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User Topic: Help Help me please asap
sleepless34
Member
Member # 40274
Default  Posted: 5:25 PM, August 15th (Thursday)

OMG. My WH, who I kicked out and who has agreed to give me some time to process all this until his brother gets here this weekend just tried to BREAK INTO THE HOUSE.

I didn't hear the doorbell, and of course the key didn't work bc I changed the locks. So I see him sneaking into the back yard, where I am on the phone, and then I said "go away, you need to leave" and he starts saying "are you denying me entry into my home? I have a legal right and you are denying my legal rights." and he was mad mad mad at me. He looked like a lunatic. I am scared, shaking, ready to throw up.

Thank god my SIL, who I was speaking with on the phone called him and told him to leave me alone. He kept ranting about his legal rights and she said "good, go down to the police station and explain the story and see what they tell you...." as in duh, you are acting like a pshchopath.

I have his brother calling me and telling him to leave me alone. That I am not denying access to the house or kids, but that he scared me and I felt threatened. I am terrified. I do not know who this person is. He wants to see the kids tonight and is trying to bully me (using legal rights talk) into setting up a visit for the kids.

I am scared to let him see the kids as he is acting so crazy......

HELP WHAT DO I DO???


Me BW- 40ish, awesome
Cheating scusband 40ish
2 kids, elementary school age
Bomb dropped Aug 4 out of nowhere...

Posts: 443 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Hell
Jospehine85
Member
Member # 35971
Default  Posted: 5:26 PM, August 15th (Thursday)

Call the police.

Call an attorney and get in to see one ASAP.

[This message edited by Jospehine85 at 5:26 PM, August 15th (Thursday)]


Me - BS 40s
WH - 50s
4 Kids
Dday May 2012

Posts: 900 | Registered: Jun 2012
StillLivin
Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 5:34 PM, August 15th (Thursday)

Josephine 85 is 100% right.
Call the police, NOW! File a complaint. It will be recorded. He will think twice about pulling this stunt, and you will have started a paper trail for JIK down the line.
Good Luck, sending a prayer right now!


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2335 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
TxsT
Member
Member # 39996
Default  Posted: 5:40 PM, August 15th (Thursday)

POLICE....NOW....then a lawyer.

T


Me: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
Dday: 09/11/2012
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)

Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!


Posts: 605 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: CDN
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 5:43 PM, August 15th (Thursday)

Ditto to ^^^^^ he's unstable and needs to be kept from you and kids until he is stable. Take precautions..he sounds desperate and desperate people are capable of things they wouldn't normally do.


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5142 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
IslandGirl18
Member
Member # 36781
Default  Posted: 7:03 PM, August 15th (Thursday)

Call the police!!!


me: BS
him: WS

D Day: July 27, 2012
Day of first suspicion: 6/7/11
DD#2: November 2, 2012

Divorced


Posts: 105 | Registered: Sep 2012
girlsbird
Member
Member # 30877
Default  Posted: 8:58 PM, August 15th (Thursday)

Are you OK? Did you call the police?


D-Day 10/28/10..almost admission 7/10 Reconciled. I was the betrayed

Posts: 1203 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: arizona
StrongerOne
Member
Member # 36915
Default  Posted: 9:04 PM, August 15th (Thursday)

Police!

And then a women's shelter or domestic abuse hotline. You may need to get your kids and get out of the house to be safe. The women's shelter will help you figure out a safer way to do this.

Please let us know how you are doing. We're worried for you!

Big hugs. I hope you are safe


DDay Feb 2011.
In R.

Posts: 874 | Registered: Sep 2012
StrongerOne
Member
Member # 36915
Default  Posted: 9:05 PM, August 15th (Thursday)

Police!

And then a women's shelter or domestic abuse hotline. You may need to get your kids and get out of the house to be safe. The women's shelter will help you figure out a safer way to do this.

Please let us know how you are doing. We're worried for you!

