Yes, we have this too. It makes my anxiety buzz because of how he left. He also spoke of wanting DD to go there to live, so every time he's late, I have this sinking gut feeling.
Time is a boundary and in his mind, he doesn't need boundaries...they are for other people.
The experience it is making is so much extra stress that I don't say much to him directly. That's what I do, tell my lawyer. I write it down in a journal I hide and when there is a lawyer meeting, I do a very brief complaint to him and he finds a way to get it said when there's a meeting next time.
For a time, I was trying to save the money and "work with" Nearly ExH, but his personality is so that you can't just say a negative thing directly to him-he will switch it and find a way to "get you instead".
It depends on the personality of your X and the types of words you use-I often consider Nearly ExH like a school kid I may tutor, when they've been naughty, where sometimes a direct hit blows up at you.
I learned to do it in a "parallel" way, where I make it about our child and not him. Or I make it about me and not him, even though it's him doing the action-rather, I make it about the reaction.Ashland 13
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess