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Reconciliation
User Topic: Nuking vs Sautéing
Steppenwolf
Member
Member # 38140
Default  Posted: 9:12 AM, August 16th (Friday)

As someone who works with food daily, I often use it (metaphorically or otherwise) for self help.
This morning I was feeling down about how I am showing up for R and how it's progressing, when I had a bit of an uplift.
Reconciliation should not be microwaved. Christ, nothing really should be microwaved. The time and care you put into R will yield a more balanced R. One cannot just press a button, wait a few minutes and expect an authentic marriage. It takes time. It takes patience. It takes setbacks. It takes effort.
I am sautéing my R. It won't be done in two minutes and thirty seconds. It will simmer. It will bubble. It may burn. But with the right ingredients, it just might sing. And most importantly, it will be authentic.


Me: WS- 30s
Her: BS- 30s RockyMtn



Posts: 126 | Registered: Jan 2013
ladies_first
Member
Member # 24643
Default  Posted: 10:38 AM, August 16th (Friday)

Love, love, love this analogy!

Especially since we need to eat 3 times a day; we need to feed our relationships frequently, too.


"We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." ~J. Campbell
"In the final analysis, it is your own attitude that will make or break you, not what has happened to you." ~D. Galloway

Posts: 2143 | Registered: Jun 2009
LosferWords
Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 11:24 AM, August 16th (Friday)

Awesome, awesome analogy, Steppenwolf.

I tried nuking my R at first, and it all shortly turned to crap.

Been putting it through a slow smoker ever since.

Low and slow, my friend.

Take care.


"I would rather take a punch than not give you a shot. I'd rather find out who you are than who you're not."

Posts: 6283 | Registered: Dec 2010
Cliffhanger101
New Member
Member # 40218
Default  Posted: 11:37 AM, August 16th (Friday)

This is nice. Of course, I just want things better now, immediately--nuke style! But, I know slow and easy will give much better results. Thanks for a new way to think about it.

Posts: 10 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: CliffHanger101
doesitgetbetter
Member
Member # 18429
Default  Posted: 11:37 AM, August 16th (Friday)

Along with that, I like to think of it not as sautéing, but as bringing to a boil and then letting it simmer to thicken up and really take the flavor. If my H would have started off sautéing, we might not have made it very far. Turn that sucker to boil, then let it simmer.


DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - FWS
Us - Committed
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
"Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." Isaiah 48:10

Posts: 3859 | Registered: Feb 2008
Topic Posts: 5