Big hugs. I hope you are safe


DDay Feb 2011.
In R.

Posts: 874 | Registered: Sep 2012
EasyDoesIt
Member
Member # 29514
Default  Posted: 9:07 PM, August 15th (Thursday)

Sounds like he's been getting advice from one of his friends, they're always so full of great ideas. An attorney wouldn't have told him to do something like that.

Call the police, but they'll likely call it a civil matter and just ask him to leave of his own accord. They can't "make" him go anywhere. They can arrest him for disorderly conduct or something though.

You need to talk to a lawyer tomorrow.


Anything less than full disclosure and total transparency is pure bullshit. WARNING! No emotional pollution allowed.

Posts: 3698 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Georgia
Yakamishi
Member
Member # 38230
Default  Posted: 9:10 PM, August 15th (Thursday)

I'll be the small minority here...

You have no right to change the locks. You ARE denying him enter into his living quarters. Unless there is a restraining order or he has threatened you with bodily harm....all you are doing is acting out YOUR anger on him. Id be pissed too.

Btw, I know this because i was once in your shoes. And although it feels right at the time....its plain wrong. Legally and ethically.


Me: BH
Her: WW Mrs.yaka
Kids:4
Variouse clues to EA. WW promised it would stop.
D-Day of EA 9/13/2012 2:01PM found 2 yrs of text messages, confessed to EA
D-Day of PA: confessed on 9/22/12 11:53 PM. Worst moment of my life

Posts: 222 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Massachusetts
sadtoo
Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 9:15 PM, August 15th (Thursday)

You need to request a protection order TOMORROW MORNING. You need to be at the courthouse when they open the door.

Get a copy of the police report you filed and take it with you.

Do NOT underestimate this situation.


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 8032 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
Jospehine85
Member
Member # 35971
Default  Posted: 10:38 PM, August 15th (Thursday)

I am scared to let him see the kids as he is acting so crazy......

Yakamishi^^^ this is why she needs to call the police.

There is a difference between denying him access to his belongings and him bullying, sneaking in the back and acting crazy.

He may be entitled to the property if she simply changed the locks while he was out one day.

It is altogether something different if he abandoned the family or they have a separation agreement giving her the right to live in the house.

That is why she needs to see a lawyer ASAP.


Me - BS 40s
WH - 50s
4 Kids
Dday May 2012

Posts: 900 | Registered: Jun 2012
5454real
Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 10:46 PM, August 15th (Thursday)

Police first. Take the report to a lawyer. File a restraining order. Hope you got some of it recorded, or there were witnesses. Talk to the neighbors.

Take this seriously!!!!

Strength


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2999 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
hailstormer
Member
Member # 35873
Default  Posted: 11:12 PM, August 15th (Thursday)

Yakamishi....Jospehine is totally correct if you read her posts he is living elsewhere and like in my situation per the police dept and my atty they have NO RIGHT to come over and try and break-in. They said I had EVERY right to change the locks. A time has to be scheduled when both parties are there and agree to the meeting. It is considered abandonment to his wife and kids and he is an idiot for doing this with his kids there. His ass needs to be in jail...she doesn't need the anger cool off time HE DOES!
Good luck sleepless stand your ground for you and you kids!


me(BS)-55
him(WS)-53
together 21 years
1st D-Day 4-19-10
2nd D-Day 5-3-12
married 19 years
2 kids 13-twins
Unfortunately...divorcing

Posts: 122 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Florida
sleepless34
Member
Member # 40274
Default  Posted: 11:21 PM, August 15th (Thursday)

Okay, so I finally calmed down a little and things have a temporary fix. My SIL called him and told him to leave and he and he did.

Then he started robotically telling her about his legal rights, and yes, he does have a legal right to be in the house. I know this as I had already talked with lawyer a few days ago. SHe said he can legally come in with court order and change the locks right back. But I am just scared of this man I know longer know, just trying to protect myself.

