Exactly my situation. Hubby said he felt that our intimacy and sexual marriage was over. He also said that he would have much prefered to be having the A with me but had no idea how to get there. In MC I boldy asked him, "Well why didn't you say something about this to me? I have been feeling that way for years too". He was floored, speachless actually and then I saw the shame overwhelm him. I don't think he had the courage before A to ever say something like that to me. He would have been too affraid I would walk. Watching me handle this hell with dignity, strength and understanding has worsened his pain because he now gets that all we had to do was talk openly.
We both get it now....wont make that mistake ever again!
This too added browny points to his side as we moved towards R. We are both so much happier now that we can properly communicate. It has changed our lives and our marriage forever.
TMe: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)
Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!