SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Reconciliation
User Topic: Two Happy Steps Forward
RippedSoul
Member
Member # 40055
Default  Posted: 11:43 PM, August 18th (Sunday)

My H is leaving town for a week tomorrow morning. He's been out-of-town often since D-day (the first four months he traveled several days a week, every single week). But today, completely on his own and without hints from me, he set up a Facetime acount for both of us so we could communicate face to face while he's gone. Maybe I'm reading WAAAAAAY too much into that gesture, but it seemed extremely loving and trust-building to me. While we were testing it out, I couldn't stop grinning. :)

And yesterday morning, while cuddling after being intimate, we had a conversation that went a little like this:

Him: "This is wonderful. This is real."
Me: With feigned surprise, "So you're not just a figment of my imagination? Not my dream man?"
Him: "I am your dream man, but I'm in reality now."

He was DEEP in the fog after his A. Although he 'fessed up at the end of January, recommitted to me in mid-February, and has been increasingly kind ever since, our R's still felt shaky because of his SA and my inability to rebuild trust by seeing his e-mail/texts (secure work environment and equipment). Just in the last three weeks, he's really seemed to be TRYING. Does that make any sense? He'd been making progress before, but to me it felt like he was just going through the motions for the most part, like something was holding him back.

Just wanted to share in case anyone was in a similar situation. Things can and do get better. It's hard to imagine ever getting to the point where I never fear for him, for us, again, but these steps give me hope.


BW: 49; SLAWH: 46; M: 23 yrs
DD#1--11/30/12 (prostitute #1)
DD#2--1/29/13 (AP, escorts #1 & #2)
DD#3--9/13 (trolling MILF site)
DD#4--10/8/13 (EA with AP cont'd)
DD: 20; DD: 18; DS: 16; DS: 14
PS: I've NEVER NOT edited my posts

Posts: 395 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: California
LosferWords
Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 12:17 AM, August 19th (Monday)

I think this is awesome.

A couple of years ago I had to work 1800 miles away for an extended period of time. This was about 10 months after d-day, and things were going very rough. My wife suggested that we had nightly Skype sessions. The fact that it was her idea made it that more special to me.

I personally don't think you are reading too much into that gesture at all.

These are very good steps. Thanks for sharing this.


Posts: 6216 | Registered: Dec 2010
TxsT
Member
Member # 39996
Default  Posted: 1:25 AM, August 19th (Monday)

It is nice to hear a positive post for a change. Good for you and keep on moving forward. Each step will bring you closer to your goal.

T


Me: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
Dday: 09/11/2012
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)

Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!


Posts: 605 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: CDN
AFrayedKnot
Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 6:37 AM, August 19th (Monday)


BS 39
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2527 | Registered: Aug 2012
Skan
Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 7:09 PM, August 19th (Monday)

That''s really lovely! What a great gesture!


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4585 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
RippedSoul
Member
Member # 40055
Default  Posted: 11:33 PM, August 20th (Tuesday)

Thanks, y'all! Happy to share the good news with someone who "gets" it. :)


BW: 49; SLAWH: 46; M: 23 yrs
DD#1--11/30/12 (prostitute #1)
DD#2--1/29/13 (AP, escorts #1 & #2)
DD#3--9/13 (trolling MILF site)
DD#4--10/8/13 (EA with AP cont'd)
DD: 20; DD: 18; DS: 16; DS: 14
PS: I've NEVER NOT edited my posts

Posts: 395 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: California
Topic Posts: 6