But where I think I am in the right is that we had already discussed my need for him to leave me alone and I thought he agreed to back off a little. I tried to explain to him that I was still in trauma over this thing, happened only 1.5 weeks ago, and I am still trying to process it. I am not ready to see him, I am not ready to play nice in front of kids, I am not ready to discuss a custody plan or discuss legalities. I am simply trying to survive, take care of myself and do the best thing for the kids.

Last week He told me he wants to leave me for OW.Well, it is a longer and discusting story, and it took a week to get to the real truth from what he said first to what he really wants, but net of it is that he doesn't want to be married to me anymore.

He did not want to leave house, but I was so traumatized and mad when he did this to me (handled very poorly of course and out of no where) told the kids and layed a bunch of emotionally laden adult info on them before I had even processed it....well I did kick him out. He did not want to go, but I could not be around him.I had to get him out of here to think. To greive. I was hit with a bomb that he built, planned and dropped. I am dealing with bloody limbs, etc, while he has been living this double life and planning for 16 months.

I do not know who he is. I do not know what is happening. Traumatized, as marraige was good, no fights, no issues and then tells me of LTA and makes it seem like "so, things were bad for me, I was coward, I cheated, I am remorseful, I am sure you can never forgive me, but I can sleep in the guest room and we can figure out how to co-parent the children while living separate lives..." NO NO and No. I can't even look at him. I need time to process.

So, yes I kicked him out. He wants to be back. Legally he has the right to be, but morally- as a decent human- he made the choices he did and now I just want to be left alone for a little bit.

I am not denying access to the house in general, we discussed he would come in on weekend when his brother is here and get his stuff and we would talk as long as another rationale person is with me, I am okay with it. Other than that, I am pretty afraid of this person who I do not know.
So, I did not see his text- sent only 10 min before he tried to come in through back. door- and he started yelling at me like it was no big deal that he wanted to just pop in and get his stuff. Well, I am scared of him, and why wouldn't he just try to arrange it with me instead of barge in on me like that??

SO anyway, family members talked to him and thought they got through to him about leaving me alone and that we would talk this weekend and he can come in house this weekend when his brother is here. He shows no empathy for me, and is almost angry with me for this not playing out easier for him (with regards to living in house and seeing kids all the time)I am letting him see kids, He talks to them 2x day phone. Jeez, isn't that enough. Can't I just be left alone. Is that too much to ask????

I have appt with another lawyer, but can't get in to see her (she is good) until next week. I think it will be okay, with BIL here and my mom is here.

So that is my update. Gonna have some xanax now....


Me BW- 40ish, awesome
Cheating scusband 40ish
2 kids, elementary school age
Bomb dropped Aug 4 out of nowhere...

Posts: 443 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Hell
WoundedOpus
Member
Member # 39521
Default  Posted: 6:15 AM, August 16th (Friday)

In most jurisdictions (if your name is on the deed) you do in fact have every legal right to change the locks on your home. If your spouse is also on the deed, they usually have the legal right to call a locksmith and have them changed as well. If you two had an agreement for him to live elsewhere, no matter how reluctant he was to the agreement, then he should respect that. If he changed his mind fine, act like a rational person and either first discuss it during normal day light hours or show up at a reasonable time with the locksmith. A rational husband does not skulk around in the dark trying to break in and scare the hell out of his wife. A rational husband knows this would freak her out, so you can conclude he is not rational and should be treated as such.

(((Sleepless34)))

I would seriously consider getting a RO. I know most WS are just scared and hurt and freaking when their BS put space between them, but some are not stable. If he has ever given you reason to believe he would go batshit on you, now is the time he just might do it...

I am scared of this man.
I am scared, shaking, ready to throw up.
He is acting like a lunatic.
I do not know who this person is.
I am scare of letting him see the kids acting this crazy.
..you (WS) are acting like a psychopath.

I don't care WHO'S house it is and what agreements are or aren't in place...if anyone feels like this, they have every right to protect themselves and their children!

