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Reconciliation
User Topic: When does TT end?(WS welcomed)
Yakamishi
Member
Member # 38230
Default  Posted: 5:01 PM, August 15th (Thursday)

We are almost 11 months out. (dressing the approaching anti-versary). Any rate, when does the TT end? WW and I are making progress, but my doubts on her being COMPLETELY honest continue to get the best of me. She finally consented to a poly but I canceled it due to the cost, but more so I was afraid of the worst case scenario, if another affair comes to light. I don't believe for a second it's a possibility, but I couldn't handle that if it came to light. (Heh, gee, where have we heard that before?). At any rate, when does it become "safe" to believe you got the worst of it?


Me: BH
Her: WW Mrs.yaka
Kids:4
Variouse clues to EA. WW promised it would stop.
D-Day of EA 9/13/2012 2:01PM found 2 yrs of text messages, confessed to EA
D-Day of PA: confessed on 9/22/12 11:53 PM. Worst moment of my life

Posts: 216 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Massachusetts
TICKED OFF
Member
Member # 8291
Default  Posted: 5:07 PM, August 15th (Thursday)

For me it never really ended. It kind of went through stages. It went from TT for many years, to just plain out not admitting the truth, to just not saying anything about the whole messy affair, to always being defensive about anything to do with any affair (TV, movies, h's own a, or even just a friend's a), to absolutely shutting completely up when it was/or still is mentioned.

So the way I see it nine years later is that h will never ever tell the truth which is why it is so vitally important to get it from the very start.


Posts: 2423 | Registered: Sep 2005
Undone1
Member
Member # 37683
Default  Posted: 7:00 PM, August 15th (Thursday)

Did she do a time line?


Undone1
Married 10+ years to my high school sweetheart
DDAY 10/27/12
Me 55
WH 55
Blended Family: 25, 21, and 20
Married 10 years
"The Universe Unfolds as it Should"

Posts: 301 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Missouri
Card
Member
Member # 23667
Default  Posted: 7:09 PM, August 15th (Thursday)

It ends when you stop asking questions....

There's always going to be something, some detail, some thought she had, some person she ran into and forgot about during the A, etc. etc. etc...

When I finally did a polygraph and she could put her mind to rest about all the worst case scenarios, she was also able to stop the mental barrage of questions (you know, the ones that were never asked, but danced in her head everyday)

I highly recommend the poly. It is just as important for the wayward to show that they are telling you the truth as it is for you to know you have the truth.


WH (me)
BS (her)

D-Days April - Oct. 2007 Recovery started Nov. 2007

"Found Myself", I was right there in my shoes all along!
Search for self called off!

Why Repentance Is Necessary? Because Undeserved Mercy Empowers Entitlement/Sin


Posts: 570 | Registered: Apr 2009
Topic Posts: 4