SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
New Beginnings
User Topic: The dance is over
gahurts
Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 12:17 PM, August 16th (Friday)

Not sure if this belongs here or in S/D but today starts a new day.

For the past year I've done a dance twice a month. I'd pull the SS out of my bank in cash. Drive across the parking lot to xWW's bank and deposit her SS into her checking account.

I've never been late and the one time when I would be I went out of my way to do partial autodeposits and then get the rest to her before the actual due date. The amount is too large to do electronic transfers between banks overnight - it would take 3 business days minimum which would have been a problem for her. None the less, the past few months she would text me the night before asking when I would deposit the money. Even the day I had minor surgery, she never aske dhow I felt, just when was she getting her money.

Today I made the last SS payment I will ever make! It was temporary, spelled out in the agreement for a year and I kept it to a year plus one payday past the actual date that the judge signed the decree. No more.

Starting next payday I will actually:

-pay my bills on time again
-buy a queen sized bedroom suite
-buy the kids overdue birthday presents.
-Save up to and replace the nasty carpets in the house with wood floors
-Relax because the stress is a lot less
-Actually start adding to my savings account.

Today is a really good day!

ETA: CS will be electronically transferred the day after every payday. And by agrement I help with some or all of the costs the kids need on clothes, school supplies, etc.

And I am still paying off her van but that is electronic and the important thing is I should never get another text saying when are you depositing "MY MONEY!"

[This message edited by gahurts at 12:21 PM, August 16th (Friday)]


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3333 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
hexed
Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 12:27 PM, August 16th (Friday)

nothing more than "LIKE"! that's so good!


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8407 | Registered: Apr 2008
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 12:51 PM, August 16th (Friday)

HOORAY!!!! I think there's definite NB material here - that you are focusing on the changes in your life this milestone will make. (ps: you left out the expenditure for procuring deep-fried butter on a stick)

Congratulations, ga!!


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24436 | Registered: Aug 2011
GabyBaby
Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 12:52 PM, August 16th (Friday)

Woohoo!!!!
Or as Mel Gibson shouted at the end of "Braveheart": Freeeeeeedoooooooom!!!!!!!!!!


Me - 42
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4yrs, together 7yrs total

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
5 Furkids (3 Dogs, 2 Cats)

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

Note: I edit often for typos/clarity.


Posts: 6077 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
Thelastknight
Member
Member # 21851
Default  Posted: 12:52 PM, August 16th (Friday)

great job!


"Pain is weakness leaving the body"

Reformed BS 39 xWW 34
Two kids 5 and 2


Posts: 951 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: NW
better4me
Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 2:23 PM, August 16th (Friday)

Today is a really good day!


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3011 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
gma56
Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 3:36 PM, August 16th (Friday)

You have definitely taken the step to freedom !
Enjoy the peace that comes with the conclusionof SS.

Gma


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. I lost my family but gained a second chance to be happy.

Posts: 20323 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 3:47 PM, August 16th (Friday)

I like your NB plans.

Congrats on finishing the dance!!!


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5611 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 5:08 PM, August 16th (Friday)


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4554 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
newnormal
Member
Member # 21925
Default  Posted: 6:09 PM, August 16th (Friday)

Way to go!!!!! Class act

And I love your plan laid out in bullets


BS 43 (me)
FWH 48
D-day 9/07

Dont retreat, reload.
"Pull that knife out of your back - and sever the fuel line to that bus you got thrown under" Bufffalo


Posts: 1033 | Registered: Dec 2008
somanyyears
Member
Member # 26970
Default  Posted: 7:12 PM, August 16th (Friday)

.. time now to start planning your next vacation!

..NO MORE ALIMONY---NO MORE ALIMONY--- HAS A NICE RING TO IT EH?

..reminds me of how i felt when i made my last mortgage payment!

Whoopie!

smy


trust no other human- love only your pets
She isn't and never was who I thought..I can't believe who I married and what she did to us.
Me 67
Her 63
Married 42 yrs (together 47)
18 yr LTA with bf


Posts: 4103 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: the sad state of affairs
kernel
Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 7:17 PM, August 16th (Friday)

Awesome post - congrats!


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% - and that's pretty good."

Posts: 4924 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 10:05 PM, August 16th (Friday)

You have a great attitude gahurts - so glad you are moving forward to a better stage!!!


Me: BW-43
Him: XWH-43
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4376 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 7:20 AM, August 17th (Saturday)

" like".


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4855 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Bebba1171
Member
Member # 33857
Default  Posted: 8:56 AM, August 17th (Saturday)

Congrats GA!!


Divorced by Interlocutory decree in May 2012. WW had an affair with a 66 yo doctor she worked for.
D-Day Sept 16. 2011.
BH- 52 (Me) / XWW 50 - ages back in 2011
Two great kids that don't deserve this!

Posts: 726 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: USA
Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 9:01 AM, August 17th (Saturday)

I can feel the relief in your post


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 19806 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
wonderingbull
Member
Member # 14833
Default  Posted: 11:06 AM, August 17th (Saturday)

The shackles are removed... Time to enjoy the first days of the rest of your life!

WB


The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...

James Taylor


Posts: 5952 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: A better place
gahurts
Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 6:51 AM, August 18th (Sunday)

Thank you everyone. It is a huge relief to be through with that.


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3333 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
Topic Posts: 18