I've made a decision the last couple of days. I just got back from a solo vacation to scout out my new condo on the Gulf Coast. I spent a lot of time alone. I saw some family and old friends. I spent a lot of time letting go.
On the drive back it occurred to me that I don't want to be with a person that has the capacity to do this to another human being, let alone a faithful and loving husband of almost 8 years. I've read that the average R takes at least 3-5 years. She'll be in her mid 40's by then. She is not trying to string it along and has made every indication that she is moving on so I will as well. I want to start over. I want to have a family. I want to be able to trust again. I don't want to live the life of checking her phone records and emails every day. I don't want to go to bed with her and think about her actions. I don't want to be with a person that doesn't want to be with me. I deserve to love again. I deserve to be happy again. I can't have those things with her. The sadness is so overpowering but my new opportunities and new life are so exciting to think about.
D Day: 6/13/13
Moving on. Every Single Day.
Posts: 282 | Registered: Jul 2013
Abbondad Member Member # 37898
Posted: 10:15 AM, August 19th (Monday)
I could have written this myself. All these reasons made me file for divorce from the (I thought) love of my life.
We can't live a life like the one you describe. Take the plunge and live the life you deserve.
Separated and divorcing
Posts: 1108 | Registered: Dec 2012
dmari Member Member # 37215
Posted: 11:28 AM, August 19th (Monday)
EXACTLY!! You have the right mindset and attitude! I especially love this line of yours "The sadness is so overpowering but my new opportunities and new life are so exciting to think about." SO TRUE! Congratulations on your decision!Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 18, DS 14
"...he hasn't ruined YOUR life or the lives of your kids - he's ruined HIS OWN life." anewday78
Posts: 1452 | Registered: Oct 2012
SeanFLA Member Member # 32380
Posted: 12:14 PM, August 19th (Monday)
I myself would love to just pack it all up and move out to the gulf coast...preferably the Destin area. Start all over in an area I love. But unfortunately my son is here. And until he's done with high school and on to a college of his choice I think I'm kind of stuck for now. But I do think I want to retire out that way.BS(me) 47
1 son 13 yrs old
Married 18 yrs, together 21 yrs
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." ~ Bob Marley
Posts: 1133 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Zombie Land