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Just Found Out
User Topic: I'm done
savvy
Member
Member # 39102
Default  Posted: 10:10 PM, August 16th (Friday)

After my Wh broke off affair and we started MC .... It only took him about 2 weeks to contact her again. I found out and now am filing for divorce. I am beyond hurt! I don't want to give up our 30 years together But what else can I do I can never trust him again! He still saying he's not ready to pull the plug on our marriage but doesn't know what he wants. Oh well too late I am pulling the plug. I am in so much pain I feel like I am going to jump out of my skin. Will I ever get over the fact that my husband/best friend of 30 years has done this to me and wants to be with this OW. All I want to do is lay in bed although not allowing myself to. Can't stop crying for more than an hour. Please tell me I will recover!


me-BS (49)
him-WH (49)
2 children 21 and 19
Together 30 years
Ow-(30)and she knew me knew he is married.
D-day 1 4/24/2013
D-day 2. 7/9/2013. Day after anniversary
D-day 3. 8/12/13.
Filing for divorce

Posts: 135 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: connecticut
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 10:22 PM, August 16th (Friday)

(((hugs)))

tissue. Buy many boxes.

(((more hugs)))

You will survive this. It is totally acceptable to have a few days of feeling like you can't or don't want to crawl out of bed!!

It gets better. You will find things that empower you. Things you enjoy that you had stopped doing. New things you enjoy that you only now discover!

Time is a four letter word. But it so does the trick.

(((more hugs)))


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5617 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
womaninflux
Member
Member # 39667
Default  Posted: 10:28 PM, August 16th (Friday)

I recently went through this...DD was mid March, finally admitted to an affair late march, AP said they should take a "break" (ya think???) continued contact with AP through April (just admitted to that), suspected that was happening and SAWH just admitted a few days ago that he finally broke it off first week of May (this happened early may and he admitted he lied about where he was that day but he covered it with another lie which I did not believe fully and he finally admitted truth - so similar to your situation).

I'm not giving up...I know it sounds odd but I am finally believing in him again. Coming clean is not easy for him. He's in therapy with a CSAT and in MC and on Prozac. This (and other admissions this week) were a big deal.



BS - mid-40's
SAWH - mid 40's
Kids - 2 elementary school aged
Getting tons of therapy and trying to "work it out"

Posts: 855 | Registered: Jun 2013
BrighterFuture
Member
Member # 38914
Default  Posted: 10:56 PM, August 16th (Friday)

Since he has repeatedly broke NC, go ahead and file out of respect for yourself. If he truly values you he will do everything in his power to end it with the OW and fight to get you back at which point you can stop the divorce process. Be good to you because he's not.

Hugs and I'm sorry for your pain.


Me:30
Him:31
D-day:2/24/13 (I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time and DS was 15 months)
Status: Parted ways!

"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.


Posts: 335 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Ohio
Skan
Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 12:46 PM, August 17th (Saturday)

I''m so sorry. (((hugs))) It''s more than OK to decide that this is what you need to do. Be kind to yourself this weekend.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4588 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
niaveone
Member
Member # 40317
Default  Posted: 4:48 PM, August 17th (Saturday)

I'm so sorry for you. Be kind to yourself, don't expect to get ANYTHING done and just go somewhere to get out of Dodge for a couple days. You need fresh air, and a new perspective. And your WS needs to sweat.


Me: BS
Him: WS
Married: 16 years
2 children
2 DDays

Posts: 193 | Registered: Aug 2013
HardenMyHeart
Member
Member # 15902
Default  Posted: 5:27 PM, August 17th (Saturday)

(((savvy))) So sorry.


Me: BH, Her: FWW - Long Term EA/PA
d-day: June 25, 2007
Married 30 years, Reconciled

Posts: 5624 | Registered: Aug 2007
noprincess
Member
Member # 38660
Default  Posted: 9:16 PM, August 17th (Saturday)

(((savvy))) I'm so sorry, hon. I'm right there with you. You will survive this, you will.


"Never, never, never give up." - Winston Churchill

Posts: 138 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
Topic Posts: 8