User Topic: depression
Member # 37534
Default  Posted: 1:39 PM, August 15th (Thursday)

I don't know what exactly I'm looking for. I just know that I seem to have settled into the depression stage of grief and I don't know how to shake it. I'm not normally a depressed person so it's hard for me to feel like this. I want to feel happy again instead of everything stressing me out so quickly and easily. I don't have insurance right now so counseling and medication aren't an option. And I am attending a 12 step program. It's frustrating that now I have the spouse I've always wanted and yet I'm still not happy. I'm tired all the time and the fog I feel over my everyday life is just awful.

Is this normal for 10 months out?

Me,BS 33
SA fWH (masame5) 35
Married 13 yrs, 7 kids
D-day 10/9/12 (caught him through fb chat) D-day #2 11/19/12 thru 11/21/12 (found out about all the rest of the A's.)
8 AP

Posts: 196 | Registered: Nov 2012
Member # 35512
Default  Posted: 1:46 PM, August 15th (Thursday)

Is this normal for 10 months out?

Absolutely... I'm almost two years out, and I totally relate to what you describe.

Me: BH, 43
Her: FWW, 41 (ThornyRose)
M: 16 years, together 19
2 Daughters: 14 and 12
D Day: 9/25/2011; Lies & TT to 5/4/2012
~Double betrayal; caught them in the act~

Posts: 729 | Registered: May 2012 | From: WI
Member # 40128
Default  Posted: 2:42 PM, August 15th (Thursday)

I am 11 months out and was angry most of this week, but I recently had some dark days of depression. The ones in which you accomplish nothing, and you are absolutely out of touch with what's happening around you because you can't see past your fog of sadness.

I thought I was crazy to be that depressed at this point, but after reading some more here it seems it's quite normal. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just not doing the mental work to "get it out of my head" and think of all the positives.

My H and I have been fighting a lot this week because he thinks I just want to be angry. I am short-tempered with my kids all the time. I was not that kind of mom before all of this!

I think it's just overwhelming at times to accept that this is what our new life looks like. It sucks no matter what path we choose. We can be as optimistic as can be, but ultimately we are going to trigger again. Just knowing that our happiness can be interrupted like that is depressing in and of itself.

Me: BW
Him: WH
Married 13 years at time of D-Day, 2 small children
D-day 1: 8/16/12 (told it was EA only)
D-day 2: 9/22/12 (the OW confessed to the truth and exposed the PA)
12 month affair, 10 months PA
Today: In MC and IC, attempting R

Posts: 83 | Registered: Jul 2013
Member # 36555
Default  Posted: 3:17 PM, August 15th (Thursday)

You're not alone. I don't find pleasure in the things I used to. Finding myself trying to find a fix on something to make me forget. You are vulnerable (so am I) and an addiction can happen any minute if you're not careful.

BS - Me 43 WS - Her 41
DDAY - June 2012 (found the texts)
DDAY2 - Next Day (found out who) EA
TT- till 9/2012 (some PA)
Married 20yrs. 2kids
Status: in careful R. Sometimes spinning our wheels

Posts: 1397 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 4