My first H was like this. If I ever tried to leave, or keep him away from me, he would go ballistic...and it is scary as hell. Please let us know how you are Sleepless!

[This message edited by WoundedOpus at 6:18 AM, August 16th (Friday)]


Me: BW 37
Him: WH 38
(DDay: 2/2008)
13 years, 5 kids...Six years of Limbo

“I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I have just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well." ~ Diane Ackerman


Posts: 178 | Registered: Jun 2013
doesitgetbetter
Member
Member # 18429
Default  Posted: 9:53 AM, August 16th (Friday)

Sleepless, call as many lawyers as you can (especially the better ones) and set up the free consultations with each one and just hammer them out. This way, your WH can't use them if it comes to D and custody, it would be a conflict of interest since they already talked to you.


DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - FWS
Us - Committed
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
"Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." Isaiah 48:10

Posts: 3859 | Registered: Feb 2008
sleepless34
Member
Member # 40274
Default  Posted: 10:02 AM, August 16th (Friday)

Sleepless actually slept!

I am okay, feeling better today. His brother and SIL both called him and explained to him that he is scaring me and that he needs to show some empathy for what I am feeling and leave me alone.
Jeez?? It is like he is all pissed off that this is not going down how he wanted. I go back to "what did you expect would happen"

He is still not "getting it" that this is all of his doing and his actions, and is not internalizing it. He says the words. I am forever sorry. What I did was horribly wrong. I am remorseful. But, he isn't really feeling it. Not really understanding the gravity of the situation and the ripple effect of those actions.

It is like he is pissed at me that I am not just over it already and amiably co-parenting the kids together and letting him in the house to make them dinner and tuck them in. Serioulsy?? What person could do that? I can't even look at this person without wanting to either throw up or punch in face.

He has been living a double life for a long long time so lying and pretending in front of me and the kids comes so easy. It almost seems like he is blaming me that I can't just act normal around the kids and play house and compartmentalize all my other feelings toward him.

That is an unrealistic expectation of any compassionate human.

What can you say to a person that doesn't "get it." I need him to get it as I have to deal with him over the kids and the house and figure out the separation and then a divorce. If he continues to act like a robot or like an insane person directing his anger over the situation at me this is only going to be messier and more expensive.

How do you get them to "get it."

Back story: marraige seemed happy, he told me 10 days ago out of nowhere that he had 1.5 year long affair. Seemed originally like a confession asking for forgiveness. Then said I want to have you both. Then I don't love you I love her. Let me sleep in guest room and we'll talk. Then some sort of begging for forgiveness and making it work. Then denying ever saying he said he wanted to make it work and that he was always saying he wanted to be with her. Then denying what he told others/family etc- which was that he admitted to affair and I kicked him out. I did kick him out but he wanted out of marraige anyway I did not say marraige over he did, but he can't seem to OWN that it is really what he wanted. HE wanted to leave me, but he isn't accepting that and now blaming me!

Married 13 years, 2 little people

May file a complaint or incident report with police today to have record. I am going to try to get into L earlier, have appt for next week.


Me BW- 40ish, awesome
Cheating scusband 40ish
2 kids, elementary school age
Bomb dropped Aug 4 out of nowhere...

Posts: 443 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Hell
WoundedOpus
Member
Member # 39521
Default  Posted: 10:13 AM, August 16th (Friday)

I'm glad you seem to be doing ok today.

Get in to see a L ASAP! Haven't gone that road myself, but I'm pretty sure whoever files paperwork first has a HUGE uperhand. I'm pretty sure if you get it done before he does, you can legally get him out and keep him out, even under a seperation agreement. So please call around and get to a lawyer, any lawyer, as soon as you can.


Me: BW 37
Him: WH 38
(DDay: 2/2008)
13 years, 5 kids...Six years of Limbo

“I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I have just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well." ~ Diane Ackerman


Posts: 178 | Registered: Jun 2013
PurpleRose
Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 11:05 AM, August 16th (Friday)

Please file that report. You should have called 911 last night while it was happening.

