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New Beginnings
User Topic: Still Hurts
Harriet
Member
Member # 34543
Default  Posted: 12:06 AM, August 18th (Sunday)

Hello, I have been reading these posts for a long time. I could relate to so many of the posts and of course it helps not to feel so alone. I was really doing well, accepting the pain but moving forward. Now, so much later, I feel like I've fallen back into the pit and I don't know why. I feel so much loneliness. How long does it take? Why can't I seem to get over it? Short history: ex had several affairs thoughout our entire marriage. We tried reconciliation and I thought we were doing well when he told me one day, nevermind! I don't love you after all. Divorced him quickly after that. He's been with another woman ever since, I haven't even had one date.


D-Day Spring 2008
3 years false R
Divorce Final 6/7/12

Posts: 394 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: California
Thelastknight
Member
Member # 21851
Default  Posted: 12:21 AM, August 18th (Sunday)

I wouldn't give it much thought. It just takes time. Finding someone because your lonely is a recipe for a lot of regret.


"Pain is weakness leaving the body"

Reformed BS 39 xWW 34
Two kids 5 and 2


Posts: 951 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: NW
devistatedmom
Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 5:48 PM, August 18th (Sunday)

Harriet, what are you doing for you? I find I fall back into the pit when I'm not accomplishing anything, or getting out at all. I try to get out to lunch with friends, I'm busy decluttering my house, I'm busy with the kids, I talk to other adults when I'm out there. I still find that I get in the dumps about not dating...but I also know I'm not putting myself out there to date. One, because of time, two, because I'm too chicken to go out many places by myself!

So, if you are feeling stuck in that pit, what are you going to do to climb out? Join a group, take a class, whatever...just change something up. Set yourself a goal to do something or join something before the end of the month, and do it!

I have to take my own advice...in October. September is a nutty month for me.


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5376 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
Harriet
Member
Member # 34543
Default  Posted: 12:42 AM, August 19th (Monday)

You are right, devistated. I have slacked off from doing the things that help me move on. But sometimes I get tired of always finding things to do, or friends to hang out with, and I just wish I could just be at peace with myself. I'm so sad and it's so discouraging. I just hope that it's a temporary setback.


D-Day Spring 2008
3 years false R
Divorce Final 6/7/12

Posts: 394 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: California
Topic Posts: 4