NG))), in my mind you have to appeal. YOU know what a pervert he is, you are trying to protect your kids. Appeal.


Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorcing, STBXH is engaged/living with OW#3

They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." Daenerys Targaryen


Posts: 737 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Must Survive
LifeIsBroken
Member
Member # 27071
Default  Posted: 9:12 PM, August 14th (Wednesday)

There is something seriously wrong with a judicial system that won't / doesn't want to hear all the facts when the welfare of children is in question. I also believe judges look at sitting on the bench as just another day at the office. They forget there are REAL PEOPLE involved and their decisions have a REAL impact for the people involved.

I feel badly for what's going on with you and yours. There must be a way to introduce the facts as they pertain to the pervert father. A good lawyer will care enough to find them.


BW: 59
XH: 60
Married 34 yrs, LIBerated: 2/17/11
MOW: 50 (she said she wanted a sugar daddy; xh said, "I'M HIM!")
Actions ALWAYS have consequences. Too bad cheaters don't consider the consequences BEFORE they create so much damage.

Posts: 482 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Missouri & Massachusetts
homewrecked2011
Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 9:23 PM, August 14th (Wednesday)

If you appeal, do you get to keep visitation the way it is for a while longer?


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2109 | Registered: Jan 2012
tryingagain74
Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 9:26 PM, August 14th (Wednesday)

Ugh, N_G! I wish I lived near you and could help you out.

I'm so sorry about the decision and the additional stress of having to appeal. Clearly, you need to, but it's disgusting that the judge won't even consider your ex's behaviors.

Makes me wonder if it hits a little close to home with the judge... otherwise, how do you say that info isn't relevant when it comes to the safety of children?

(((N_G)))


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3594 | Registered: Oct 2011
stronger08
Member
Member # 16953
Default  Posted: 4:46 AM, August 15th (Thursday)

I would contact child protection services and give them all the evidence you have of his perv behaviors. It certainly can only assist your appeal if you have a government agency that agrees with you. And if the judge does allow his to have any custody or visitation CPS certainly has the legal right to have it taken away. In my state family court is not involved in D matters. The surrogate court decides D proceedings and custody. If you feel there is a danger to your kids CPS is the way to go. Also something smells fishy with how his lawyer is able to keep such important information our of the record. Either this judge is dirty or incompetent. Bad news for you in either case.


You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

Posts: 5651 | Registered: Nov 2007
peridot
Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 9:43 AM, August 15th (Thursday)

Have you had a GAL assigned? If not, when you do the appeal, ask for one. They will look at the evidence. During my divorce I was told the judges usually go with what the GAL reccommends. I found that to be true in my case.

I agree, there is something not right here. It's odd that his attorney was able to keep all that evidence out. I wouldn't doubt it if something were going on with the judge, his attorney or both. I agree with stronger something doesn't smell right and your case could be hitting close to home somehow for the judge.

I don't know how the appeal process works but you might ask your attorney about getting a different judge.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4771 | Registered: Feb 2008
dmari
Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 11:05 AM, August 15th (Thursday)

Don't have any experience with your question but I just wanted to send you strength and reassurance that you are doing the right thing on behalf of your kids! It blows my mind how his lawyer and the judge can turn their heads at really major concerns. Something doesn't seem right with the system. You are a good strong momma! I'm sorry this is happening to you!


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 18, DS 15
Settled at mediation
Officially divorced ... SOON!

Posts: 2180 | Registered: Oct 2012
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 11:09 AM, August 15th (Thursday)

I'm not an attorney, but have taken a civil litigation class, and we learned that appeals generally don't introduce any new testimony or evidence; instead the appeal judge looks at what was done in the lower court (transcripts, evidence, etc.) to see if there was a procedural or legal error made. (That could include the exclusion of xyz from consideration, I imagine, but again, I'm not a legal professional.) The appeal judge then tells the original judge to correct the mistake that was made (like "re-rule but with xyz in consideration"), called "remanding" it to the lower court.

Take your attorney's advice, NG. I can't see how an appeal would hurt you, but if the attorney really thinks it could help (especially if the judge is in some way corrupt ) it seems like it could really help. Your attorney knows your local court system better than anyone on the internet, and can also tell you what to expect from an appeal.

[This message edited by Amazonia at 11:10 AM, August 15th (Thursday)]


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13729 | Registered: Jul 2011
Compartmented
Member
Member # 29410
Default  Posted: 5:50 PM, August 15th (Thursday)

Nature_Girl,

{{{{ }}}}, {{{{ }}}} and {{{{ }}}}

Please know that you stay in my prayers!!!! Your situation weighs on my heart. You are SO STRONG and really impress me!!


Posts: 1256 | Registered: Aug 2010
heartbroken_kk
Member
Member # 22722
Default  Posted: 12:27 AM, August 16th (Friday)

just sending hugs (((((Nature Girl))))) (((((NG littles))))

and an FTG for good measure


BW then 46, STBXWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life.
D-Day 1 1999, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... 2009 thru 2011.

Separated, divorcing, moving on.
I edit because I always make typos.


Posts: 1169 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: California
crisp
Member
Member # 34236
Default  Posted: 7:04 AM, August 16th (Friday)

When I started to read this I was forming a suggestion in my mind to advise you just to live with it based on the VERY high hurdle of overturning this type of decision on appeal. Usually appellate courts have to find an abuse of discretion and or NO evidence to support the ruling. BUT, as I read further you mentioned that the judge would not allow evidence of perv. That changes thing greatly and encourage you to have your attorney first file a motion to reconsider based on the erroneous evidentiary rulings


Endeavor to persevere. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csEzTwKemwY

Posts: 382 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: NE US
roughroadahead
Member
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 7:09 AM, August 16th (Friday)

You can absolutely appeal. You appeal first to the appeals level courts, and if you don't like what they say, you can appeal to the state Supreme Court. They can choose not to hear your case, but the appeals court has to. Ama is right that appeals only consider the record from trial court, but the record should include any motions filed or hearings about evidence staying out. If there is an error there, it will be remanded for a new trial. The appeals court is all about correcting errors of law. They won't issue a custody schedule or whatever. They'll probably tell the trial judge to redo it, using the right law this time.

First make sure you're comfortable with you L's work so far, and then follow his advice. An abuse of discretion standard kind of sucks, in that the bar is pretty high for the appellate court to find in your favor. Again, this is something your L should advise you on.

Good luck!


BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 737 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 12:28 PM, August 16th (Friday)

Is there a child abuse advocate that you can talk to regarding the best way to get the evidence into the system? Or maybe the legal advice from the local domestic violence shelter may be able to help.

Hugs, NG You have worked so hard to get your kids to a safe place. I am praying for you and the kidlets.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5061 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 1:49 PM, August 16th (Friday)

NG - just sick about this. Hope you are able to get the legal support you and your kids so desperately need.

Sending you strength, honey. (((((hugs)))))


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25258 | Registered: Aug 2011
Topic Posts: 29