SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Reconciliation
User Topic: trying to not let todays date get to me
hurtingarmywife
New Member
Member # 38690
Default  Posted: 8:19 PM, August 15th (Thursday)

One year ago today was when my WH met the OW for dinner for the first time. The A lasted 5 months. We are now in R and doing very well. But, when I woke up this morning this date was on my mind.
It is hard keeping my mind off of the two of them and what they were doing a year ago. It started with a dinner, then back to her apartment and then sex. My WH wished so much he would of never met her for dinner and that he would of not given in to temptation.
She has done everything possible to ruin his military career since he confessed everything to me and broke it off with her.
After dday I found her on fb and she would put posts like she was the one being cheated on and I was the OW. Wow!
It has been a rough road and one I never thought I would be on!

Posts: 34 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: midwest
AFrayedKnot
Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 8:48 PM, August 15th (Thursday)

(((Hurtingarmywife)))


BS 39
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2527 | Registered: Aug 2012
Hearthache again
Member
Member # 28564
Default  Posted: 11:23 PM, August 15th (Thursday)

((((hurtingarmywife)))

We have all been there and it sucks. I still hate any day that is a 26. Both of my ddays were on the 26th of a month.

I hope this day passes with as little heartache as possible.


Me-BS(32)
Him-WS(35)
Married-12 years together 13
Kids 4: 15, 12, 8, and 3
DDay#1 9-26-2008 Dday#2 4-26-2010
We have R!!! But I still hate the number 26!

This too shall pass
I edit a lot because that stupid box is so small!


Posts: 871 | Registered: May 2010 | From: Michigan
sisoon
Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 9:54 AM, August 16th (Friday)

It's hard not to think of something you don't want to think about. Why not let yourself dwell on it for a while and see what happens? You may think about it for a while and then stop naturally.


fBH (me) - 65+, fWW (her) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 9734 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
BeyondBreaking
Member
Member # 38020
Default  Posted: 12:01 PM, August 16th (Friday)

My advice is to keep busy and try to keep busy to keep your mind off of it. Do something fun- YOU go out to dinner with your husband, go get nails done, go to the spa, or take yourself out to dinner. Make plans with a friend, go see a movie you wanted to see...do something fun to take your mind off of today. Better yet? Pick something on your bucket list, and cross it off today. Take back the day, and make it about YOU.


I have been cheated on by 3 different men, and I have more DDays than anyone ever should. I am here, just trying to pickup the pieces.

At least the current man "only" cyber-cheated.

"Love means never having to say you're sorry."


Posts: 840 | Registered: Jan 2013
hurtingarmywife
New Member
Member # 38690
Default  Posted: 12:22 PM, August 16th (Friday)

Thanks everyone for all of the advice!! It helps so much to talk with others who can relate.
My friends have husbands that have been faithful. So I really don't have anyone else to talk to about these situations.
You can always imagine what you would do if your husband cheated, but until it actually happens, you don't have a clue!

Posts: 34 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: midwest
StillLivin
Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 7:05 PM, August 16th (Friday)

hurting

Is she in the military too? Are you on a military installation.
Fortunately, there is a lot you can do to her to keep her from harrassing you if she is also military or works for military?


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/7/2014

Posts: 2132 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
1956
Member
Member # 33045
Default  Posted: 9:45 AM, August 17th (Saturday)

Hi there Hurting,

I'm checking back in to this site and I see you and your husband have made a go of it.
I am so glad. I can relate to the date thing and the memories that we allow to hurt us further.
I wasted a lot of my time on this and for no reason......
The affair is over and your husband is remorseful........forgive him and release yourself from that affair as well, stop checking her facebook page, bury her like the garbage she is, the time you waste thinking about her and the affair is time you can be thinking about your husband your life your family, don't let her have any more of that, you let her win by doing this.......no more okay........you are better than her and that affair.....
when you have dates like this I want you to plan a day that will erase any memories of what he did with her. make him remember you........got it.......you have the power to change those dates.....
I gave my husband a lot of new days to remember, be sexy flirty and be the wife he can't resist, love him and every day you spend with him.....you make the difference on those days ......
hope your sons wedding went well, my oldest also got married a couple of weeks ago, so wonderful to have my family in tack and all loving each other
take care


Posts: 65 | Registered: Aug 2011
hurtingarmywife
New Member
Member # 38690
Default  Posted: 9:10 PM, August 18th (Sunday)

StillLivin-No she is not in the military. Just a young female with a lowlife job looking for a man to take care of her. So, I can not do anything about her. But, she is now out of the picture!
1956-Thank you so much!! You are amazing and your advice is perfect! You have been so much help to me!

Posts: 34 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: midwest
Topic Posts: 9