You also need to file Temporary orders to legally keep him from waltzing over any time he feels like it. Unless and until you begin to make this legal, you are really at he mercy of his conscious.

Ahem.

Please protect yourself and your kids. You can't take this sort of crazy behavior lightly. PM me if you need to chat- I have a 2 year protective order on my exWH because he went batshit crazy and assaulted me.


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3612 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
sleepless34
Member
Member # 40274
Default  Posted: 11:28 AM, August 16th (Friday)

Thank you. I am going to talk with my therapist today and trying to get into lawyer asap. I did call police and they told me basically I got nothing on him unless I was physically threatened...boo. I am going to talk to lawyer and figure out best next steps. I don't want to do anything that is going to pour gas on the fire, but this is gettin' ugly.


Me BW- 40ish, awesome
Cheating scusband 40ish
2 kids, elementary school age
Bomb dropped Aug 4 out of nowhere...

Posts: 443 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Hell
sadtoo
Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 11:43 AM, August 16th (Friday)

I don't want to do anything that is going to pour gas on the fire, but this is gettin' ugly.

Please, please, please INSIST that there is a police report filed. No, they are not going to "do anything" at this point because there is no immediate threat. He's not there right now and he is not in violation of any order.

But you really need to get to the courthouse and request a protection order. If you think your IL's are going to protect you and your kids from him when he's angry, you are mistaken.

This is nothing. What do you think is going to happen when you "pour gas on the fire" by filing for divorce, asking to keep the marital home, asking for child support and alimony and half his pension?? He's pissed right now over something that HE HAS CAUSED and AGREED TO DO??!!

You cannot nice your way through a divorce with a lunatic. IT. DOES. NOT. WORK.

The problem here is if you don't act on this as an urgent matter, the police and other authorities will NOT take you seriously.


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 8032 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
homewrecked2011
Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 11:52 AM, August 16th (Friday)

My XH pulled this type of crap, too, after 15 years of NO drama, no arguing, etc.

I told my children that night, that our home is our safe haven from the world. NO ONE, not even their father will scare us like this again. I promised them if he ever came here again w/o letting me know first, that I would call the police. He did and I did. That was the last trouble we had out of him.

Please next time call the police -- they will tell you like they told me, go to an atty, but at least you have this on file.

Please get a spiral notebook and write everything down. Daily. One day you might be in court, and you don't want him to get 50/50 custody.

Also, when my H was like this right after he left, he was having a breakdown. I could have had him put in a mental hospital for a couple of weeks and it might have saved our family --he would have gotten serious help.

[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 11:52 AM, August 16th (Friday)]


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2217 | Registered: Jan 2012
sleepless34
Member
Member # 40274
Default  Posted: 12:52 AM, August 17th (Saturday)

So, I did call the police and they told me basically he can enter the home, it is community property, blah blah blah. If I was threatened leave or get court order. MEH!

He is calling ILs telling them I am irrational and am denying him entry to his property and interfering with his custodial rights. Ya, Whatever. They told him HE is acting irrational and crazy and that I am in no way doing any of these things. Lawyer told me same thing. I did not file report, but I called and they have my concern on file. They stated the law and I have no right to keep him out and that if I need a court order I need to go get RO, but sounds so Jerry SPringer....but it is on file anyway.


I have been advised to play nice nice nice to get what I want. He send me note agreeing to certain terms of the separation that I asked for (DUMBY that he is)and so that is to my advantage. I am waiting to see really good ATTY this week and have been told time is on my side, I am totally doing the right things and he has nothing on me.

I know he has an ATTy on retainer, but this guy must be pretty bad or my BH just dumb, but he has nothing really. Trying to antagonize me and trying to get me to act irrational, but I have the ability to be a stone cold Bitch if that is how he wants to play it.

