SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Divorce/Separation
User Topic: decisions, decisions
sunsetslost
Member
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 10:07 AM, August 19th (Monday)

I've made a decision the last couple of days. I just got back from a solo vacation to scout out my new condo on the Gulf Coast. I spent a lot of time alone. I saw some family and old friends. I spent a lot of time letting go.

On the drive back it occurred to me that I don't want to be with a person that has the capacity to do this to another human being, let alone a faithful and loving husband of almost 8 years. I've read that the average R takes at least 3-5 years. She'll be in her mid 40's by then. She is not trying to string it along and has made every indication that she is moving on so I will as well. I want to start over. I want to have a family. I want to be able to trust again. I don't want to live the life of checking her phone records and emails every day. I don't want to go to bed with her and think about her actions. I don't want to be with a person that doesn't want to be with me. I deserve to love again. I deserve to be happy again. I can't have those things with her. The sadness is so overpowering but my new opportunities and new life are so exciting to think about.


Divorced 7/11/14. New Beginning on the Gulf of Mexico. It's real nice.

Posts: 747 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: The beach.
Abbondad
Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 10:15 AM, August 19th (Monday)

Sunsetslost,

I could have written this myself. All these reasons made me file for divorce from the (I thought) love of my life.

We can't live a life like the one you describe. Take the plunge and live the life you deserve.

Strength


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1616 | Registered: Dec 2012
dmari
Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 11:28 AM, August 19th (Monday)

EXACTLY!! You have the right mindset and attitude! I especially love this line of yours "The sadness is so overpowering but my new opportunities and new life are so exciting to think about." SO TRUE! Congratulations on your decision!


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Settled at mediation
Officially divorced ... SOON!

Posts: 2193 | Registered: Oct 2012
SeanFLA
Member
Member # 32380
Default  Posted: 12:14 PM, August 19th (Monday)

I myself would love to just pack it all up and move out to the gulf coast...preferably the Destin area. Start all over in an area I love. But unfortunately my son is here. And until he's done with high school and on to a college of his choice I think I'm kind of stuck for now. But I do think I want to retire out that way.


BS(me) 48
WW 46
1 son 14 yrs old
Married 18 yrs, together 21 yrs

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." ~ Bob Marley


Posts: 1466 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Zombie Land
Topic Posts: 4