So funny- he was saying I wouldn't let him see the kids which is not true. I said, sure take them out tonight. They did NOT even want to go and said "why is Daddy wanting to see us so much these days, I am kinda sick of him" and then when they met him he was acting overly excited, swinging my little one around very dramatically and the older one says "I don't know why he is doing this, he NEVER does this kind of thing" as in You never were really that interested in the kids until you realized what you lost. You were pretty much checked out as a Dad, nice Dad, but not proactive by any stretch. Who knows, maybe he will be a better Dad now that I am not there to tell him how to be a better DAD.


Me BW- 40ish, awesome
Cheating scusband 40ish
2 kids, elementary school age
Bomb dropped Aug 4 out of nowhere...

Posts: 443 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Hell
eyesrnowopen
Member
Member # 39055
Default  Posted: 9:23 AM, August 17th (Saturday)

Sleepless, you are doing all the right things. I would just warn you that until you have a remorseful WH he will escalate the anger and entitled behaviors. My WH is playing victim now due to loss of his home. He has stayed out of the house for over 5 months. When i am out of town, he stays at our house without my permission and he reminds me often that he does not need this. He has recently showed up to see the kids and i wake up to see him on the couch. I don't react. He doesn't care how I feel so there is no point in it.

He is with IC and we are about to end MC because it has been a waste of time with an an angry entitled spouse. He points to me and my not being able to get over it.

Now he has given an ultimatum he has removed his paycheck from our account unless he is allowed back. I no longer have triggers when I see him. I am able to remain calm but I also will not be bullied. My L is ready to file and so am I. He can move back at any time and I can petition that he not be allowed back. But unless he is a threat, he probably will move right back in.

Strategically, he is saying that he has to pull his check out in order to get a place to live. I have made it clear that he requires a place to live regardless if he is unhappy with living with his mother. I am proposing that he get a place and we can keep the finances transparent and continue to work on building trust one step at a time. Hopefully if I can get him to establish another residency this will cease to be a threat.

My point to telling you my story is to have you realize this could take awhile and you need to have him or the people advising him to get him into a living arrangement that he can stick with because the longer this goes on the more angrier and entitled he will become.

Another option to consider is getting a postnup that gives you the house should you divorce for any reason. Talk to your L and see if this works in your state. Your DD is recent so he may be in quite the foggy state to sign it. Take advantage of this.

Take care of yourself. Set boundaries and assert them.


This is the work within, having control over the outcome of our lives. Robert Bly refers to this as “Warrior work.” A warrior fights for a cause, something he believes in. As opposed to a soldier who merely fights for control – power or profit.

Posts: 99 | Registered: Apr 2013
sleepless34
Member
Member # 40274
Default  Posted: 8:19 PM, August 19th (Monday)

Thank you everyone for the advice.

The situation is under control. MY BIL came to town and talked to him. Then he moderated a meeting (he is an atty, not a D atty, but good at this stuff anyway) and he helped us come to a list of agreements about the kids, the house, the contact, etc.

He has agreed not to come over here like that ever again. Not to try and paint me like the irrational one. Agreed to back off. I agreed to a weekly schedule for him seeing kids. He agreed no legal battle, will take it at my pace.

Of course I know he is a lying, cheating AHOLE, so not sure any of that matters. But he does love kids and I do think he understands what I need now. He says he will keep paying the bills. We are going to go to a DIvorce/separation counselor too. This person will act as an objective person to moderate how to handle the kids for this interim period and also help if this gets into custody issues later in court....as I guess not all Counselors can do that, have to be court certified...

So, immediate disaster averted. I feel like I have the upper hand. I still feel like crap bc he is not remorseful and just wants to "get this all done." No EMPATHY AT ALL. UGGGG


Me BW- 40ish, awesome
Cheating scusband 40ish
2 kids, elementary school age
Bomb dropped Aug 4 out of nowhere...

Posts: 443 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Hell
Topic Posts: 27